I’m so sorry this is your experience in this moment. The hope and fact is that all experiences change. Moment to moment the passing of time changes us and our experiences. I pray today you learn from this experience and choose a different experience. Your next moment is unseen. Hasn’t manifested yet. But it is there and it is your choice. God bless you with strength and courage!
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Today I made 45 days AF!
I feel pretty good even though some days are pretty boring. I still haven’t found a hobby outside the house or any sober people to hang out with. So I pretty much just been going to work and home lately.
But I still prefer to be living on the sober side of life because I lived on the other side for many years and I would rather be bored any day than deal with the craziness that came with that.
Haven’t been on here in a while so I’m so behind but I hope everyone is doing well and making progress one day at a time!
Have a blessed sober day!
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Hi Matti,
I am writing it down every morning…
It’s more personally and if we are writing, the words are already sinking down in our subconsciousness. 
Sometimes it’s the same, sometimes special things for the day, sometimes a wish to another person. Sometimes even to the world.
I am doing this since a few weeks and my life and especially my point of view of myself and the world changed dramatically! 
Having a short meditation afterwards, repeating the sentences silently and then some easy Yoga movements. That’s my morning ritual. Standing up with a calm relaxed smile, I don’t loose during the day… Most of the time 
A big step was not having great aspirations of how the notes looks, if it is good structured or even about the content. I was such a perfectionist that I sometimes didn’t even start things without the perfect concept. And that’s not helpful in private matters and work on emotions and personality, I think.
Don’t know… I created this concept by myself.
If I will not have any ideas anymore, there is enough inspiration in the internet, books, cards and so on.
Hope you will give it a try 
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38 days. Signed up to start working for DoorDash today. Don’t necessarily need the money as much as I need something to do with my time. So … this is it. Weird, unexpected sobriety step.
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Wooow they are HUGE!
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Thanks! 
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Here waiting for my furniture to arrive. Got word that my furniture will arrive today, late afternoon. I am very grateful and nervous at the same time. Scared to think that a semi-truck will be here in my apartment complex. Oh well. They are the professionals. Going to do some meditation and prayer this afternoon. I’m anxious about my stuff, but I know it will be fine, right?
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I’ve heard that DoorDash can be fun and entertaining. Good work!
Day 31. I have a pain condition doctors will do absolutely nothing for including prescribing pain medication. It’s like a barfing, then fainting, no thoughts, only pain consuming my every sense kinda thing and luckily it only smacks me down a few days a month. I used to “medicinally booze” if it got too terrible. And yes. I know self medicating is not a good idea. I feel like a few people might understand where I’m coming from considering the medical establishment REAALLY effs some of us over. But I’m not going to turn to that this month and I’m gonna be real. I’m scared. Scared of the pain. Scared of my body. I keep wanting to say to myself if it gets TOO bad you just do what you gotta do and drink then. But I’m not letting myself cause that’s a slippery little loop hole there brain. But I’m afraid cause some months it’s like a SI level of pain. Out of my mind in agony. I don’t know how I’ll weather it. But I’m gonna.
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I used to drive for Lyft. I LOVED it. I thought about DoorDashing. I’m interested to hear how you like it and what you think of the app and stuff after youve tried it out a bit! Good job you for finding a way to fill your time.
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Yay!!! Furniture!!! I’m delighted for you.
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Day 148. A decent Sunday starting off with taking my daughter to a birthday party which allowed me time to get some groceries (or as we like to call them in Scotland, “messages” lol)
I made a Caesar salad for dinner and after that helped my son bake brownies for his classmates. They turned out well and there were a couple left over so the kids had them served with chocolate ice cream and chocolate sauce.
The weather has really started to turn though. I’m listening to the wind howling in the windows just now, and I put the heater on in the living room this afternoon for the first time in months. I treated myself to a new jumper which should be delivered in the next day or two.
