you got this woman. Hand on heart, find your breath, close your eyes, feel your chest rise and fall with each breath.
Remember you’re loved, you’re brave, you’re strong. You have a purpose, a reason you’re here in this exact moment.
Reach out if you need anything.
I’m proud of you for coming here instead of acting on your intrusive thoughts.
YOU. GOT. THIS.
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Another Day 1
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Really good day today. Day 77 in the books. Had a good dinner with my older bro and younger sis and her bf. All three of us had huge life changes in the last 3 months. Myself getting a hold on 3 addictions and forced to play single dad all at once, my brother dealing with Parkinson’s and moving to a community that can care for him better and my sister moving on from a brutal marriage and finding someone who she doesn’t have to take care of.
I finally can get a flight home tomorrow to see my son and get on the ice for some hockey. Life is good atm and I want to keep this positivity going.
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Hi 
sending healing hugs, i hope your feeling better
Im sorry to hear your feeling low im here for you.
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Hi HBT
How are things going?
The banana muffins sounds delicious and I would really recommend everybody who has to eat “on tour” to have such a thermos container. Just prepared mine with hoooot porridge for office this morning. I am always putting hot water in it for a few minutes before, to heat it up and really keep things warm. I even have 2, one smaller one, one bigger one. In ayurvedic tradition and tcm hot meals are also very recommended.
Hope you are going on sober!
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Hey…
Hope you found a way to deal with it and found some ease.
These days are not that easy.
Be aware that it passes.
Ask yourself what you really need and give yourself a treat!
Hugs
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Thank you for your words to @Scorpn!
I love this understanding for each other so much.
Always someone having your back on here!
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They look so caaaaaaaaalm
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Congratulations to 4 full, sober months!
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That sounds really nice and like a good option for the future! 
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Hey all, checking in on day 880. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Morning Check in
Day 271
Just woke up from an awful drug dream. This one was all emotion based for sure. I literally felt that hopelessness and despair. I was sitting at a table during the day next to this drug dealer. I was strung out after partying all night. I had lost everything before this feeling powerless. I remember my head being down. He handed me my DOC and i took it. I mustve sat there for like 5 min holding it. Then i handed it back to him. Stood up. And left.
That was my dream. I didnt see myself using in it altho i knew i had used previously bcuz i felt myself having lost everything. I got up and just bawled. I never ever want to feel that despair ever again. I got up at 530am and now im at the gym. Gonna exercise this off.
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Time to fess up. Back to day 1. One big problem is that I feel a lot better today than I did before drinking last night. Headache is finally better. At least for today. My anxiety and depression had been doing so much better this year until just a month or two ago. I’m not sure what changed other than trying to quit drinking. I thought I was supposed to feel better without alcohol. It’s a good thing I’m back to weekly therapy appointments.
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I remember asking myself this question not that long ago. It’s now been 71 days for me and I still struggle with my anxiety and some depression, but I can now honestly see that life is better without alcohol. When I’m feeling off, anxious, angry or sad I know that if I was still actively abusing alcohol it would only amplifi those emotions. I think I’m always going to experience these feelings, perhaps a little more than I’d like to, but I know even still I’m better without Alcohol. I can experience true moments of joy and find strength and peace in difficult moments.
Perhaps this is because it’s lot more than just quitting drinking, it’s really hard when you’re sober and you realize the person who have been and it’s hard to take a good deep hard look at ourselves and our lives. I remember questioning a lot of things. I remember feeling like I was watching someone else’s life pass by and feeling so disconnected. When I quit drinking for real and I became sober for longer periods, my emotions were all over the place. It’s like everything I had suppressed for ten years by drinking came shooting to the surface. I cried many many years. I had some serious panic attacks. Recognizing some of the reasons we are addicts and finding different coping strategies isnt easy, and it’s a bit scary. I’m glad you’re back to weekly therapy too. I hope that you can find a path to walk along to help you through this difficult journey of life. Sending strength and compassion
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Im glad ur back and didnt continue to keep going further @miranda said it perfectly. Everything she said was so well worded and i truly can not add much else. I just wanted you to know that it IS possible to live a life without substances. Our minds will lie to us and tell us that we can manage it, that we didnt feel as bad drinking as when we 1st get sober. Our bodies have been thru so much and it will take time. Sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. The benefits of being clean and sober greatly outweigh the temporary side effects that we feel when we first quit. There are reasons why u wanted to quit drinking. To be honest, I personally had to get professional medical help after every single time i quit a different DOC. I had such bad physical and mental side effects that i needed medication to help me get over the inital hump. With ur headaches and other side effects, maybe some temporary assistance would help. Just to get u thru? Im not a dr but just wondering if that would help u too. Just a thought 
thinking of u girl 
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Day 12 
happy sober Friday everyone
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Day 68! Still not feeling great. I ate really badly yesterday and didn’t get to the gym, which makes me feel mentally and physically worse. But I can’t expect perfection. Hoping to do better today (though I think another day away from the gym since I don’t feel great). Work 12 hours today, still no temptation for alcohol.
Also I think the stress of knowing I need to end my relationship is contributing to not feeling well. I did some good processing around it in therapy, but no changing that’s it’s hard- and the whole process will be hard.
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Checking in for day 46 AF.
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Almost 5 days, 2 hours left. Had a tough conversation with my boss. I wanted more money. He rejected this completely, offered me on the other side half of his position with the possibility to get a higher salary next year. This is touching me, I am one second mad of him, because of no possibility of a higher salery now - I would really need it this year - on the other side I am feeling honered to get offered this half boss job.
Now I am at home, alone, high risk emergency case. In this moments, you know…
But nope. Didn’t buy any wine, didn’t drink and won’t. Not today.
But it’s tough. Rough. This will pass like a wave in the ocean. I hope so!
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