Im glad u had such a good day! I get like this too. Even at just over 8 months clean and sober, i still cry over how grateful i am to be where im at and accomplishing simple daily tasks. They arent so simple when drinking and using drugs. Glad ur here and having an amazing sober day!
3 Likes
Iām sorry it hasnāt gotten any easier for you but so proud of you that youāre still going strong despite the struggle. Well done. And congrats on 4 months!!!
3 Likes
Midday Check In
Day 250
TW about food and obsessive thinking
Im really struggling with food today. Like really struggling with over obessive thinking about food & struggling to prevent myself from binging.
My eating routine feels all out of whack today bcuz i woke up at 530 am to workout. On most daysā¦ i wake up for 630 and workout from 9-1030. This delays my eating until about noon when i have a healthy lunch, then a small snack, and then dinner later on. It fits well into my daily calories and i feel good overallā¦ not hungry but not over full. But bcuz i woke up early and got my exercise out of the way, im now trying to prevent myself from eating for the wrong reasons.
I am doing my best to be healthy about this. I have eaten more than usual for it being 130pm, but its been healthy. Im finding myself sort of searching for something to satisfy a food craving (what i want is sweets bcuz im tired. Thinking that sweets will give me energy). I had a banana and a serving of oatmeal with cut up strawberries and brown sugar in it for breakfast. That helped temporarily. But what i wanted is the damn cookies in the cupboard that hubby bought a week ago. I postponed this urge to eat them several times by eating crackers n cheese, and then eggs with salsa. Finally i gave myself permission to have 2 cookies. So basically, instead of continuing to eat all these random foods to try and satisfy a craving for cookies (which in turn adds up the calories like crazy), I had 2 cookies with my coffee. No more. And am feeling okay now. I have never tried this method. Usually i postpone the urge sooo long that i end up binge eating. I normally wouldve napped if i was tired to prevent this whole scenerio from happening, but my son is home from school so i cant nap. Just feeling physically tired and now mentally tired. I get exhausted from obsessive thinking, no matter what im obsessiving over. Im so sick of thinking about food. Like why does this happen? Ive quit numerous things in my life, drugs, alcohol, smoking, yet food is a tough one for me. Ive always struggled with balance. With substancesā¦ u just quit it all. Go thru the withdrawls and maintain that recovery. With food theres so much mental work attached to it. Im going to try distraction next. Some cleaning or crafting. Idk. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent this out lol oh and i also think i have to cut nack on the caffeineā¦ i drink too much I think. I dont even know at this point lol
14 Likes
Oooh!
Donāt miss your upcoming opportunity for a pleasing sequential run.
Go the 1234.56 capture!
8 Likes
This is so awesome 
You are a queen! 
1 Like
Still day 4. Just finished with work. BAD cravings. I think itās worse because itās Friday. Anxious about getting through the weekend and today. Headache is coming back. Anxiety is pretty bad. Really struggling. 
12 Likes
You will find a way about the eating thing and thoughts Danaā¦ I am sure 
One day is not like the other.
We are not perfect!
We donāt have to be perfect.
For me it works very well atm without hard rules to myself, sometimes I was so obsessed about eating healthyā¦
That I forgot to enjoy at all. Last weeks my AppƩtit is low and my favorite meal or snack is roasted bread or toast made of spelt with Avocado, Tomato and sometimes egg.
There were times, I totally restricted any kind of bread from my meal plan!
And any food made of grain. Any!
(and thatās just a part of my storry)
Jap I am fucking absolutely inperfect.
Yesterday I didnāt want to eat at all.
And Jap I have a problemā¦ There it is 
But I give my best to not judge and not restrict myself with hard rules! No measuring, no counting.
Big hugs! 
5 Likes
Hi Karen, Fridays were tough for me as well in the beginning, but it does get better with time. Hang in there. Maybe you can call a friend or do some workout for a while? Reading some threads on here or listening to podcast can be a good distraction as well. Rooting for you 
4 Likes
Looks like we have the same clean date. Keep it up.
1 Like
22 Likes
Thatās is so amazing!! Congratulations 
3 Likes
Hey Karen 
I just wanted to say your doing great. The first few weeks can feel so tough, especially weekends.
A walk out in nature sounds great, it will really help, I know it did for me when I was feeling super down and awful in the first week. I also went swimming a little. I didnāt feel like it, I felt sad and really crap, but I forced myself outside for some sun and a walk or swim and i felt a lot better once Iād done it. Then I just put myself to bed early for a while, with a snack and a movie and just rode the waves. Remember to be kind to yourself, your going through withdrawal, so treat yourself kindly, take care of your basic needs, food water exercise rest. A bit of meditation, or a calming bath.
