Thank u for the support also 
Today is literally going to be a day that involves going to bed earlier and just hoping that I will be refreshed and renewed waking up tmrw haha.
When my son started school the first 2 days I didnt rest. I couldnāt sit still and I had to be doing something. Even when I had the time to relax and do things for me, I couldnāt. I literally exhausted myself sooo much during the time he was at school, that by the time he got home and then my hubby got home, I was snapping at hubby and irritable and impatience. And then of course I felt guilty and put myself down and was frustrated bcuz of how I reacted I actually have to schedule time for self care otherwise I wonāt do it. I know itās hard but I think if ur able to get some self care & relaxation time in for u while ur kiddo is at school, it may actually help with responding when ur child comes home and therefore helps with not feeling shitty about reacting in the ways u donāt like. I forced myself to relax for the past 3 days and Iām slowly starting to enjoy it lol and my patience level is higher and I am kinder and just more pleasant I find. Iām really hoping things improve for u lady 
they will! This too shall pass.
Day 751 af
My aunt and uncle who live next door have been aware that I donāt drink. This morning over coffee I got to talking to them about my ending relationship and the conversation turned really deep talking about therapy, my mental health, codependency, and I guess it was the first time I said out loud to them that I am an alcoholic.
Most of my family when I say this have become shocked and try to convince me Iām not one (my grandma actually yelled at me about it before while out in public). My uncle was the first of my family to not do that. He just told me heās proud of me and that they knew I donāt drink but didnāt know my why, he acknowledged how hard it is and continued to emphasize how proud of me he is.
Iāve been blubbering like a baby all day when I think about it. I canāt stop crying. His validation just caught me off guard and means so much to me. I didnāt know how badly I needed that.
Hereās a photo of my giant 10+ ft tall sunflowers
Lots of love to you all my TS fam 
1169
Coffee. Woke up early. Will nap later. Today Iām going to do jack all. Because I deserve it. I did the intake for the Pesso group therapy dealing with childhood trauma yesterday. It went well but it was exhausting. And they want me to continue to have an individual therapist as well. Well, nobody said this recovery/discovery thing would be easy or fast. And Iām sure itās worth it.
Afterwards I took my friend and her daughter to see the start of the the tour of Spain. In Utrecht. First stage passed by my workplace and we watched there. We had fun. It was a day very well spent but now I need some rest. Will probably ride my bike tomorrow. One day at a time. Sober and clean.
Have as good a weekend as you can friend. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from yesterdayās team time trial, won by my yellow clad compatriots of Jumbo Visma.
Day 307 af
Nothing new here.
Still fighting the good fight.
Good night, fam.
Good night on 115 af.
Still crushing it! Going to see a concert with my wife on Sunday night. Having already done one without drinking Iām not worried about that temptation. Just going to soak it all in and enjoy the evening. Night everyone!
Hey @BrianP how are you doing?
Havent spoke in a while, how is your ankle healing? Hope your able to be getting out more, especially with the nice weather atm.
Still going strong with your 118 days congrats.
@anon9289869 Iām so happy to hear you were able to talk with family about It, and having that bit of support 
congratulations on your huge 751 days. Those sunflowers are very tall, I didnt plant any this year- used to with my daughter every year but would be too painfull alone, but i always enjoy seeing your garden.
@Cjp What a beautifull painting, it looks like it is a very therapeutic and calming healing project.
@SadMemeQueen when we leave all these jobs to pile up it is really daunting isnāt it, and can leave us not knowing where to start but once they are done it does feel great doesnt it.
How is the piano going ? Dont be so hard on yourself, there is so much greatness in you I need you to believe in yourself and that you are a very kind lovely young lady with so much love and I need you to love yourself 
your doing so well and itās okay to have moments where you dont do anything and just need to do the little things that make you happy, thatās what I have to do when my mental health gets bad. Just concentrate on the small things I enjoy and everything else can wait, and thatās okay.
Huge congratulations on your 171 day wow yours stacking those days up really well Iām so proud of you !!
@Minatasha congratulations on your 167 days
Iām terrible at spilling things, my way of managing this is as soon as I get in the house, I put my pyjamas or house clothes on.
@Alycia congratulations on your 143 days.
Things sound tough at the moment for you, dont beat yourself up for getting so frustrated, its alot going wrong and expensive wow! You dealt with it well, I think anyone would have been angry and upset with this happening, not being able to run the house because external factors out of your control is not easy. I hope today will be better for you 
@mamador I hope today will be better for you. Glad to see you reaching out and getting support. No need to keep it in and feel alone.
Congratulations on 139 days
@Butterflymoonwoman Hope you have a lovely weekend, sorry to hear you have been sad
Iām always here If you need a chat and cheering up. Your doing brilliant handling such big changes this week. Things will settle and start to feel like they are normal.
checking in day 324
Last night I got off my back side and went for that swim, it felt good. It also helped me fall asleep and I cant grumble with the 5 hours solid sleep I did get.
