Day 35 free from alcohol
Day 16 free from toxic relationship
I am fineā¦ No cravings at all!
I think i got it this time!
Still staying awake that the devil is behind the next corner!
I am using my new Nuxe bio products for my face every morning and evening, reminding me how healing sobriety is !
Products were a gift to myself for 4 weeks
My skin looks awesome!
I am not that hungry anymore, rather the opposite! Not hungry at all last 2 days.
I let my body lead thisā¦
The last toxic relationship recedes into the background, I no longer think about him and get in touch with him!!!
Iām doing my online workshop and focusing on self-love. I make the exercise from the workshop and defined a few standards and deal-breakers for how I envision a new relationship.
I try not to think too much but to enjoy the day and the things that come and happen.
This is challenging for meā¦ Due to personality type and instability in relationships beginning in childhood.
I give my bestā¦ Everyday is a new opportunity to practice!
Coffee is over soonā¦
I will hop on the mat now to do a lovely Yoga sequence. I am sooo much back into it since a few days, rediscovering my body.
#Day 1437
The last days of our holiday we are staying in a appartment in Kas, Turkey.
Itās a city near the sea. We arrived yesterday. Rented a car to get here. There is alcohol everywhere because there are a lot of tourists here. Many of them Russian and they like to drink loads. But I do not do alcohol, not anymore.
So instead I try all the fresh made fruit juices. My favorite right now is the carrot juice.
3 weeks before my 4 year sober milestone and Iām not going to ruin that for a short time feeling.
Not to mention the day after and my feeling of guilt. Not worth it.
1175
Coffee. One day of working a late shift ahead. Followed by a ānormalā weekend. Sober and clean.
The meeting with my therapist was intense yesterday. Emotions running wild. Got away from it exhausted. I still made it to my experiential expertise class which was a bit more theoretic this time so less emotional which I was glad about. Picnicked with my good friend and her daughter at night which was nice, and good I went despite my tiredness. I need a life outside of work and schooling and therapy too. Balance.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. Itās why weāre here. Love from Amsterdam. Glad I had some time in between activities to sit and chill in the flower garden.
Thank you very much Menno. At monday a short flight and thuesday a longer flight with swith to another plain in Romania.
Iām a bit anxious with flying, but I manage
Glad for you that the other therapy has started, but it seems much. Therapy sets so much in motion, is it doable?
Iām still in the process of starting up the second group therapy. I did a first intake and will start it in October. Itās called Pesso therapy and is aimed at dealing with childhood trauma.
I did 18 months of schema/psychodynamic group therapy which was more aimed at the (unhealthy) coping patterns that evolved within me as a child. That helped me loads but it didnāt address the trauma. So thatās next. I hoped Iād be cured by now but alas .
The therapists giving the Pesso therapy say it is necessary to have an individual therapist as well (a āregiebehandelaarā), to help process all that will happen and comes up in the group therapy. For now thatās one of the two therapists who did the schema therapy. First therapist ever I got a good connection with.
Because of insurance and company rules itās quite complicated to keep her as my individual therapist but Iād like to keep her. I feel safe with her and a good relationship with a therapist is by far the most important thing in having a successful therapy. Much more so than the type of therapy even.
Anyway. I wished I was done with therapy and I didnāt think Iād be in this for years but itās what it is. I do think I have lots to gain from it still. On we go. And is it doable? Iām doing it. So I guess it is doable. Itās my personal journey of discovery and I love it even when itās tough.
Day 330
Hi everyone, I just wanted to let you all know how important you are in this community, for everyone and also myself.
Not having the greatest day today, but I feel less alone knowing I have you guys supporting me.
You guys never let me down
I always say it iv never had or seen support like I get here and see others sharing with eachother in my life.
Iām going to go for a snooze and hopefully it re starts my thought pattern.
Everytime I have needed support there is always someone here, many of you actually and when Iām feeling how I am now it gives me so much comfort to know you all care.
Anyway going to take an hour snooze then hopefully il be feeling more like myself
Just want you to all know how important your support is, and how caring it is here
Iām lucky to be apart of this community
The positive is its 11:30am still plenty of time to change this day around to a happy one.
Yes I know it is. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for 10 years. And this is something we always mentioned to the clients. I had a few sessions with a therapist a year after my mom died, 17 years ago. It helped me cope with the mourning progress. It was good but hard as well.
I do not know schema therapie. Curious what it is, going to Google for it.
Thank you for the update Menno
I hope you are just as aware of the importance of you and your support to everyone here as well. There have been many times when a post from you has turned my mood completely around. And the great way this forum works is most of the time you werenāt even talking to me! So take your wee nap and when you get up your day will be restarted and you will be ready to face the world head on!
Over night trip to a lake with the fam. The usual married couple bickering driving here and organizing stuff. Then lots of playing in the water with the kids, and a lovely soak in the public bath, and a super delicious dinner. At first I was slightly annoyed that we got two free drinks tickets that became two beers for my husband, but there was a machine with a good selection of soft drinks, so that appeased me quickly. The food was a buffet so it was funny seeing our preferences come out. My son ate probably 30 mini tomatoes and lots of fruit, my daughter ate purely carbohydrates, I ate tempura, sukiyaki, salad and dessert, and husband was too full of those beers to eat much.
Day 118.
I canāt believe itās the end of the week already. Things have been going well though. There were no further mistakes made at my school as to whether he was in class or not. It was down to them changing his form class (but not updating the class lists) after the difficulty heād been having with some classmates last year. One of the solutions was to break the group of boys up which seems to have been a really good move. My son has also been signed up for some after school activities which has been good.
Thereās just a really nice vibe in the household now. The kids have been enjoying eating at the dining table now that I got a new tablecloth, and they like to set the table all fancy. I also got a jigsaw that weāre all working on, and thatās been really nice. I like the way that conversation unfolds when youāre focusing on finding the right pieces.
Hereās to a relaxing weekend ahead.
Day 15 Af
I woke up this morning and decided I will not be attending a wedding I was invited to tomorrow. Idk but it was on my mind as soon as I woke up. I do believe itās too soon and the temptation is definitely going to be there. Majority of my family will be drinking and I know myself so āNopeā im staying home.
So I pretty much have a free weekend to do whatever I want.
I donāt know why I havenāt told nobody except my husband, brother and best friend about this new journey im taking in life. I guess cause I donāt want people to question me about it or ask me why. I always drunk at home after work and it got quiet so nobody knew I had a problem or shall I say a bad relationship with alcohol.
So for now I just choose to take this personal journey alone for now. Itās not everybody business anyways lol.
Iām debating on going to the gym before work or just being lazy and resting a bit longer.
I donāt know. I will check in later.
Feeling kinda blah this morning.
!
And sober shall we, we do this together!!
.
