@KevinesKay congrats on 50 days 
@onthewagon31 congrats on 7 months enjoy Florida and the Golf 
@Jonachav123 congrats on 50 days
@VeeMaria welcome back 
congrats on 173 days
839 days no alcohol.
304 days no cocaine.
Feeling a bit sick after bingeing sweet things earlier. Looking forward to the I’m a Celeb final in a few hours, and getting back on track with my usual routine from tomorrow. Struggling for words today, a bit blah.
Checking in on day 20.
I am not completely sure on that. But for some reason tho i dont think u have to do. Steps 10-12 are maintenace steps. I Basically a daily inventory, for example, was i fearful or angry at any point today or do i owe an amend? etc (step 10), prayer and meditation to improve consciousness contact with ur HP (step 11), and then helping others and giving back (step 12). And theres many ways to do service work in and out of AA. Those u dont necesaarily need a sponsor for. Its good to have one tho for when u need them but im pretty sure u wouldnt have to go thru the entire set of steps again. Explain to ur new sponsor where ur at and then go from there, would be my suggestion. I hppe u find someone that u like and has the time to give
Day 149 AF
I haven’t checked in a several days…the holiday season keeps me pretty busy and occupied. Unfortunately, there’s no way I can go back and catch up on everybody’s posts.
Thanksgiving was different this year with my stepdad being gone. At one gathering, all I could think about was how long it will be before another family member passes away. I never do New Years resolutions, but I am going to make a point to spend more time with my family. I am extremely blessed with a huge family and we are very close. I’ve taken that for granted most of my life. They are my biggest support system and are ALWAYS there for me. It’s long overdue that I start appreciating them and returning the favor so to speak.
I’m working on Christmas trees today. One at my house, one at my boyfriend’s house. It’s a lot of work but I’m always comforted by the warm glow of a Christmas tree this time of year.
Hope everyone is hanging in there! I’m not going to drink today.
I went thru many sponsors. I didnt click with most of them to be honest. There were 2 woman i got along really well with and i wanted what they had. One woman, at that time, had like 50 something years of sobriety! And the other had 20+ years. Ive had sponsors closer to my age and ones that had a similar story to my own in the sense of DOCs and lifestyle and it wasnt a good fit. I needed someone who was older and had alot of clean time under their belt. And someone who had the time to give to sponsor me… cuz u know… im a handful haha.
I feel like there is a lot of pressure actually to sponsor people in recovery. As soon as i hit 1 year clean and did my steps, i got soooo pressured to start sponsoring. I went with it but it was tough bcuz i didnt have the time to truly give to my sponsees. I helped in other ways too and did service work in other ways (like speaking engagements or chairing mtgs in the rooms or in jails). I met up with them and we would go thru the Big Book but it probably wasnt as often as it should have been. I had to be honest and communicate that i wasnt at the point in my life where i was able to sponsor. And i wasnt available to chat at all hours if need be. So i asked my sponsors advice in what to do. Some people dont have the time but get pressured bcuz that is “what we do in 12 step meetings”. But like i said, there are many ways to be of service 
Im mentioning this bcuz some people who sponsor dont truly have the time. I dont know if this is what happened to ur current sponsor but she may be feeling overwhelmed and its not fair to u as her sponsee to not have that communication with her. Just a thought.
Day 120. A few days shy of 4 months.
To be free from the behaviors or habits that were dragging me down like an anchor is hard to describe. I feel like someone else in a lot of ways, is probably the best way to describe it.
Clarity. Lately, it comes a little at a time. I get the occasional flashback. They hit hard sometimes. In the flashbacks I see it. I can see the disease. I can the addictive behaviors, the coping mechanisms because I never learned healthy ways to self regulate my emotions. I see how none of it was helping me.
Slowly becoming unstuck and finding my true self is helping me find my path.
Day 57
Today I feel like I should’ve stayed in bed. Don’t know what’s wrong.
I ate a good and big meal, that helped a little. HALT is no joke. I’m still feeling lonely tho. I’m sure PMS joined in too, I hope tomorrow is a better day.
I did my stretching and tomorrow finally my therapy starts. Looking forward to that.
