This is beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing 
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Day 151 AF
I have found myself in a liquor store parking lot twice now in the last 24 hours. Iāve had no triggers. So I have no clue where this is coming from. Iāve hit the rewind button and recalled what the outcome always is. That works for a while. But then Iām thinking about it again. This time of year is super difficult for me emotionally so Iāve guessing thatās all it is. My plan is to submerge myself in all things Christmas. Hopefully this passes soon.
I see a lot of other people struggling right now. I DO NOT want to go back to day 1. I just canāt. My entire life depends on me not drinking. To all of you struggling, I feel you. Iām staying sober for the next hour or 2. Iāll worry about the rest of todayās hours as they come.
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Checking in day 86! Itās my partners birthday- got out for a nice walk, did some shopping, and going to dinner later. So far itās been a good day!
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My go to hat to wear when I have a desire to use.
Just getting over the worst cold in the history of colds. And yes guys get sicker than girls. Itās a fact lol
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@Twizzlers Yay Iām so glad you made it ti the pool too 
Ive got the inhalator and some mint lozenges, but Im still craving like crazy when I get to 20+ hours 
@Kiks2 congrats on your week 
@Luke16 congrats on 3 weeks
@Drave congrats on 2 years 
@HBT congrats on your month
@JDHealing & @Joyce19 congrats both on your victories 
@Rockstar24777 congrats on 900 days
@MegaMeg welcome back
@KrispyMac belated congrats on 150+ days
841 days no alcohol.
306 days no cocaine.
There have been a lot of stressors today, which has made it really hard, and it still is really hard, but in a few minutes I will be at 1 full day without smoking. I donāt know if Iāll be adding another day this time tomorrow or not, Iām not confident at all bcuz the cravings are so intense. Iāve distracted myself by finishing all of my Xmas shopping, including cards and wrapping paper. Tomorrow I may wrap everything as another distraction. I have walked to the shopping centre and back 3 times today! My feet arenāt happy with me, but theyāll get over it.
Iām starting to feel the feelings I get around this time of year every year, and they arenāt pleasant. I relapsed on either the 14th or 15th of Dec last year on cocaine, and Iām still suffering the consequences, I definitely canāt have a repeat of that, itās not an option and I donāt want it bcuz I donāt want to die.
Tomorrow I have a phone appointment with my smoking cessation worker, I am going to ask if thereās anything else we can add NRT wise as I donāt think I should be craving this intensely with what Iām already using.
Iām already looking forward to Therapy on Thursday.
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Thank you Dana Iām proud of you too!!!
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I had a good visit with my doctor. He was encouraging. This was the first time I addressed my addiction with him. He prescribed a stronger NSAID for my headache. Unfortunately Iāve had no relief from the first dose 3 hours ago. And itās a once a day thing so wonāt take another dose til tomorrow. So thatās really discouraging. I donāt know how to get through the next week til the headaches start to improve. Itās been at migraine level all day. Took a nap midday because Iām just not functioning at work. That didnāt help either. I donāt feel strong enough to tough this out. I know drinking will just mean going through this at a later date. But the scales tip toward needing relief now. I have therapy Friday and trying to hold on til then so i donāt have to admit to slipping. Send strength!
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Sending strength Karen. 
I never had headaches as a withdrawal symptom but I did get several sessions of detox acupuncture which I feel helped me with other symptoms.
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That sounds intriguing. I may have to look into that!
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Checking in
Day 289
Thought id come on and do a check in. Today has been good overall. Slept in until 7am so didnt do a workout. Got a good start on my dreamcatcher and then began working on my unicorn cake topper for this weeks Icing Smiles cake. Im not a sculpter by any means, so this was a bit tricky. Im having the unicorn coming out the top of the cake (as if it ate its way thru). It will look so cute!
I finally feel like Im sort of out of the funk i was in. My patience has returned, im kinder to myself and everyone else. I feel more like myself. I prayed hard to my HP last night bcuz i did feel like i needed help to get myself back. I realized that i have an issue with wanting to control situations in my life. This creates alot of worry and anxiety and me. Im not so much wanting to control people (except for those that walk too slow in front of me lol), but more just wanting to control my everyday events. I am the cause of the majority of my problems today! And its bcuz i try to control things, that are literally out of my control in the first place. So the best thing to do for me, is to let go of that control and instead have full faith and trust in my HP, knowing that my HP has my back and wont steer me wrong. I think that renewed faith in my HP and the gratitude that I have for everything my HP has done for me, has shifted my thinking. I am so grateful 
On another note, my eating has been off. Im not eating too much mainly bcuz i dont have an appetite and certain textures are now grossing me out. Its strange bcuz im a foodie lol but not super concerned about that yet. Im sure it will go back to normal. I am noticing some weird old thoughts surrounding not eating much tho, so will just need to keep an eye on that.
Overall i am happy today. My son also got his surgery day bumped up to early Dec!!! Im so excited about 1 procedure being done especially (his ivad port removal). Im experiencing the same feelings as when he completed chemotherapy a year ago. Im nervous but excited and grateful all at once! Now just need to keep him healthy so this procedure can get done!
Hope everyone is having an addiction free day!
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Thatās a really positive check in @Butterflymoonwoman. I also feel the need to control situations and itās really tough to get out of that mindset sometimes. Well done for taking the time for yourself and doing the self care to help shift your mood.
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Day 7
Back to a week which is positive. Iām really tired today and Iāve felt the pull of my addiction today. Iāve not really stopped in the last few days and this is often when I fall down, when I donāt let myself rest. So tonight is an early night for me.
I also tried to do some more packing tonight ready for my move on Monday. I quickly realised there is very little left to pack as I have been living out of boxes for months!
Iām also adding to my daily basics. I am now:
Drinking less caffeine
Getting out for a walk each day (though the last couple of days itās been a very short walk!)
Practicing my box breathing
Having a cold shower each day.
All of which are helping. The next big step is to take small breaks and not feel guilty about it. Life is going to be super busy for the next week and a half and I need to give myself the space and rest to really be at my best for the move and for a big trip this weekend.
I hope you all have a good sober day.
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Checking in on day 3.
Not much to say todayā¦ā¦ Still not back to normal, but WAY better than I have been the last couple of days. Feeling some glimmers of hope and positivity on the horizon. 
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I did just get this:
So thatās something. And my headache has eased a little. Still bad but more manageable. Feeling a little better about getting through the evening sober.
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Day 18
Feeling a little scared how easy itās been since my last craving. I havenāt had any cravings and nothing has phased me or made me even think of drinking. But for now Iāll just take it day by day and try not to worry. I tend to self sabotage when things are going so well.
But Iām feeling so happy, my boyfriend has been so sweet to me lately.
Hope everyone is having a great day. Stay strong! Donāt let a bad day knock you down.
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Thank you so much! I eventually take the time to figure things out bcu i get so sick and tired of being this way. I hate being in funks. I really do lol
Congratulations though on ur 1 week!!! Really proud of you for taking the time to set up new daily activities while also working hard on ur recovery. I see the effort ur putting in!
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I like it
Congratulations on 5 days!!! So glad to hear ur headaches are easing up!
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