Thank you very much…
I hope you will find ease in mediation. 
Love 
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Thank you so much for ur comment. Sometimes i beat myself up if i dont feel like im doing as well in recovery as i should be, but i have to remember that 9 months is still early for me in a sense. I struggled with addiction for 22 years so its natural for me to think the things i do. What matters is what i do with those thoughts. I never mention to my husband that im struggling or thinking certain thoughts. I know that that could be a risk bcuz he im sure has had thoughts here n there also. Basically why put myself in a harder position of having to outright say “no” to using, by asking him or telling him that im having using thoughts? I have to take responsibility for my recovery and cant expect him to discourage me from using if im struggling. I juat close my mouth amd dont say a thing lol
How are you doing?
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Your doing so well 
In jut being easy on myself today my anxiety is really sensitive i kind of feel like im going to just burst into tears, but im finding ways to cope and learning how to deal with this wave when it hits.
Iv got alot done today already, have dinner in the slow cooker so i can just take it easy now and iv tired myself out too.
I managed to get 4 hrs sleep last night but not because i couldnt sleep but i binge watched a whole season in Netflix until the early hours - i enjoyed it lol. I do know when i dont sleep properly i can feel how i do but generally i am ok i have ti just go through flow of it until its over ans tey to stay distracted.
I almsot dozed of to sleep a minute ago and i think a relaxing evening and il prob fall asleep early.
I am happy with myself for going into the garden and cleaning up the leaves it took a while and was quite physical work so i have alot to be pleased with myself about and just noticing these feelings have been brought on by the lack of sleep - i guess im realising im not young anymore 
and all the little things add up and take there toll.
Apart from anxiety im ok. Ive eaten im tealing in bed now and in going to just be on and off here whilst finding another program to watch this evening.
A meeting prob would have done me good thid evening whilst its getting dark already its 4:20pm
But actually i will fall asleeo.around 8pm-ish listneing to the marathon AA zoom meeting. I feel this is something i could do more consistently as it does help.
Im just rambling on now 
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Checking in day 76! Another pretty intense night at work last night. I was able to sleep in some today— still tired but definitely on the upswing of this hovering cold or whatever it is. Grateful it’s the weekend and I can really recharge.
Had another dream about alcohol last night where I turned it down. I’m happy with subconscious me for saying no 
Happy sober Saturday friends!
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Yeah, 3 sober months for you! Well done! 
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Yes I feel better today.
Exactly this was on my mind 
I googled my symptoms yesterday and it fits 100%.
Usually I have problems around 2 weeks before my period. I’m fearful, get migraines, can’t sleep, overthinking a lot and panicking sometimes. Kinda a half-time depression 
Weird.
And when my period starts it’s ALL gone.
Weird.
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Huge congratulations to you!!! 3 months sober is such a big deal! Way to go on all the hard work youve been putting into ur recovery!
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For me also it all starts 2 weeks before and oddly just stops once its that time.
Yes definitely mention it to your health professional they may be able to help with it.
Im trying natural teas and have done for a while.
Sometimes it can be more intense than others and with seasons changing my dr also mentioned i could have SAD. So i brought a SAD lamp but im very new to using it.
I think atm my symptoms look like i have everything 
so im just trying to get to know them and there patterns a bit more.
Heres a big hug
I have put a kind of comedy on to watch… i usually am into all the space, ghost and alien stuff like you mentioned the other day but i thought something funny may lift my spirits even just a little.
Create the atmosphere im longing for.
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Day 13. Check.
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This is a great idea! Laughing is healthy 
Sending big hugs your way too, you’ve helped me today just by assuring that I’m not just making it up. I’m not alone 
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Checking in on day 141 AF
Happy to wake up sober and hangover/withdrawal free another day!
Nothing out of the ordinary to report. I’ve been running into some folks from meetings I attended regularly (and now when needed) in the beginning of this journey. It’s so nice to see people and they know I’m sober! One girl even commented that she almost didn’t recognize me. Which is super nice…but also reminded me just how awful I looked for a while. That sober complexion is where it’s at! 
I’m not going to drink today. And I hope you don’t either. 
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I really like the phrase I heard in therapy. Wrote it some times here:
Shit is stinking but it’s also warm.
We tend to keep on things we know are bad and destroying us yet, giving us an escape an imaginary place of relief, we take the shortcut.
I hope you handled the day sober. 
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Things that make you go Hmmm!!!
Some words from the BB Alcoholics Anonymous
“Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I
were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn’t
hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and
poured it into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not
being any too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking
the whiskey on a full stomach. 
peculiar mental twist!
pitiful and incompre-hensible demoralization!
<<<( 
)>>> 
PEACE
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Awwww im glad you dont feel alone.
Also your not alone with the headaches my migraine has just started i can feel the nausea and the head ache starting. More reason to just take it easy.
Going to eat lots of vegetables for dinner and deink plenty of water i actually just realised I haven’t drank much today so could be the cause.
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Day 259
Another sober day. I watched a failed satire of a t v show. I have perfectly good books to read but im watching tv or in bed! I need to:
Clean my room for 45 min or even just 15 
Draft some letters
Go get gas
Pick up my new computer
Pick up auto parts: brakes, rotors, headlamp restorer, new wipers eventually, wire cord for washer fluid.
Post office
Laundry
Shower drain
Shower
Paperwork- a ton of paperwork
Pharmacy
Stretch
i got up at 9 and the day is gone. Hate 2 day weekends.
On time for work for 3 weeks straight. Literally unheard of. But even with that accomplishment im exhausted and feel like im drowning. The only way out is through.
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Hi Mark,
can you link the article?
It’s a picture and I would really like to read it.
Hope you are okay, sober and better then this morning.
I have a Bitter Lemon zero half mixed with sparkling water on ice after workout. Cheers!
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Thank you both so much @Butterflymoonwoman and @Planipennia!
Anyway 120 days is near 4 month on 22.11.
already… my sober date is 22.07.2022.
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Have to do a report to TS swim team
@CATMANCAM and @Twizzlers so far. Newcomers welcome.
I had such a badass workout…
Pushed my heartrate with the fins and paddles.
Had some laughing with a very fast guy.
Nice warm shower after training. Used some special oil for the muscles. Very relaxed now.
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Way to go on those 9 months! Keep up the good work!
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Checking in on day 42. Man do I need a check in. A moment to pause my thoughts.
I went out to dinner tonight with my family. The family’s favorite pizza place. Overall the dinner was great. Great food and great company.
But… my brother brought up his wife’s birthday party from a few weeks ago were he drank way way way to much, threw up a couple of times, almost broke my freshly healed ankle again and ofcourse he doesn’t remember a lot about the party. I was at that party and made it out sober!
But him reliving that night plus some other drunk nights he and his wife had made me crave alcohol so badly at dinner tonight… everybody at the table new I quit drinking. They know it isn’t possible at all for me to ‘drink moderately’ but yet they’re telling drinking stories… but hey… I gueds that’s society? I just tried to stay calm and enjoy my food.
But boy did I want to drink!
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