I should feel happier about this milestone. But I’m not gonna lie. It’s the loneliest 90 days of my life.
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I’m sorry to hear it has been rough but good for you for sticking with it. Congrats on your 90 days!
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Oh wow thank you! Thats such a nice compliment. I appreciate that! You inspire me also! I love seeing ur posts with ur clean time! Always inspires me to keep going and to hppefully reach that length of time also!
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Thank you Catman!
I’ll stay focused and strong.
I deserve better!
I am so glad that you had a nice swim. 
May I ask if there are no separate cabines in the changing rooms? Okay you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.
I am forced to not swimming… Until Tuesday maybe, cause of a little operation. That’s very difficult. I am bored. Had a walk, yoga and dinner. Still bored and feeling alone. Hmpf.
Would be nice to hear about your day. 
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Hi Twizzle,
it’s already getting difficult not to swim. 
They recommend not to do it until Tuesday.
I had a walk by the river, so I had 6000 steps today. That’s not really a hike I think
Maybe I will make another one very early in the morning tomorrow. And I had Yoga. And dinner. And Podcast. Hm!
How was your day? How is your ear?
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Checking in. Day 48
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Thanks for checking in @anon74766472. I’m really struggling. Went to a bad place in my mind yesterday and ended up drinking. I just can’t seem to handle big and overwhelming emotions. That’s something I’m working on in therapy but haven’t made much progress. I just don’t know how to feel and deal with emotions. I know drinking doesn’t help. But here I am. Hope you are doing okay!
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Day 848
Quiet day working from home and not bad so far. My dad and I might be getting sick so we worked together to make breakfast and just taking it easy. Immensely grateful to not have a house full of loud drunk guests today!
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Day 4 wohoo sobriety is great!! My chronic anxiety is at an all time low
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Day 13 ending, slowly, slowly I am making my way. God bless you my friends
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Checking in
Day 284
Just really needing to check in. Lots happened today, good and bad. Lots of emption, stress, feelings of being overwhelmed.
This waking up at 515am to work out is draining me and i think making me very irritable. Once my son goes back to school i can return to my normal exercise routine.
I have been wanting to eat today bcuz of my emotions. Thankfully I have eaten normal for me and have not given in to emotional eating (not yet anyway).
Ive been trying to sort out my sons school situation with their outbreak whixh is causing me alot of stress. When to return? Should he wear a mask? Etc etc. My husband wanted to keep him home until after xmas break… so Jan 16th bcuz of his surgical procedures late Dec. I had some other thoughts/solutions for this and called him at work at the wrong time. We ended up getting snippy with one another. Even though i do understand his rationale, i dont think its reasonable. As long as the school is back to normal and he wears a mask etc, he should be allowed to return and enjoy school bcuz he loves it so much! Not only that but his bus nurse could potentially be reassigned due to lack of work and we love her so much. He should be healthy still for Dec 20 for his 3 procedures under anesthetic. Thats my plan. So he will most likely return Dec 1st.
Im finding that im burning out every single night. I love my son more than life itself… its just hard some days taking care of medical stuff and everything that goes along with it, along with normal domestic stuff ans work on the weekends. My brain is overloaded with info. I rarely, rarely get time to breathe. And of course today while we were out, i spilled coffee all over the handlebars of my sons wheelchair bcuz im trying to push his chair on a slopey sidewalk 
Got home and chatted with hubby so that i could take responsibility over my wrong doings over the phone earlier. Went to the bedroom for 2 min to deep breathe and slow down. Gather myself. Gave my son a bathe and did his medical care. And now im sitting here for a few min as i type this. Im exhausted 
On a plus note, we are having lunch at a really good Korean BBQ restaurant tmrw with the founder of someone who runs an organization that has helped us tremendously in the past while my son went thru chemotherapy. Im excited to give her the Childhood Cancer dreamcatcher i made for her. I just need some gratitude in my life right now. Get out of self pity and negative emotion.
For anyone who got this far… thank you for reading.
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Sending love and strength. Life is not always easy, and you have a lot on your plate, but you are living meaningfully and growing all the time. 
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70 days alcohol free 
the longest in about 2 years.
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Day 31 no booze or drugs.
Ate Thanksgiving at my favorite Thai place Red Panda. So full.
Got a interview tomorrow, hope i dont blow it.
After my interview i got another interview to hopefully be admitted into a sober house. Might move in Monday.
I spent way too much money on black Friday deals. Need to save better.
I also reset my carb and sugar counter today.
Seems like its easier to quit drinking and drugs than sugar.
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Wow congratulations!!! Really proud of you!
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Thank you and ur right! Every day is different. Just like cravings dont last, neither does hard days. I have the habit of getting caught up in the moment during hard, emotional, stressful days, that i forget that they dont last and better days are ahead 
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Hi 
I saw the Dr this morning, no swimming for me for arnd a week - not sure i can wait this long.
Im doing okay, i try to get 7000 steps a day in sometimes it goes to 13000 depends what im doing.
In my house its so small i can take one step to each room
I have my dog Polly who gets me out too so we will be going on longer adventures i think.
Its great that you are still exercising with the walks, it can become so easy for me to just stop for a week and eat badly.
Il see how many steps i can get in tomorrow and update.
I havent been on here much the past 2 days so hope your okay and everything went okay for you 
I will be back on tomorrow like usual.
You are a 
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TW for mentions of sexual assault
sick of my family. 15 people in this room including me and literally everyone has been asked what they want for Christmas except me. my uncle who has previously sexually assaulted me called me “babe”. I was made to sit next to him during dinner and when I asked to move I got yelled at. I’ve been hearing them talk about me like I’m not even here. not necessarily bad things, but they don’t speak to me. just about me. I’ve been asked “when will you learn to eat real food?”. my favorite desert we have is fruit salad (it’s just fruit cocktail in whip cream) and I asked my mom if she made it this year. she proceded to lecture me about how no because she’s tired and she actually works hard unlike me.
I still have at least 3 more hours here
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@Cjp how is your Thanksgiving going? I remember u posting about how nervous u were for today. Hope all is well
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