It gets so much better, I promise. Keep going, one day at a time 
7 Likes
Checking in day 206 
Weekend has begun, Iām up at 4:30 with no alarm because this is my life now apparently 
I will most definitely need a nap at some point, which I will be able to indulge in being the weekend, yay!
Iām about to head to the gym, and then for a trek up to visit my sister in prison. Sheās doing a pretty long stint, towards the end of her term now. Iām really worried about her, but just trying to be there for her, as support as Iām her only family left that visits.
I think Iāll do a bit of baking later when I get home. We have a wedding tomorrow, one that will be a lot easier on my husband and I, because the groom, our friend, is sober 
so we can just enjoy the lovely food and evening, and celebrate. And I think he will enjoy having some sober company too.
Anyway, have a great weekend guys.
13 Likes
Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,548.
God Bless!
11 Likes
Day 24. Feeling good. Wish I was as active as some of you, but I have not found an inner athlete in my sobriety. That said, I am sleeping better and feeling less stressed. Itās finally cooling down in Louisiana (low 80s), so that might help me get outside more. TTFN.
14 Likes
Congratulations on your 50 ODAATs Miranda.
3 Likes
Hey Dana.
I think this is your second post about always thinking about food. That Iāve read anyway. I hear ya. I was telling Stella on another thread. I think about food all the time. And it too drives me crazy. But itās more like whatās for lunch. Whatās for dinner. We canāt have that if weāre going here for this now. I donāt know. Food is a really big deal in my life. And always thinking about it drives me nuts. We go out to eat all the time or Iām cooking. And Iāll be thinking of my next meal while Iām eating. Thatās why Iām always weighing myself Monday and Friday. Iām terrified to put all that weight back on I lost. My intermittent fasting has helped a lot. I been doing that forever. 7 or 8 years now. I donāt eat my first meal til after noon or 1 pm. Itās not for everyone. But it does work for me. And most days I eat two meals no snacks. And now no sugar. I guess I got a lot of will power. But I still constantly think about food. I wish I had some good suggestions for ya. But your not alone here. Maybe insight timer has some food related meditations or healthy eating meditations. I might look that up.
6 Likes
Thank you so much Eric for the helpful post. I have thought abit about intermittent fasting. I love my coffee tho with creamer and sugar in the morning which Im sure woukd break my fast. I feel like i almost need coffee to help me wake upā¦ probably not a good thing. I think these thoughts on food etc are coming back up again bcuz im putting more priority on my health again. So im more focused on foods and weight and meeting my goals. As exhausting as it is (thinking about food), i almost would rather be focused more on health and changing my bad habits, then just not caring about what i put into my body. But its still frustrating either way lol I might have to try a few things and see what works for me. Ive considered the No Sugar idea for awhile now. Maybe if i didnt consume extra sugar, i wouldnt be craving it? Idk lol thank u for ur support 
i appreciate it!
3 Likes
Congratulations 
1 Like
Checking in
Day 250
This is probably my 3rd check in today. Today hasnt been the greatest. I got some bad news about my meds 
i went to re-order my mental health meds and turns out i have maxed my husbands benefits for the year. I literally started these benefits last march and in 8 months i have reached my $1000 cap. I knew these meds were expensive (like $140/mth without coverage) but they really worked well for me and my mental health. Its a newer drug and has no generic brand yet so thats half the issue. The benefits renew in January but i literally have 2 pills left. Ill have to make a call to my family dr on monday. I am going to have to ask about going on my old med which is alot cheaper. It did work for years but then i began having issues with them when I was using drugs and not taking them, then taking them, and lots of back and forth with the strength. Lots of negative physical side effects came up when I tried to really back on them for good. I tried to stick it out back then but the symptoms never subsided. But im over 8 months clean so maybe they will work? If they dontā¦ then i have no choice to see a psychiatrist and have to go thru my history and whatver else it is that they need. And i personally dont want to have to do that if necessary. So heres hoping that my old med work. Either wayā¦ ill be iut of meds for abit until I can sort this out. Im grateful for all my coping skills that Ive learned but abit nervous also bcuz its extra work to function somewhat normally. Im going to have a lot of work ahead of me with challenging my thinking and managing my moods. Im not worried about relapse but i am worried about my irritability and my stress level and my extreme moods. Hope i can get in to see the Dr right away next week. Not happy right now about this. But there is literally nothing i can do until next week. Not going to stress over something that i have no control over.
15 Likes