Also, I’m pleased that we’ve bought tickets to an art exhibition for the anniversary of my husband’s passing. My son had seen the exhibition with his class on Friday and really enjoyed it and thought I’d appreciate it. It feels really fitting as it’s the sort of thing my husband would have liked.
Another ODAAT ticked off. Night all.
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My first 2 years of sobriety I worked a lot. Mainly to keep myself busy, the extra money was nice tho
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So we auditioned a new front man last night, I talked to him a few times on the phone and in a group thread I saw his audition videos and they were good,
He texted us to say he’s at the studio early. Well shit, can be on time I dig it im usually getting there around load in time
Played a few songs the only thing was timing issues which we expected, it wasn’t gonna be perfect he had a week to learn 5 songs, but he was on key, our biggest critic and driver is our drummer. I mean he gets really picky and anal, you miss a note he’s like, please go over that part again. And he’s very vocal about it.
The dude said well I’m a little nervous, and our drummer goes stop I’m like well fuck here we go, he’s like your on key, your here, tonight tells me 2 things can I work with you, can you work with us, how’s your personality? Things I’m seeing that I like. We can work on the timing with practice.
Took a break and went back in and said treat it like a set. And we did, and we had a blast. I been working with these guys on and off for a little while. And i never felt so much energy In the room, than I did last night. I think what really proved it was our slave driving drummer knows I cue off of drums, and he missed a beat I was looking for and it threw me off. And he just started laughing I was like ok guy can have fun.
Looks like a new era in blood corps history is coming between me and another guy working on new music, and looks like a new front man, And a plan, I’m fucking excited
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Thank you my dear sweet friends, I love you guys! @Its_me_Stella @Dazercat @Mno @soberwalker @Twizzlers @Dan531
Here is her 1 week photo! I never got professional newborn photos of my first born so this baby I get a chance re do everything lol.
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How adorable! And elegant, didn’t think babies could be elegant!
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Checking in
Day 223
Hey everyone, hope everyones day/evening has been good. I just really needed to check in and be apart of TS right now.
I honestly dont even know whats going on today. I think its just one of those days.
I didnt work today. Stayed home to watch my son bcuz hubby had a tattoo to do elsewhere. I just feel like that little nagging voice is there today. I dont usually get it. I havent felt its presence in honestly a long time. Its not a strong voice but its like a little black cloud that follows me around. At first i felt that nagging urge to use. Brushed it off. Did what i always do when i get that annoying thought. Then the thought of food came into my head and my mind couldnt stop that obsession of wanting to emotionally eat. I fought that off for as long as I could until I said “F it” and ate what i wanted to eat to satisfy that craving, even tho I wasnt hungry. Couple hours later, i have that nagging thought of using again. I obviously wont. I cant do it. I dont want to do it. But its the first time in a very long time that im hearing that voice, “U have control, u can do it once and stop, its not a big deal, uv been doing so well etc etc”. Thankfully im not new to these voices and know the track record all to well. Its a lie and theres reasons why i quit. I am never going back there. So these voices can F off! But why? Why are they popping up like this? Am i not doing something that i need to be doing? My mind has been obsessing alot today over diff things so whats going on? I havent figured that out yet. I just really needed to feel connected to u guys today. Maybe im not doing enough recovery related stuff. Idk. These thoughts scare me abit. But its a healthy fear. Will get thru today for sure. Theres no other way but to get thru this. Using is no longer an option for me today. Hugs to everyone on here. Im thinking about u all and hoping ur all doing okay today
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Omg 
She is so beautiful Sarah. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful miracle. I hope your recovery is improving. From having a baby that is 
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I think you are right. Those thoughts still popped up from time to time in my first year to year and a half. Touch wood 
it has been maybe six months since I got a drink craving. I have thought about escape and like you turned to food, or YouTube, or something else. But a mixture of fear of going back to the hard hard early days, pride of my sober time, and just pure force of habit of not drinking, kept me safe, and I think it will keep you safe too.
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Reached 5 months sober today. Ive been crazy busy lately with traveling and spending time with friends, but its a good problem to have
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