Day 7- Hello everyone just checking in hoping everyone has a blessed day in recovery. Today I have a choice and I’m so grateful for that. I’m present, clean/Sober, thanking God for this moment. 
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Congratulations on 1 week!!!
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Hope you do too Rob!! Proud of you 
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Thank you Dayna and I’m really proud of you too!!! 
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Hello Dana! You have always been an inspiration to me. It is amazing what you have and continue to persevere through and still have a positive attitude.
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Hello Dana 
Thank you so much for your kind words and joyning my process 
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My neck and upper back desperately need help and they get help. I’ll start with therapy next week 
I won a sick note until the end of next week, probably longer. As long as I need to heal.
Now I know why I felt so over the place with dizzyness and brainfog. It’s not the hormones, it’s the back.
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You’re awesome. 
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This just motivated me to go squeeze a workout in 
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Checking in day 81! Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate. Today I am so, so grateful for 80 sober days and nights, and the hope and dedication I feel for a fulfilling life ahead.
I’m also grateful my partner is out of inpatient, and is (at least for now) motivated to remain sober. I’m grateful that my sober friends are rallying around him to support so I don’t have to carry the burden.
Im grateful for this community who always post words of encouragement, insightful thoughts, and are vulnerable with struggles. It really helps being here.
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Thank you very much, @Mno , I really appreciate your advice. And yes, I am happy the same time that I feel it and that there is no desire to numb it.
I learned that everything is so much easier if I am sober. Even though I have to admit that anger isn’t a nice feeling. Just for today, I don’t drink.
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That’s great, thank you so much @LeeHawk ! Few weeks ago I discovered that there’s a lot of anger inside myself. I want to learn how to deal with it. And I will. One day at the time.
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Day 18. Check.
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Day 2
Hello everyone, happy thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it. Here in the UK its been just another Thursday. But it was a day I took for what it was, one day at a time.
Yesterday I did the things I set out to do. I had a break from screen time before bed. I had less caffeine and switched to a chamomile tea instead. I also did some painting, did some exercise and spoke to my dad on the phone. We touched upon the positives of therapy in the conversation which was really helpful to me and I hope helpful to him given what we as a family have gone through over the past 6 years.
I carried on those practices again today but found myself really frustrated as I journeyed home tonight. This past 3 weeks I’ve had a really energy of impatience and annoyance at the world. I feel like everything is getting in my way and standing between me and the future. The cars on the road, the fact I have to rely on anyone and I can’t just move in to my new flat today all under my own steam. I also felt the bubbling frustration at the breakup of my family. It’s irrational but it’s how I felt. Towards the end of my journey home I chose to dig into those feelings a bit deeper and this is what I found:
I’m frustrated with myself for relapsing.
Deep down I’m frustrated with myself as I know that me and my addiction were part of the reason my ex and I broke up.
I’m frustrated with myself that I have wasted all those years with PMO and all that it’s cost me.
I’m frustrated that, as a 37 year old man I’m having to start again in life and learn the basics of emotional intelligence. Something I’ve never done.
But as I think about all this I realise I have come a long way from where I was. The fact I can look a little deeper on how I am feeling and reflect on this is something I wasn’t able to do even earlier this year. There would just be a big ball of feelings all jumbled up.
So I am pleased that I can identify how I am feeling.
I am grateful that soon I will have my own place.
I am looking forward to finding out exactly who I am and reconnect with myself.
I hope I can forgive myself for all that I feel shameful for.
Sorry for the long post. I needed to get this out and I feel better for it.
I hope you all have a great sober day.
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Thank you so much!!! i appreciate that!
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Trying to phase holidays out of my life but my family is not having it. Theyll just have to suck it up and deal like ive had to deal with these stupid consumerist holidays for 27 years. They should be happy to save money not buying me shit i dont want or need. Oh well…
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Oh well…
I totally agree with it. 
(not celebrating Thanksgiving here, but it’s the same about christmas to me… especially this year I have my own thoughts about all that.
So i will leave.)
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Morena. Yep day to.yesterday had same fleeting thoughts and still going thru them as soon as i awoke this mornimg. What part of nz r u in. Nice to meet other Nz in here
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Morena Megan, im based in Otautahi
Theres a couple of people ive come across so far from Aoteroa on here. Nice to meet you.
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