Hey all, checking in on day 807. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hi friends, Iāve been wandering off into the relapse hinterlands but Iām back. Whatās different this time? Good question. Iām checking in, keeping a daily diary so I notice the cravings before I act on them and Iām going to stay busy!
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749
After a couple of weeks of feeling a bit low, unmotivated, in my own head, I guess hormones have changed, and have signed up to one exercise and two study things in the last few days. I am glad to feel better, but wish I was a bit more stable. Reading about the energy crisis that looks set to hit the UK makes me worried for people this winter. But I guess I have to focus on what is in my control.
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I took this picture yesterday but forgot to post it:
1700 sober days! I donāt look at my timers too often, I more use this app to read, like and respond to you fine people, but it is nice to check once in a while to see how time passes.
A little over four and a half years ago I woke for the thousandth time after maybe an hour of fitful sleepā¦nauseous, headachey, nose stuffy and raw. Spent the morning trying to āhair of the dogā myself back to feeling ok, but spent it instead, throwing up, lying on the floor of my bathroom between sweats and chills, feeling like death.
I looked in my bathroom mirror and saw, I just SAW the path I was heading down. I didnāt know how fast it would take me, or the details of what I would lose, but I knew the destination.
What I DIDNT know, was what my life looked like if I put the bottle and the drugs DOWN instead.
1700 days later, I do stuff like mile long dawn swims with my 75 year old father at our favorite lake, I am im the process of buying a home, I graduated in May with a masters degree, got married to an amazing man, am supporting my dogs through their senior days with some tears and a lot of joy, falling into a restorative yoga practice to help me navigate a nervous system that has been out of whack since childhood (only nowā¦.I can finally sense it!), I am showing up for my family rather than running from them, I supported my mother and family as she spent her last days unconscious in the ICU and passed. I am starting to go to the gym in order to create a more loving relationship with my body, I am learning Spanish! I am STILL anxious and can fall into moments of fearing life, but I have the tools now to sense when I am doing it and make another choice.
Itās not all roses, but at the same timeā¦it kinda isā¦because I and doing it SOBER!
I remember seeing people on here with years of sober time in my first few weeks and justā¦not being able to fathom getting sober for that long, butā¦day after day of making sobriety a non-negotiable part of my day, coming on here to read, like, respond and post, reading revocery books and listening to sobriety podcasts, getting myself away from any and all drug use and drinking for the first year, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercises, meditation, restorative yoga, confiding in my sober support network, and generally making sobriety my full time job for the first year or so has helped me get my life back.
When I think back to that me in the bathroom mirror 1700 days ago, I am so glad that I decided to turn off the road I was on, that I heard that most quiet voice shouting from deep inside me telling me it wanted to live.
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Congratulationsā¦ This is so awesome 
And thanks for always being so active here 
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Thank you very much!
Thanks Menno!
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Happy Tuesday my friends! Not that I trust the weather predictions but it looks like a great weather week if it holds out. Have a great one!
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Awwwwww congratulations on your 11 months!!! I am so sorry your family is like that Iām sure it hurts a lot!! We love you and are proud of you though, every single day!!! I hope you have an amazing dinner with your son and that you can really embrace the awesomeness of how far youāve come. AWESOME JOB!!! 
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Day 809 clean and sober today. Congratulations to all of the milestones I saw today WOW Iām so super proud of everyone here!!! Took myself to breakfast yesterday morning then napped, went to the movies and then a really nice hike after that. I exhausted myself and was in bed by 8pmā¦ excellent. Feeling a little better then I have been slowly. I wonder how much has to do with moon phases etc.??? Iām seeing that thereās a few of us going through the same type of energy/depression/whatever kind of a shitstorm lately at the same time. Interesting for sureā¦ Anyways, I hope everyone has an amazing and beautiful day today I love you all a lot!!!
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5 months today 
Another milestone. So grateful to be sober today. Thankyou to every single one of you for being a part of this journey with me
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Thank you! 
I call it āhousewife Mondaysā lol. Itās the day of the week I go shopping and meal prep and clean the house. All stuff I love to do and I treat myself to breakfast out and read my book. Itās a very busy day but there are treats and i always feel so accomplished at the end.
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Start of day 5 and yāall. I slept. Not. At. ALL. Man the nightmares were on full time last night. I woke up gasping and sweating more times than I can even count. Iām not sure why I was so Unsettled but wow Iām tired. Figured if I was gonna be up before dawn i might as well get up make some coffee and watch the sunrise though. So I did that and it was nice.
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Great share 
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Day 91. I feel out of it a little. thanks for the replies everyone. Much love
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How much weight do you want to lose? If I may ask?
Day 762
Tired, irritable, donāt want to get out of bed. This whole past week has been emotionally draining. Heading into my work week today and might plan to take a mental health day later in the week. Had a fall on Saturday and hit my head while up on a stool rearranging book shelves so maybe Iām just feeling off while my body recovers from that. My stomach at least wonāt let me mope in bed too late. Gonna go grab some breakfast and try to get this day moving.
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