It’s still dark outside here in the UK; winter is well and truly on the way. I’m a little bit tired, but I slept ok - I must have got close to 7 hours. Nothing that a cup of tea and some breakfast won’t resolve, I’m sure.
My sleeping pattern has been a bit hit-and-miss recently - I’ve just started a new job at the beginning of September. It isn’t what I want to do long-term as I’m retraining to become a driving instructor (I’m just waiting on documents and papers to be sent to me before I can progress), but I’m currently a Team Leader at a Co-Op Food store (local convenience store here in the UK). Most of my rostered shifts have been late finishes due to having to close and lock the premises (10pm +), so by the time I’ve managed to get home, unwind and get to sleep, it’s been late.
Nevertheless, I’m really not complaining. It’s work, I’m grateful to be earning a wage, and it’s hopefully only a short-term solution until other aspects of my working life fall into place. It may be 3 months; it may be 8 months - who knows.
On the other hand, I’m looking forward to Saturday. Parkrun in the AM, followed by the Rugby League World Cup opening game between England and Samoa in Newcastle. It’ll be my first sporting occasion since becoming sober, but I am at a stage of confidence now where I can be around others who may be drinking/in particular scenarios or settings where alcohol is served, and I’m not craving it now. I’m looking forward to having a few Cokes, being present in the moment & enjoying the game!
Day 4. Made it through Wednesday which is always a trigger day. Bought myself some sparkling apple which was really lovely.
Finding that early nights are really helping too!
Hope you’re all ok. Love waking up and being able to come on here and say yay, I’m still sober. It’s a really lovely little start to the day.
Hello D
My life is very different than yours but I could relate to what you said about missing out and unfulfilled dreams. I was in such funk for a number of years when I started to deal with my issues (please don’t read “number of years” as something that will apply to you, too). I wanted to work, travel and raise a family, none of which were happening at the time. I was miserable, mainly bc of depression. I couldn’t attend friends’ baby showers. I was so jealous of them for “having it all together” while I was trudging thru intensive therapy. I was convinced I was never going to see the end of it.
This year, I graduated from therapy and occupational rehabilitation, I’ve started working again, I’m travelling in my country, I met an amazing man who loves me and we’re planning our future together + family. I’m not gloating here but merely pointing out that there are seasons. The season you’re now in will change into something else. Keep dreaming if it’s not too painful. Hope is powerful, it sustains a human soul. With God, hoping won’t bring you shame.
You are in recovery of many things, not just addiction. You are laying the foundation of a healthier life for you and your family. You are taking care of your son to whom you are the entire world. It must be exhausting but it’s deeply meaningful. Find pleasure where you can in your context. Idk, buy a new piece of luggage, saying “one day I will travel again”
You never know what your friends have going on in their life.
Morning from N.E England. A day off for me today so going to get busy in the garden.
I had a bad day at work yesterday and used that as an excuse to go to the pub.
I was angry with my boss at the time but im more angry with myself for giving in to drink so easily.
So here we are back to square one again. It really is like snakes and ladders. One square at a time .
I will find positives in this and use them to learn more about myself and how I cope in certain situations.
One that springs to mind straight away is I never smoked thats well over four months now.
I don’t have anything much to offer apart from big hugs and some admiration for how you’re handling all these feelings. You have been through so much. You are putting in the work. Things will change one way or the other. You deserve a happy and fulfilled life
If I’d have slept in any longer I would have missed it, now the mist is rising and everything is cloudy. I’ve been reading some Buddhist stuff to try and get back into meditation practice. Felt like a good analogy. We’ve gotta be awake to see the world as it is.
I have been reading your posts the past few days just been a bit tired to join in the conversations.
I have been organising stuff at home and putting up some shelfs and coat hooks so been a busy few days. Im hoping to finish all the jobs in the next hour or 2 then just relax for the day and cook a lovely dinner.
Its been a bit stressfull, but iv pushed through.
Just sat down i must get up and keep going with the last few bits.
Have a lovely sober day
and strength 
Even better that your new job comes with this on top. 