Evening of day 5. The day wasn’t too bad but now the cravings are getting intense again. So I’m here. My brain feels like it’s at war with itself. Trying to distract myself. I know I’d be so disappointed in myself and ashamed if I drank. Fortunately there’s nothing here and I already changed into my pjs so less tempted to go out. Every day is such a struggle. I feel like I’m just trying to survive until I can go to bed. It’s kinda miserable. It better start sucking less soon.
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Day 92 AF woup woup 
Day 73 toxfree (relationships) 
I have to sleep now 
I had 4 workouts.
I cleaned a wooden staircase to my flat and removed moss from it this morning.
That was fucking shitty hard and I cursed the world out! Maybe neighbour’s had fun 
Hard workout. I had to change clothes afterwards
Then I papered a great wallpaper in my living room, so I had second workout on the ladder and while striking it. It looks awesome and soo cool!
Mum was visiting me to help me with the wallpaper and so I cooked a nice lunch for us.
We enjoyed it and had a nap on my couch afterwards 
Then we went to a fabric shop for a new blind… Found something really nice that fits to the wallpaper and rest of my calming behavior.
It just needs to be stiched.
3rd workout was 30 minutes Yoga before swimming 
4th was 2500 meters swimming in 1h 
Ah and I made 10 pull-ups on the 1 meter jumping board afterwards
Feeling fine!
Powerful hugs 
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Bet that was fun an hour or so later!
Always love this idea!
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Feeling emotional today. Yesterday my mother told me she can’t stand me and she HATES me. she screamed it at the top of her lungs in front of my grandchildren. I’ve been in bed all day. I didn’t drink over it. I have 28 days sober today.
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That’s a hard thing to hear. Hugs. Anyone who says I hate you, rather than I don’t like this part or that behaviour, has their own issues. And the fact it is your mother breaks my heart for you. I’m glad you didn’t drink over it.
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Thank you 
What a lovely building, i could spend hours there looking at the bricks and everything id be so in my element.
Thanks dor the pictures i havent travelles much so i really enjoy to see the world even through pictures. 
Making a list is a great idea, as you mentionnto write it on a good day means even if we picked one thing off the list to try its most likely going to lift our spirits.
Thank you, i am doing much better now, today the wifi was off ( since 3pm yesterday until 5-6pm this evening) so it felt like the whole house had shut down but i had a good rest, but couldn’t get on here. As i live in the basement flat no cell reception but it was nice in its own way to be cut off from the rush of everyday life.
Its amazing how often i reached for my phone for so many things.
Have a lovely day 
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Hi iv started going to meetings at least one a week and the same 3 i stick to.
Iv never done the steps, iv never had a soonosr to be honest it scares me just the thought if having to check in with somebody and the actual steps. So when i first went to AA a few months back i had decided to leave all expectations and preconceptions at the door, and go with the flow because for me i know if i listen to myself il never do the steps or even stepped foot in a meeting.
I have a few numbers of people, and i still dont have a sponsor yet although im feeling like the steps are something i want to do im not in a rush im letting everything just happen in its own time.
I think just turning up at the meetings is all i have to do for now, and the rest will happen.
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28 days is 4 weeks!! Congratulations, that is so hard to do and youve done it.
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@KarenKW it will suck less soon. Weve all been where you are and its tough but this can be last time if you want it to be. Go to bed early if need be. Anything but drink. We’re here for you
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We need a saturday thread like the friday thread!
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Good evening, everyone! Have the day off after my first full week of work. Kept making plans for the weekend, and now that it’s here, I’m just vegging out. 
But the dishes are done, all of them, finally.
Got a letter from Theresa, my friend in prison, who also sent a homemade Halloween card. That made my day a little brighter. And I saw my Peer Support guy today. He lost his brother recently and is still taking it very hard. Feels like I’m his support, and not the other way around, which I’m totally cool with.
Currently watching another backpacking video in the snow. It’ll be snowing here soon enough. It’s been about 45 minutes since I was outside. There could be 8 inches of snow now. Or it could be 85 degrees. Because Kansas don’t give a f**k.
Facing the next week without meds because American health care is just the 8th Wonder of the World. So, I’ll be gritting my teeth until Friday. And probably whining here a lot, so I’ll apologize in advance.
Have a great sober Saturday, fam! 
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I agree. I am on day 6. My mind is still a mess. Rushing to get a sponsor right away, seems a bit premature in my opinion.
I got a few numbers of the AA folks who I felt I could connect with. There are a couple of over zealous pushy types who I’d rather avoid.
The AA group I am in, has a WhatsApp group with a lot of members. It’s like a helpline. Anyone can request for help and several people reach out. I posted a message yesterday afternoon that I was craving and 4 different people called up within minutes to offer help and advice. It was a big help.
I am not into religion or spirituality but today I prayed for the first time in many years. It was a good feeling.
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I feel the same way too. The feeling of resentment festers within me, till it almost becomes unhealthy. Is this an alcoholic thing?
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My thoughts exactly. I’ve been holding on and trying to control everything, my whole life - and I have never really managed to control anything. Not even my own life. I have decided to let go and let the current of life take me wherever it will. I feel that the universe has a plan for me, and the current of life will take me there.
For now I will just attend meetings as regularly as I can. Listen to others sharing thier experiences. Sometimes share some of mine. When the right time comes I will find my sponsor and he/she will find me.
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You are on a very good path, friend. Keep trucking! That WhatsApp idea is a good one!
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Bored so i searched sober and sobriety on youtube. Found this gem and wanted to share
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Day 231
I have been on a little work vacation. Painted 2 rooms in 12 hours and staying as a guest in that nice house. They are very hospitable and its good.
My neck hurts! Painting ceilings is serious. I am slower than average but i did keep up a decent pace and it looks professional. It was nice to see the excited smiles of the people finally seeing the new color on the walls.
Should stretch. If i cant get out of bed now I will in the AM. But i am entirely insomnia. Maybe will watch tv or st. But need to be up by 8 or so.
Im back on all the apps. I think I saw 50 accounts of traumatic things of all types in 10 minutes. I support people speaking about their experiences on their pages, its important. But i need to limit my own consumption of internet bc i cant heal like this.
Im so tired and cant sleep 
goodnight or good morning to the europeans here!
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Day 6 and that’s pretty good for me so far. Been struggling to remember to check in every day. I want to pass out at the end of it. Tomorrow will hopefully go well but we’ll see
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@Mno thread have said everything already. But if you want some literature, I would recommend “Living Sober”. It is an AA booklet without the good stuff and it helped me a lot.
I would recommend it to every alcoholic, who starts it sobriety.
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