I do too! And lights tend to bother me at night, but the pitch black is creepy/ makes me anxious too
This was my view Thursday night driving through Kentucky in the storm. 
Edit to add. Iād rather not drive at night at all. Iām with you and @Twizzlers
day 97
Xmas day here, doing fine and still sober, felt like drinking a beer or two with my brother in law but didnt so just cruising through the rest of my day now.
Been a nice lunch with family today, looking forward to going home and putting my feet up.
Thanks, its been rough but at the same time
Good im still sober. Couldnt really bring myself down like that in the long run.
Same here brother
Checking in at the end of day 561. Dug out of the latest blizzard. Happy to be inside, warm and sober. Merry Christmas and a Happy Festivus for the rest of us! 
That sounds awesome!
Days
75 drug free
205 self harm free
39 eating daily (no restricting) I think Iāll be changing the timers name to that
Itās nearly midnight on Christmas Eve and I have a lot to still wrap. I am tired, since I have been up since 430 this morning, and this weekās many many hours of driving. I already have a hard time dealing with Christmas, as itās a not so awesome anniversaryā¦and I am feeling overwhelmed and alone in my home.
Once again, I am alone in sobriety. And things were happening around me. I donāt get cravings anymore, just bothered.
I have asked for help with wrapping gifts, but my partner said āI donāt know how toā and hasnāt even tried. He is playing video games and drinking now that his buddies left. And since heās not sober, he keeps texting me about off the wall crap, and itās irritating me.
He is helping by bringing the things i sort and wrap and label upstairs. And then going back to his game. Maybe I am being irrational and he isnāt deserving of my being annoyed with him, but itās where I am mentally right now.
I just want to go to sleep, but he wants me to stay up even later after I wrap presentsā¦
I just want to sleep until Christmas is over.
The only thing keeping me even halfway going is my kids. And how happy they will be tomorrow.
Edit to add: I know Christmas isnāt about what you get. But it is kinda 
knowing the only gifts I will get are from myself. I try so hard to help others and make them happy. But i feel like itās never the same energy returned to me. And Iām sad for that. Like Iām not good enough. Sorry for the pity partyā¦
Hello fam, just wanted to say hello and Merry Christmas @everyone. I havent been very active here lately been so sick but Iām feeling better. I just got home from a meeting been sleeping most the day. I did 2 meetings today I think Iām going to work some more on my step 2 right now. I think I will be going back out of town for work for a week again. That would be 3 weeks In a row with men that get loaded everyday after work. We stay in a house together and I stay strong in my recovery refusing what they offer me. Iām grateful my desire in those moments, and this moment is greater to stay clean than to be loaded. @KarenKW I hope you are doing well and feeling better. Thank you sober fam for youāre support since Iāve showed up here Iām blessed to have a choice today. I choose to stay clean and be present in this moment I pray you all do as well, Merry Christmas much love 
Youāre not alone in sobriety sis you have us we love you and you are good enough. I wonāt be opening presents but I got presents for my mom and her husband because I want to, I GET too. Itās ok to say how you feel a closed mouth donāt get fed. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for all youāre milestones itās so fuckin far from easy. One thing I try to remember is to give and expect nothing back. I know it must be a hard thing especially with a partner not showing the same love but in time things change. In this moment this is what youāre dealing with. From my understanding after some time in sobriety peoples realtionships change. Iām no one to say anything I donāt know youāre guys story but just remember to know you are worth it, you are loved, and you are not alone so happy you are here. Merry Christmas 
Merry Christmas 
Thank you
You are an amazing woman @Scorpn. Wrap those presents and get some sleep. You deserve some self love
Proud of you brother for saying no and keeping with the step work. @Jftself merry christmas right back at ya
Almost done. Only 3 Left to wrap. 
I think thatās a good idea. Itās about 12:30 and he just peeked his head in the room and said ādamn youāre STILL NOT DONE YET?ā
Haha. I will take myself to bed. And if heās high and drunk, thatās on him. I am sober and can go to sleep. Thatās the real present Iāll be getting this Christmas. My sobriety 
And what a beautiful gift that keeps giving
1296
Have as good a christmas day as you can all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam.
@Scorpn & @Jftself So happy the both of you are here. Weāre in this together. Feeling this more than ever this morning, getting ready for my early shift. First christmas Iām working the detox. X
Have a good day, Menno, your heart reaches farā¦ that was a very nice post earlier, thank youā¦ 
Im glad you are feeling better bro,
Stay strong out there! Thatbwas the exact situation I was in when I decided my decent back into drinking.
It just got to hard being around it all.
Ever need a yarn just fire me a message
Trigger warning - relaps
Day 0 - free from alcohol
Yes, I relapsed, after 150 and something days.
A day before 5 months Milestone. Drinking on 4 days since Tuesday, wanting more everyday. There it isā¦
Reasons were just wanting to treat myself, thinking i would be too young to stop with all drugs. And thinking I can handle it.
I said I will quit posting here for a while,
as I was a bit overwhelmed and didnāt feel good here anymore. But I need you and this place, so I hope you will take me back on board. 
Day 136 - free from toxic relationships
Day 47 - imperfect regular eating
Being drunk I was just a blink of an eye away from getting back in contact. He tried to call a few times last days. I even unblocked whatsapp. Thought i had been to hard and we had all this good deep talk and similar problems (addiction and mental health).
Eating habbits are fine until here, treating myself on holiday, but no over and undereating.
Peace 
