3pm now i think its time to get out of bed, make it and move to the sofa 
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Congratulations on 6 days! Coffee is my absolute favorite 
hope you feel better soon
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Not the best day, been over thinking today about when i used to drink and how it could have affected my daughter…im worried incase ive left any lasting anxiety in her or damaged her emotionally in any way, i love her so much but i know i was really quite mentally ill back then and i know i wasnt myself alot of the time 
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You are actually fit enough to change your laying position from the bed to the sofa?
Amazing!
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I was going to post a picture of how close the sofa is from my room but thought i better not 
Edit But i will now 
and as you can see iv not left my room yet !
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What matters now is that you are making a positive difference to both of your lives.
I use those thoughts to motivate me to stay sober, although when feeling them.isnt a nice experience its all i can do otherwise i would turn into deep depression.
Your doing an amazing job right now and that counts alot, i often see signs in my son that i think are my fault for being an addict he is 20 and it makes me reallys sad when i look back but i know right now i am having a positive impact on him and that matters.
Try not to bring yourself down with these thoughts, your human and you never intentionally would cause harm emotionally so be kind to yourself none of us are perfect.
We can only do our best and now thats what you are doing. 
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Thanks Twiz i needed to read that today, shes only 5 and didnt deserve me to be so erratic at times but your right i am doing the best i can
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Yeah @Twizzlers covered it. I hope you feel better soon I guess it happens from time to time to worry about those things. I worry about my son and how he was born addicted I learned about him 2 months after he was born got a DNA test and all. Im not in his life now but I will be hopefully soon. He’s going to be 2 yrs old in Jan. I know he won’t remember this time probably so my goal is to get it together this time around so I can be part of his life while he starts to remember things. I beat myself up for using and not being present but I also know I’m doing everything I can today to make sure I am a positive role model in his life and God willing have him full custody one day. I worry that he will be like me or his mom who is still in the streets but in the end I’m powerless over what he chooses to do later in life. All I can do is be the best example I can be for him and if he does go down the wrong path he will know where to go for help if he wants it. As for what’s already been done I’m in the process to learn to forgive myself so that’s what I hope working the steps well help me with along with my entire existence 
like twizz said " be kind to yourself" I gotta work on it as well you’re not alone man. Stay blessed in recovery 
you doin great.
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This is a great way to look and work on your situation
Your doing what you can now, if we keep looking back we cant move forward and become stuck.
You right that there is time for you to still be a main role model and care for him and its great you see this too, keep doing those steps and this will become reality.
You can do this, you are doing it already and before you know it you will be reunited together
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Thanks so much Jft, big up to you for all your efforts i know it cant be easy but nothing worth doing ever was, this is a huge opportunity for you to have him back in your life and make a difference, keep plugging away it will be so worth it, my love to you 
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I think you can nearly fall from one on the other. 
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you have me laughing out loud !
Certainly can fall from one to the other !
Heres the view from the sofa which is where i have landed after a quick hoover and wipe around.
Also i can reach my arm from the sofa to put the kettle on
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Day 33
I had a really good day at work. Not stressful, very calm and organized. I love days like this.
The only thing that stresses me max is that I developed another hemorrhoid 
I had surgery back in 2018 and I never ever want to go through that again. The pain was okay, but the way I felt after the surgery? Anaesthesia is the devil 
Well, I got some medicine for my butt and I’ll do my best to treat it good and hopefully I can reverse it a little. Prayers are welcome (no matter to what God or entity you pray to 
).
At least I’m not in much pain this time.
I’ll drink lots of water and keep on eating healthy.
Not tempted to drink, but stressed. I’ll stay attentive 
Wishing you all a beautiful sober day friends 
Stay strong 
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Hope your not in too much pain and it does go away by itself!!
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Morning Check In
Day 263
Today has been good! Woke up feeling pretty rested. Sent my son off to school. Did a workout. Then went to mail off a gift 
Home now to clean and maybe start another dreamcatcher. I finished one for my husbands Nan who is in her 90s. Although i have never met her, she seems like a sweet woman. Not much going on today. Lazy day i guess. I like being busy so this is sort of throwing me off. I have to remember tho that relaxing is still doing something. Im not a robot and can go go go all the time lol
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Glad your day is going well, yes take the time to do some stuff you enjoy and your dreamcatchers are always so well made and made with love thats special
Me being so lazy today i kept feeling bad like i should be doing something but now i realise i needed it.
Have a lovely rest of the day.
Iv used all my likes but am here reading still 
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Day 0
Evening all. I’ve been away for a while but by doing so I’ve lost my way and fallen back into my addictive habits.
I have been working on myself over the past couple of months and life has got no less stressful. I’m back to try and build good habits, be accountable for my actions and live each day as it comes.
My PMO addiction is the one part of me I don’t like. I am not ashamed of my addiction anymore as shame has kept me alone in this fight for too long. I want to grow as a person and be better for it.
But to do that I need to put the actions to those words, which starts today.
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Welcome back
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179, checking in.
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Huge welcome back! Its nice to see u here again!
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