On Thursday I’ll have 2 appointments, the first one is a follow up to see how I’m doing and if I need one more week to recover (yes, I already know) and the second one is to see my Dentist 
I have some weird spots on my tongue that freak me out. Of course I asked Google. And Google says what it always says: Cancer. Yep, I’m stupid 
I think I know what I have there on my tongue, nothing serious. But annoying. And I’m asking myself if there might be a time in my life without any sickness? Is this my life now? Every other week something new?
That’s why I feel so down.
But I’m sober so all could be way worse 
Have a beautiful sober day friends 
Stay strong 
Day 23
Feeling much better then yesterday
I know it is one day at a time but a friend said I should imagine a life without substances. That helped me a lot
Long story short unlike my sobriety more then under the influence
If I don’t pick up today, I should be fine
Day 5
Another good day with my boy today. These days are really fun and the time flies. I’m aware that I struggle when he goes back to his mum and I am preparing myself mentally for it.
I have to remind myself to be in the moment. Practice the good activities I want to build into my routine and take everything one step at a time.
Only one brief thought of relapsing today and I quickly moved on from it. The latest thing I want to add into my list of good habits is box breathing (practicing whilst I am not anxious or stressed so it becomes easier for me in stressful situations). I am also trying to bring back cold showers as I find it helps to de-stress.
For me it’s about finding practical things in the day to day to help me.
I hope you all have a good sober day.
Was nice to see this when I woke up.
Despite everything the last year has thrown at me, the loss of 2 parents through health problems, the loss of 2 friends through suicide, loss of 3 pets, 3 weeks in hospital in intensive care following my airway collapsing and me nearly dying myself, I have somehow managed to use these things as reasons to stay sober rather than a reason to quit.
There are so many on here who have helped me when I was down and have been there for me.
@Twizzlers has been my constant and has sustained me throughout my journey. She truly is a diamond - I have so much love for her.
Thank you everyone. Knowing you are here helps!
You are all amazing. Keep fighting the fight.
This poem is for all of you!
Temptations Fight
Another day to fight the fight.
An enemy dwells, not in plain sight.
Get your armour on it’s about to start.
Temptations running through your mind soon come to steal your heart.
A battle that starts with sinful pride.
You must stand and face it, not run or hide.
Through fear, faith or anger you must always stand your ground.
One big hit, one slip, one blip could easily end this round
Arrows of temptation, firing at your head.
Raise your shield, block them out, better clean and sober than dirty and dead.
Be strong, firm and fearless as you approach this new encounter.
The scheming of your enemy flawed and retreats swiftly at a canter.
Wait, it’s not finished as it sneaks up on your back.
Your past leaving you vulnerable to this kind of attack.
This is your call to dig in and hold your ground.
A brother in arms is prepared to help you win through this next round.
Standing together a sure and powerful defence.
Temptation mounts a futile offence.
Where we were once weak and saw temptations barrier.
We now stand together, men and women as warriors.
We protect each other from temptations grip.
Pulling and lifting each other up when we feel we could slip.
My brother in arms did not see what was about to enter his day.
He was saved thanks to others loving eyes to watch over him and pray.
On we go, with this never ending fight.
Through the darkest days to brightest lights.
I send this to you all with hope, and pray.
You’ll spend with me another victorious day.
Sunday evening. I’m not tempted to drink at all, but I am really struggling with my anxiety. Trying to calm my breathing. But I feel close to full on panic. I was actually doing sort of okay most of the day. Evenings are always hard.
Can you go for a walk or do a meditation?
A walk is a good idea. Meditations when the anxiety is bad just end up frustrating me. I wish they helped.
Breathe deep and slow. I just looked up what to do, 
Close your eyes, think of your happy place, breathe, and tap your hands alternating on each leg
Wow. What a story of perseverance.
My hat is off to you, congratulations on 1 year!!
Congratulations!!! Super proud of you!!!
Amazing thanks so much for sharing your journey and big big congrats on 1 year that is not an easy feat, especially considering the external factors your were facing as well. Kudos my friend! Goodluck with your continued recovery.
