Thank you Eric! I know im not on here/dont post like i should be but sometimes i feel like the more im on here the more i think about drinking if that makes sense. Im at a point where i can be around friends and family drinking, go to gatherings at bars and none of it phases me at all but when i get on here it reminds me of how hard it was to stop in the beginning. I really hate it and wish i was doing more to give back to everyone that helped me and all the new members. I recently had a conversation with a co-worker that made mention of being 50 days sober and it felt great bc it seemed like the conversation really helped him. Neither of us knew we were both going through the same thing. Id like to get to that point on here more.
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At certain times in recovery you have to add to your toolkit to keep going. Hang in there.
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Day xxxxxxx
Super stoked, on my way to see W.A.S.P.
I been waiting forever for this moment, I got introduced into shock rock in my early teens and loved Wasp and Motley Crue just cause the music was awesome the show was even more awesome, my parents absolutely banned it from my house as it was Satans music and when I got older I was like Iâll go see them, of course lineup changes and hiatusâs happened Blackie Lawless became a born again Christian and was promoting his new work so I wasnât as interested last year they announced the 40th anniversary tour, that it would be classic WASP,
Something about going to see one of the people who where hugely inspiring on your own musician journey is purely bittersweet,
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I hope itâs a great night!
I havenât thought about this but youâre so right. What has worked the first few months may not be working anymore. Thank you for that heads up! Iâm gonna have to rethink my game plan.
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Love this piece of advice! Never really thougut about that but that makes sense
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Another check in. Man, I have been so moody lately what is the deal. Really short fuse and everything is getting on my nerves. Itâs not like me. I wonder if it is seasonal. I have not used my SAD lamp yet this year; maybe time to break it out. Itâs dark and snowing and the wind is howling out there. Grateful for a warm house, blankets and a working furnace.
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Absolutely could be the weather. Seasonal stuff effects my mood too. Do u find ur SAD lamp helps?
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Checking in on day 75 AF. I had a second interview for a new job within my company. Spent many, many hour preparing and when I had my interview I felt confident and I think it went very well. Whatever the outcome I know I put in 100%. Happy to have that stress behind me and waiting to hear the results. Hope everyone is having a great day !
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Hope u get the job! Sounds like it was probably an intense interview. When will u find out the results?
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Thank you! End of the week I will know. Fingers crossed 
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I feel like it does. Could just be placebo I guess. Iâll definitely break it out tomorrow morning.
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Day 269
I was late to work Monday but on time today. I havent been responsive to others as much lately.
I have felt very weird and like its best to not interact as much for reasons. But i dont want to take the risk of not checking in anywhere bc if i stop being intentionally sober and repeating that to myself, i Will use.
Cleaned for 15 min including vacuuming. I was very confused at first and was overwhelmed but even starting slow 15 min made a huge difference. Random trash thrown out, random laundry in bin, cat litter done.
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Days
50 no drugs
180 no self harm
13 eating daily
I woke up at 4 without my alarmâŚ
I went to work until 5
I went to the gym
My ex has decided to work on a house directly across the street from my house. 
I have a doctorâs appointment in the morning 
I feel very⌠hopeless and defeated today
Think i might turn in early tonight⌠Not sure
Edit to find better words
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Thank you!! 
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Checking in today with 65 days sober!!
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Checking in. Day 53
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Not been on here much lately, or Im in here reading everyday but not writing. Have no energy and every day is so hard to get trough. Feeling completly dead every morning, worse then when I go to bed at nigth, cant seem to get the rest I need.
Anyway, this is today
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You rock!! Youâre doing great!!
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Day 50. Feeling nifty.
Glad to be sober another day 
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