Day 17
I’m not feeling too good but I’m not letting that ruin my day
I got a kitty for my wife not long ago. He is a handsome little guy named shadow. He is very active but so funny. He is prob about 7 months old. I had to kitty proof the room because he likes to mess it up while we sleep but we love him
Have a good day everyone
Hey Amie, I’m doing ok. Not great but ok. Still just starting over. Ordered the smart recovery handbook that someone recommended, AA didn’t seem to be my thing. I can’t seem to get my shit together longer than a couple months at a time, now it’s more like a couple weeks at a time I’m not gonna quit trying though. So I figured I’d try something else, hoping maybe this would stick. I’m still on here reading a lot, just not posting that much. Between the stress at work and at home I was having trouble staying grounded and on a straight path, which is no excuse cause we all have our problems, but here I go again for another round. Thanks for checking in on me dear. Hope everythings good on your end.
Day 51
Today was a good day at work 
We’re only missing 2 coworkers, I hope both return soon.
Besides that there’s not much to say. I’m feeling good, only a tense neck I have to work on.
I’ll get some Soulfood now and going to relax this evening 
Have a beautiful sober day friends 
Stay strong 
Checking in day 78. Not the best day so far- last night I had to take my partner into the hospital for mental health reasons, and he’s being admitted. It’s a weird position to be in because I’ve been settling my mind on needing to leave the relationship because his alcohol use isn’t compatible with my sobriety. But now he’s going to be detoxing while he’s there which could light a spark for him. But I’m suspending hope and replacing that with open mindedness- open to the idea that he won’t change, and open to the idea that he will. Existing in limbo there, and separating that from my sobriety. I’ll be sober and do what’s best for me either way.
Not every day sober is great, but even hard days are better sober.
Around my detox and some month after, I didn’t watch, read or hear any news. I couldn’t spend up to 3 hours a day of crap happening anymore.
Nowadays I scan the headlines and read some articles. That is a thin line, but crap in portions is bearable. 
IMHO your problems with your car are part of your check in. At least it affects your emotions.
Thank you. It only cost me $375 to fix. Now i just have to come up with $1000 before the end of the month for property taxes. Why does money stress me out so much 
Day 205.
I’m pretty tired right now after doing about five hours of housework today. My daughter has been getting little bites on her legs so I’m trying to eliminate whatever has caused them from the household. I haven’t found any evidence of bedbugs yet but I’ve laundered all of the bedding and her huge collection of soft toys as well as vacuuming all around. I’m aching all over now, yet there’s more to do tomorrow.
I used to always drink several “cleaning beers” when I was doing housework so I was glad to realise that the thought never really crossed my mind today.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
I hope you find the source of those bites soon!
I thought I was the only one who did cleaning drinks! I did cleaning shots. Really unbelievable when you look back at the things we used to do 
121 days free from alcohol
103 days free from toxic relationships
13 days imperfect regular eating
Hey 
Made work without feelings of dissociation. Had a walk in lunch break and a little warm meal heated up leftovers from yesterday.
Will go on with my strategy tomorrow.
I am not okay with the other job opportunity anyway… Need more time to find something that corresponds with my needs I am taking more care of since sobriety.
I had a lot of reflective thoughts today…
As I had few bad days last 1,5 weeks or so.
Thoughts about having more integration of mental disease into live. Basically it’s like any other disease that comes in attacks.
If my mum or dad have a rheumatic attack or a friend has an MS attack or Crohn’s disease…
I don’t mind, if they did anything “right” and analyse new ways all the time. Of cause if it’s about specified therapy or medication that might support.
But I am not searching for faults.
But if I am “not okay” I talk to myself differently, and sometimes others also do.
Like: you really have to manage that all better… You did something wrong,
you have to go on optimizing!
No… There are things that we don’t have fault of and we can’t change.
Maybe there is deep emotional trauma saved in our bodies.
Maybe it’s genetic disposer or a wrong mix of hormones…
Maybe it was too much,
Or maybe life just f*cked us up!
At the end, the symptoms are a attack!!!
What it needs is compassion…
And letting it pass.
Going on with the tings that help…
Staying away from the things that are bad for the disease.
Don’t know if that makes sense and I explained it right. I want to have a more relaxed handling of my diseases or disorders. Not even giving more pressure on it!
I am in a better friendship with myself again since yesterday, tapping on my path 
Sending love, peace and ease 
@King_of_Sam welcome congrats on your sober time so far 
@Joyce19 congrats on 2 weeks
@JP123 welcome back congrats on 3 weeks
@KarenKW welcome back glad to see you trying again 
@Rockstar24777 sending strength
@Planipennia it was a limited time challenge, where you win 1 Purloin for every 1km of walking, and then another for completing all 5km, nothing special, but atleast it motivated me to do it 
@Ktorres I hope your headaches pass soon
@MooseTracks glad you sought help for your partner, I hope detoxing does light that spark for him so you can do this together 
833 days no alcohol.
