Day 390 today. Just finished polishing up my final draft for this class and then I’m done with another class. Only a million more to go it feels sometimes. Have been making a plan with some veteran services and other services as far as getting help with housing so hopefully things can settle soon and have some sense of normalcy again. Hope everyone takes care and stays safe.
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Happy Wednesday! Have an awesome day my friends.
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Morning Check in
Day 212
I woke up groggy, irritable, and rushed. But not only that, i actually felt “lost”. This was the 1st time in months that I actually felt this way 
Got my son on the bus for school. Started getting ready for my workout. Was scrolling thru fb and on one of the recovery pages I was on, I saw this:
This hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. I truly felt like i was meant to read this. The biggest reason why i am clean is BCUZ of my connection to my HP. Some people may be able to gain recovery without a HP (Im not saying a spiritual connection is the only way), but for me it is. I have been relying on my self for awhile. And i know full well where reliance on myself gets me. My “best” ideas in the problem, got me into trouble. I stopped getting ready for my workout and i prayed. I have been lost bcuz i have been relying on myself to get things done and then i wonder why im feeling off and irritable and disconnected to myself and others. I NEED my HP in my life. Its like oxygen to me. And i have been suffocating myself bcuz i “dont have time”, “im too busy”, “i dont feel like it”, “ill do it later”. I cried while connecting to my HP bcuz im tired of running the damn show. So i turned my will and my life (basically my thinking and acting) over to the care of my HP. I let go and gave it all away. It doesnt mean that i stop thinking and doing things for myself, but it basically means that i have that guidance and direction in my thinking and behaving to do the next right thing. I have also, in a sense, been selfish. I dont even have to act selfish to be selfish. Literally i have been thinking of myself and the things I need to do for me, me, me for awhile now. I realized that selfishness today and it sort of “woke me up”. Just like that image stated, I literally need that connection to my HP every single day in order to keep addiction at bay. And i feel like at almost 7 months clean, im returning to the basics of recovery for a refresher. I did my workout after my prayer and will take time today to get out of my self and to connect to God.
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A sponsor is there to guide you. A good sponsor helps you in learning how to take your own inventory. A sponsor gives suggestions and is good at calling you out on your bs. A great sponsor knows how to help you grow without taking your inventory. There is a fine line they have to walk. Yet as has been mentioned sponsors are human. They make mistakes. It is how they respond to their own mistakes that help me decide whether or not it’s time to move on.
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I found myself in an outpatient drug rehabilitation at 16. I wouldn’t accept a HP. This attempt at sobriety would ultimately fail due to this, IMO.
20 years later at 36 I would find my HP, sadly without sobriety. I was baptized after accepting the gospel.
At 44, now I realize, sober, that what I learned at 16 wasn’t all forgot and lost, I carried it a long the way. It’s the only way I had the emotional intelligence enough to save or be part in the saving, or salvation of my wife and I’s marriage. Also and most importantly if it wasn’t for my faith I don’t believe I would be humble enought to have set aside my childish ways:sparkles: its by faith im here today, giving God all the glory 
!!! Even as a degenerate alcoholic my god blessed me, and continues to bless me to this day.
John 15:5
I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain with me, and I with you, you will bear much fruit, apart from me, you can do nothing.
93 AF today, not 1 w/o my HP
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I love this! Thank u for sharing 
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Good Morning everyone,
Day 93
For a long time been trying to get myself to the gym in the morning.
I did a few times while drinking maybe like 3 (LOL)
I really have never had the energy to do it or the determination to stick to my plan.
Through this journey I have learned to stay committed to my plans.
I have decided I want to change up my routine and get to the morning class.
I no longer have the excuse of a hangover or poor sleep.
This week I have made it twice.
I want to say this is only the beginning of my new routine.
Still working on it but most changes I have made have been fitting and aligning very well.
Happy I am fully taking control of my time and I no longer let alcohol dictate my schedule.
ODAAT 
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Wow 93 days same as me!!
I accepted Jesus as a young teen.
I however derail from my path and the scripture you shared today is very true.
Being away only brought me sorrow, addiction and an empty life despite of a family.
I have now rejoined my path and things are feeling so much more in place.
Thanks for your share.
Glory to God who is all merciful
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Thanks.
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Well congrats on YOUR day 20. Well done you!
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Checking in on day 5
Crazy day at work today, high season is here! The weather is also changing, we still have almost 30C, it’s so effin humid! In addition it rained sand tonight, my terrace looks like shit, all dirty!! 
I’m done with the heat!
Went to Decathlon to buy some stuff for my workouts (rubber bands), and got stuck in a traffic jam on my way home due to an accident. It took me ages to get home! I finally made it safe and sound though! 
Just had a shower, feeling much better now, after a long day of sticky warm weather! 
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Thanks man!! 
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Just advised by an attorney that the custody fight will be lost because of my mental health. Doesn’t matter that I’m in therapy, on meds, under medical care, or that I’m sober. Fuck.
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Day 142 sober from alcohol. Big win today. Just had a breakthrough with my therapist that I enjoy the mental state of being sober more than I do consuming drugs and alcohol.
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Oh I’m so sorry. That’s impossibly tough. I don’t have any useful advice but I wanted you to know that I hear you and my heart is with you.
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I love that!
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Feeling lonely.
Having cravings… First time since 2 weeks.
Feeling wine running down my throat 
No i won’t. Definitely. But I had to share.
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I hope sharing helps. Drinking definitely absolutely won’t. You’re not alone. Hugs.
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,510.
Thanks
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Thank you Menno!!!
It helps…
It passes…
I will just go to bed with some positive thoughts and start a new wondeful day tomorrow.
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