This is DEEP girl I feel like a brick juat smacked me in the face haha i have never ever thought of it like this. So basically being hyper vigilant and almost obsessed about doing everything in recovery, is another form of self obsession (ego)?? If this is what you mean, I can definitly relate. Reliance on self has never gon well for me so I can see now why i get nervous or scared on the days when i dont or cant carry thru wtih every recovery related task i want to do. Can I ask for more info on this:
Does this basically mean our self obsession and reliance on self, hijacks what a spiritua connection can do for us?That at some point we need to have that faith and trust in a HP to carry us and support us thru our recoveries?
Im trying to process ur post. I feel like ur onto something. Ur a very wise woman my friend
Hugs Fleur I feel the sadness and exhaustion in ur post. Some days are just plain hard. And it doesnt help when the significant other isnt âpresentâ and maybe not as involved as we like. Sometimes connection is just so important. Wish we were closer and we could grab a coffee and chat. I truly hope ur day gets better
Itâs almost surreal to me to get this. I canât wait to make the next meeting and get that next chip too. One month and 1 day ago I would have never even thought this was possible. I had my first relapse dream and it was horrible. I was so ashamed of myself. Woke up in a panic but had so much relief once I figured out I was only dreaming. I really could not have gotten even close to this if it wasnât with the support of this group. Especially in the early days, I leaned on yâall hard whether yâall knew it or not. Thank you all and God bless all of you.
Gongrats on 8 days!!! From my personal experience, youâve got the hardest part behind you. Keep it up!!! Canât wait to see the rest of your progress.
Day 52- my fella is having a rough go of it. I think because of his chronic health problems but he doesnât want to talk about it so I donât really know. Weâre going to his fams for dinner which is always triggering for me because itâs so overstimulating for me. Itâs loud and hectic and everyone wants your attention all at once and I have realized that I used to drink, frequently to dull stimulations. To be like ânormalâ in situations that really just made me want to leave but sitting outside when youâre overstimulated is weird. Getting buzzed isnât. Anyhow. Point is I gotta figure out how to do life better if Iâm not gonna drink my way through it.
Day 15
Today Iâm not able to get warm, I feel cold all the time. Thatâs why Iâll have a hot bath now. Usually I do that in the evening but itâs too cold. Already had some soup and tea.
I still donât really know what to do on a Sunday except playing Sims But thatâs better than being hungover right? Weather is cold - warm - cold - stormy - rainy as if it has an emotional meltdown
Okay, hello bathtub, bye internet
Morning Check In Day 245
Its literally 18 min after my shift started at work, and i already am feeling so accomplished! My client today really struggles with hygiene (will go a week or so without bathing) and due to his disability he struggles with understanding direction. He has very severe behaviors where we always need to be double staffed with him. My coworker however will be here in 2 hours so Im alone. But my client today was in a great mood and I have a fairly good rapport with him and so I thought about encouraging him to bathe. I gave him very simple prompts at a safe distance and step by step directions and he actually had a bath! Im feeling proud of him for following thru and proud of myself also for trying a few new things to help him understand
Today I prayed on the train. Will be working on my recovery routine today also. I am feeling grateful and blessed to be where I am. Grateful for the connection to life and others. I honestly feel like today will end up being a good day!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day also
Thank you Dana I love you too! Yes it would be AWESOME if we could all meet up somewhere sometime! I believe there used to be a zoom meeting that was here that people could go to and hangout together??? I was brand new in sobriety so I was too nervous to join in I think Iâd be ready to do it now, I wonder if that is still going or if we could bring it back??? @SassyRocks do you remember the zoom meeting Iâm talking about? Thank you Sassy and thank you Dana for making my day
I feel like a brick juat smacked me in the face haha i have never ever thought of it like this. So basically being hyper vigilant and almost obsessed about doing everything in recovery, is another form of self obsession (ego)?? If this is what you mean, I can definitly relate. Reliance on self has never gon well for me so I can see now why i get nervous or scared on the days when i dont or cant carry thru wtih every recovery related task i want to do. Can I ask for more info on this:
I feel the sadness and exhaustion in ur post. Some days are just plain hard. And it doesnt help when the significant other isnt âpresentâ and maybe not as involved as we like. Sometimes connection is just so important. Wish we were closer and we could grab a coffee and chat. I truly hope ur day gets better 
hard work was put in to get this! Proud of you 
But thatâs better than being hungover right? Weather is cold - warm - cold - stormy - rainy as if it has an emotional meltdown 
Morning Check In 