298 days no cocaine.
It has been raining heavy all day here, and that really made me feel like staying inside, but I pushed myself to go swimming 
I’m really glad I did. It was a little busy in the slow lane where I swim, but then a couple of people got out and it was better then. Glad I went.
However, after 40 hours smoke-free, I went to the shop and completely caved, I bought crisps, sweets, cigarillos, and an energy drink, -all the things that are bad for me! Ugh. I am so tired of doing this to myself, and now I have very bad bile duct pain, all I’ve had so far is 1 pack of sweets as I’m saving the crisps for I’m a celeb.
Tomorrow is a new day. I hope to go swimming again. I will avoid any shops.
@Deelzebub and I did “cleaning wine,” which was of course different from mowing the lawn beers. I am glad to have left that behind, too!
Good morning friends on Day 56 
I apologise for being AWOL but I have had a very big and stressful week but am so proud to say I remained sober through it all!
Last week I started back at work permanently after going casual 18 months after a nervous breakdown that was as direct result of my drinking and the stress of working full time as a frontline worker during the first years of COVID. I was completely physically and mentally burnt out and was hospitalised for almost 2 months. I went through a horrific detox during that time as I had a 750ml bottle of gin a day habit. When I was discharged I dropped to casual at work and worked on my sobriety. I lasted a couple of months before I thought I was cured. Of course I wasn’t and my drinking became heavy again. I stopped doing all the things that kept me from drinking. I went down that black spiral again.
56 days ago I made the decision to get sober forever this time because I realised drinking was something I was never going to control, it would always control me. I knew I would end up destroying everything I held dear in life if I continued to drink. I put back into place all those tools that had kept me from drinking before and added a few more to my bag of tricks. I added yoga, AA meetings, this community and a routine. That included going back to work on a permanent part time basis. Up until last week I was only working a couple of days a month.
During my first week back as a permanent staff member I was welcomed back with opened arms and grateful hearts. My knowledge was put to good use as I was put incharge of educating new graduate nurses in the unit which has sparked my old passion for teaching. Although they were very long days I went home happy and content.
My Drug and Alcohol therapist got COVID so could not come to visit which really effected my mood and my motivation to share or even read anything on TS.
Stress has remained high with my children and the increase in custody and has resulted in having to work really hard on making sure they are coping emotionally and that we all adjust to a new routine here at home. I have managed to get my son and step daughter appointments with therapists starting next week so they can talk through anything that is troubling them. Only time will tell how this arrangement will work out but I am happy to say they will have a sober me to look out for them.
So here I am, still taking it day by day still and not giving up.
I missed you guys too.
Ree 
417 Days
Woke up really late today but still had a very productive day been completing parts of my BSL course and been for a lovely swim
Will book in another swim for tomorrow as i didnt stay very long but hoping it will help me feel tired tonight.
Healthy meal a bit later and thats it really.
Might complete the module im almost finished not sure just going with the flow today.
This is really wonderful to hear. I am so glad that going back to work and getting your routine in place is starting to happen for you - that’s going to really help as you continue on. So great that you have a supportive workplace and a counselor to assist you (sorry they came down with COVID, that is bad timing). Glad you came back to share with us, and no worries about taking time to adjust and not post here at times. I’m just glad to read your update!
So cool you had a swim 
High 5 
Ahhhh… You had a swim too! 
Hi Julia
Negative self talk is something I have struggled with alot over the years especially concerning my mental health. As a nurse, I have endless patience and compassion for those who suffer physically and mentally but had no compassion for myself who needed it the most. My mental health is as real as diabetes, asthma or cancer. It is not my fault and requires treatment for me to be able to live a full and happy life. Left untreated, it is life threatening. I now realise this and treat myself with the same compassion and care that I give my patients because I deserve it and am worthy of it. And so are you
I am thinking of you and hope that this what your partner needs to get sober and for you both to be on the journey whether that is together or apart.
your right dont stop trying, we have all been there and then it can just click and get you get a good sober roll for a while but no matter how many days we all have i believe we are always really on day1 because we are always just that 1 drink away.
The longer sober time doesnt always mean we are safe we have to keep working with what ever works and try to notice when it isnt workingits not easy as we all know
Keep checking in and hopefully smart recovery can help you with some more tools.
Stay strong and dont let yourself feel bad otherwise you can keep yourwelf in that dark place.
We are alway here too, we dont judge, we put our hand out and try help eachother stay standing 