Today I am going to a core conditioning fitness class then an hour swim which I really am looking forward to 
.
Then il come home and prepare a nice healthy dinner and then marathon watch some netflix.
And read in the garden.
Wishing you all a sober day, Iām here if any one needs some support.
Right now 8:38am, been up since 5am and going to do a morning meditation to start off as positive as I can and hope I can carry these positive feelings through until the end of day.
Soooo jealous, dude! That must have been fantastic! I wish I could just do a week in nature! 
Sense 8 yes I love that programme!!
I also got about 5 hours of sleep. No swimming involved. I just had two cheeseburgers and a pint of ice cream and passed out. But it was quality rest. Itās about 3am in my locale, which has become strangely typical lately - falling asleep quickly and waking up fully rested in the middle of the night.
Thatās good to know! I feel like I want to talk to someone about something, but I canāt put my finger on it. Ever have days like that?
Edit: Iām probably going to go back to sense8 if I canāt get back to sleep.
Day 29
I am okay, but I am feeling toooootaly stressed from deep inside!!! I donāt know why! Despite of some renovation matters in my very special plant, not going onwards as I would like to have it. I live in a converted barn, itās old but nicely individual and quiet. Iāve already renewed a lot, but there are still a lot of little things and the floor especially that bother me!!!
I will go to a Hawaiian restaurant for lunch today with a friend, maybe bit of socialization will help.
Thatās it for nowā¦ Will do a later second check in maybe 
It is absolutly clear to stay sober 
Sending love 
Take care 
Yes I do 100% sometimes just talking even if we dont know whatās bothering us can help, just to know we arent alone.
Hi Julia your doing great with your 29 days
I think getting out for lunch and getting away from whatās bothering you at home will do some good.
I always find when I start a home project or feel like everything is not how I want it, just going for a walk and coming back in helps to look at the situation a bit clearer and i see what I have done and how good that is, instead of concentrating on what still needs doing.
Have a lovely day and a lovely lunch with company.
@DryIn785 Also I find if I cant put my finger on whatās bothering me to try and not give it space to grow and take over my day.
This past week iv been trying to really work on when feeling low, to feel it, sit with it and then try to not carry those feelings around with me for the day. Not easy but slowly its working.
The OA on Netflix is also amazing iv watched it twice and I never watch stuff twice. same kind of genre.
I guess itās that my life is just at a standstill right now. I really painted myself into a corner with my last bender. Iām getting all squirrelly sitting at home being broke and bored. Finding a job is going to be difficult because I neglected to get my monthly bus pass before squandering my savings.
Iām just hating myself because I screw everything up the moment I get some stability in my life. 
Thank you very much!
It shouldnāt be so bad after the operation. Iām looking forward to get rest during sleeping again.
Day 333 checking in 
Sheās had some counselling sessions but was only around 5 sessions sheās on the list for the mental health team through the nhs here in Scotland so fingers crossed that comes around soon thanks for your reply
Getting back on track is hard, the mental part of it and the physical part.
Iād say small steps, the small things are what make the big things happen.
I remember feeling how you are, waking up realising Iād spent all my weeks money in a night, didnt know how I was going to get through.
Even when I consciously knew what I was doing when I was sabotaging it all.
Do you have anyone you could ask for help to get a pass?
Try and take it one step at a time, one task at a time and in doing that your tackling each problem separately.
Try and think of the positives like you have gas, electricity and food, so one thing at a time.
What is one thing that you may be able to get help with that can help you move on to the next task. Like your pass.
Iām not sure where you are Iām in the UK over here applying for jobs is mostly done online and sending your cv over then waiting for an interview.
I guess this month is going to be a bit of a tough one for you, you must stay sober, and maybe write down (not a big list) the most important things that you need right now to help keep you sober and help you get through.
it will get easier, it takes a bit of time for life to fall back into place but this really is so true that doing the small things is what makes the big things happen.
Also making yourself feel bad and crap about your situation wont do you any good, I know this is easier said than done but if you can spend one day trying to get the 3 most important things you need right now from your list sorted tomorrow will be easier.
I hope you can get some support and it gets easier to manage.
If you mentally cant manage this today thatās okay, tv and self care is important.
Hope things get better
Thank you for words of wisdom and encouragement. I have faith in myself; I have a great deal of experience putting the pieces back together. I go through this cycle at least once a year. 
Thought about going for a walk. A few months ago I made an 11-mile loop around the city. May do that again. I need to get out and move around because I just feel stagnant. Or I could wait until 9 when the buses are running.
I did have some bacon with a cheese omelet. Things arenāt all bad.