And I can imagine that it is this voice dragging you always back when you’re half way through the worst withdrawal. This tiny gap in the door that is still open.
Glad that you are back going for it. Slam this fucking door shut.
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Hey Karen! I recommend This Naked Mind to anyone who asks me about sobriety or is sober curious. I read it many times and it definitely helped me get sober. I hope you are “ready” sooner rather than later. I totally understand where you are. I knew for years I had a major problem, wasn’t able to “accept” it until March 2021. It is what it is. I just had to keep digging for a lower and lower bottom. Once I accepted it, it was the most freeing feeling in the world that I still cherish to this day at 20 months sober. The turnaround in my life has been nothing short of a miracle. I kept checking in with TS for years. This is a wonderful community. “Only you can do it, but you can’t do it alone.” This is one of the tenets of The Luckiest Club. Can’t recommend this community enough. Rooting for you.
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90% chance your friends have issues with their drinking and it makes them uncomfortable when you are sober. This is so common. Give it time. Your true friends will come around. I made a lot of sober friends thru local AA. We have a ton of fun. And 21 days is huge. Keep going. Things got really good for me, even better, at around 100 days. Each day better than the day before.
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Hi Karen,
welcome back!
First of all…
You really need a clear and strong decision!
And with this decision you can get in contact with the inner addictive voice, if it’s coming up!
And if it’s coming up and you are in contact, you need tools.
For me, most important is:
-
TS community
Checking in daily
Spitting out emotions with no mercy if needed
Getting support and understanding -
fast forwarding or split screen method
-
priorising sobriety over all
-
allow any strange actions or behavior that’s needed to stay sober
-
find your personal fundamentals you need to stay sober (for me it’s eating, sleeping and moving/sports)
And yes I am not perfect… After over 120 days there are still sometimes days of craving, emotional roller-coaster or forgetting to keep focused on my fundamentals. But yea it gets better and it gives us the possibility to really work with our inner world.
With a clear and sober head! 
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This is a great mantra - one of my go-tos. Keep going, you’re learning about yourself and what you want and what you don’t want. Glad you keep trying and also that you keep coming back. 
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Day 892 clean and sober.
TW Death
I ordered an urn for Corey the other day and it should be here tomorrow. My friend has kept his ashes at her house since the funeral service and I haven’t been able to face that till now. I was going to spread his ashes at the ocean where I spread his moms (my wifes) ashes but I haven’t been strong enough to do that yet.
I am hoping to have him with me this week by thanksgiving and I really don’t know how to feel. When I was hiking the other day it seemed like it was time but now I’m actually really scared of it being too much but I won’t know until I do it.
I’ve never had an urn before so this is all new to me. My entire family has already been put to sea but I’m not sure if it’s what I want yet. I want to wait until I die and then Corey and I can be put out to sea together.
Anyway, bringing him home is a huge step in my process and I feel it needs to be done. I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys 
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Did you get your Pokemon or was it just a daily quest?
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Congratulations on 2 weeks!!! 
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Hey all, checking in on day 890. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,578.
God Bless!
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Lots of love your way, Rob. I think you’re making a smart choice and there is never any hurry in making these decisions. It will be good for you to have him with you. I have to say I love the idea of your ashes being spread together.
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Wow Rob… i think ur doing incredible work right now. This is a HUGE step in your journey. We are absolutely here if you need support (im sure you already know that 
), but I wanted to let you know that again. You are absolutely in my thoughts as you go through this. I think ur idea of being put together in the sea is very meaningful. I can only imagine how overwhelming and scary this must feel. But i think staying connected to ur heart and what ur heart is telling u, will guide u (just like it did on ur hike). Huge hugs!!!
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Sending lots of love and hugs your way. I too love the idea of being spread together, and if you feel overwhelmed, just remember we’re all here for you to lean on. 
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I’ll be thinking of you man and sending strength your way 
That is a huge step, I’m proud of you for even considering it!
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Morning Check In
Day 281
I am so upset this morning. I completelt missed my alarm for the gym. My son is home with me all week as i dont want to send him to school with that out break going on. I would need to wake up at 515am to go workout before the nurse leaves at 7am. Didnt happen 
ill have to make up for todays exercises throughout the week. I spent my morning so far getting supplies out for another dreamcatcher for a xmas gift. “Santa” who comes to see my son in the home and gives us gifts is a friend of ours. Im making him a gift for him and his family. It will be a 9" dreamcatcher with the 4 colors of the Medicine Wheel. Should look nice! Going to work on some xmas decorations also today. Clean. Run some errands etc. Should be a good day!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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197, checking in.
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I’m about to head out to the mechanic. Wish me luck y’all. I hope it’s not over a couple hundred to fix or I won’t be able to get it fixed for 2 more weeks.
(Maybe this doesn’t belong on this thread, but I’m not sure.)
It’s been a rough week and a few times this week I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and I am worried that more bad news might push me to stumble. But i hope I can stay on the path and keep moving forward.
Hope everyone is having a great day
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Day10
Suffering with headaches. But no cravings.
I have a feeling today will be a good day.
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Checking in for day 56.
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As long as you aren’t drinking!! Way to go! Only 2 days sober here but I’m feeling great not waking up w a hangover! I find myself getting nervous about how I am going to handle situations where my friends are all partaking and if I’ll be able to resist. Now, I truly understand what “one day at a time” means…right here, in this moment, I am ok.
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