Ohh 
makes sense. I never would have guessed though. Iām not exactly to ādaysā at a time yet, one day Iāll get there. But for now ill take things OMAAT 
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Sending solidarity & support for your situation right now 
i can only imagine how thatās feeling for you, i really hope it can get resolved!!
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Hey one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Whatever works!
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Day 230
A day.
Hectic morning then I painted 2 ceilings and cut in a wall. I worked fast and was insecure. Im going to deal with the rest tomorrow. But the ceilings look smooth.
Insomnia is horrible. Didnt have melatonin. Now i will set my alarm for 730 and hope for the best.
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Day #60
60 full days of sobriety for me today. Itās been an up-and-down experience thus far, but Iām getting there slowly, albeit one day at a time. Thatās all I can do.
Had a pretty rough night last night, and if Iām honest, itās probably the closest Iāve come to having a drink since I decided that I wanted to turn my life around & live a life of sobriety. My ex, who I lived with & spent two amazing years with (whoās also a teacher for the context of the story) went out with friends for drinks last night to celebrate half-term. Ultimately, my drinking was part of the reason why she ended up leaving me. I then had to pack my things & move 300 miles back to my hometown. Anyhow, we still speak & keep in touch; our break-up hasnāt stopped us from communicating.
She isnāt a big drinker & is extremely reasonable, but I canāt help but worry at times. Sheās her own person, but I still miss her a heck of a lot. I think part of me hopes that if I stay in communication & remain friends, that sheāll change her mind & weāll end up back together, but that isnāt the case in truth; sheās already made her mind up. And it hurts; I probably hate myself for it.
All I wanted to do last night (knowing there was alcohol downstairs as I currently live with a member of family who is the occasional drinker) was to head down & just consume the lot. Even if I ended up flat-up passing out (which has happened in the past after drinking too much). I just wanted my self-loathing and hurt to stop; maybe temporary, or maybe forever.
But I didnāt. I didnāt go downstairs & I didnāt drink. Despite that voice in my said saying: āDo itā; I resisted. And today Iām 60 days sober.
I know that some days will be more difficult to contend with than others. I know this journey isnāt easy. But various instances in my life that have tried to bring me down have all failed in the past - I am still here, and I am still breathing!
Thank goodness I can get back to local meetings from this Wednesday coming, at least for a week or two. Work commitments have restricted me from being able to go for a month or so. Although I need to work, my sobriety is also important to me, and realistically, more important than a job that is only a short-term solution until other plans I have come into fruition. I feel like Iāve been venturing slightly wayward recently, but Iām sober, and Iāve not went back on the promise that I made to myself to give up.
Have a great day everybody. ODAAT.
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Congratulations to a quarter of thousand! 
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Congratulations to 4 full sober months! 
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Congrats on day 24! 
Not everybody has to be active and find an inner athlete 
Enjoy your good sleep and give body and mind time to heal 
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Woooooop!
You made it to 60 days
Cool jobā¦ Thanks for the positive vibes you are bringing in here with every post! 
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Hi, well done for not giving in to your thoughts, thatās all they are, thoughts.
Congrats on 2 months, youāre doing really well. I enjoy reading your posts, theyāre very informative.
What are your weekend plans?
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Oh no Charlie! I hope it gets better! One day at a time, youāre doing amazing! Hang in there!
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Thank you 
Iāve got three late (10pm) finishes in a row at work this weekend. That might explain part of the reason why my mood is all over the place! 
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Hope things pick up soon!
I donāt know if it helps but sometimes when I am feeling lost itās a sign I need to stop searching for a direction and try and find some peace where I am. Easier said than done. But striving for a way out often adds to the difficulty. When I can find peace where I am, eventually the path seems to become a bit clearer. Ride the wave etc.
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I think I will go to the FRO thread and vent there. Food sucks hard, because, as you said, you have to eat. I would prefere to live from sunlight instead of having this annoying shit with food and caffeine. 
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Try to find a group of peers in real life, which has meetings on trigger eventy. I donāt know where you live, so, unfortunately, I canāt give you any recommendations.
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Noice! 2 years of sobriety! That is freaking awesome, mate!
Sorry but the turtle image made me giggle
Sober socialising is weird and awkward to start with. Maybe it stays that way for some people. Fwiw I have friends who are awkward and I like them anyway. Try not to worry about it, just do what you need to do to get through it. And if you can, try to not think about how you are coming across and enjoy yourself in your own awkward way 
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1232
Coffee. Weekend. Management tried to make me work today but Iām glad I said no after a totally hectic night shift with two clients leaving -one sent away after using, the other one went away himself to use after harassing a colleague- and three clients needing extra care, because of their feeble mental and physical state. And my colleague leaving after being harassed. Well I handled it. Sober and clean of course. Just one week left before my vacation. Yay!
Have as good a weekend as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. Itās why weāre here. Love form my balcony, where some blooming is still happening.
@Wasabi79 Huge belated congrats on two years friend! Awesome stuff!
@AEGFletcher Two months already! Congrats!
@Butterflymoonwoman Hugs my friend. Hope youāre sleeping a good sleep.
@Benwa10 Big congrats on earning that chip Benjamin! Lots of work, work of love, went into that. Keep going!
@Charlie_C Youāre here with us friend. Youāre not alone. Hang in there. Hugs.
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Day 21
I woke up at 8 and was energized, I like that feeling Did the dishes from yesterdayās late night meal because I was too lazy.
Already made and ate some pancakes and now sipping tea watching a documentary.
The sun is shining and soon Iāll get out there, I need some clothes for the Christmas party my office announced.
Yes there will be alcohol and a lot of my coworkers will drink too much.
It will be mid December so Iām not nervous about it. Iām there for the food and to meet some folks I havenāt seen for months. Iāll be gone after munching all the good stuff 
The closest of my coworkers already know that I donāt drink any more, they wonāt try me to. And the others? Theyāre busy with themselves.
Iāll come back to this thread later, it helps me to read your stories and I stay focused on being sober.
Have a beautiful sober day friends 
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@Butterflymoonwoman I am so sorry you are going thru this. Noone should have to jump thru hoops to get their meds, or meds be too expensive. Hoping that you can get thru it. You have learnt so much these last months, it will help you. 
@AEGFletcher Break-ups hurt, and they just take time. Alcohol would block it out for a while, but it would be waiting for you after, plus whatever you had done drunk. Congrats on the 60 days
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