Hello friends, checking in on day 537. Busy work week. Happy to take some quiet time to read and catch up here. Hope everyone is doing well today.
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Holy bleeeep!
I need to do this.
So proud of you Renee!
I havenāt been super active on here because quiet honestly my phone gives me anxiety but Iām rooting for you and you inspire me every day. 
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Juli il be on here over xmas time and new year so you have me and all of us here to help take your mind off of it.
The past 2 years i didnt celebrate. I realised thats for some its an enjoyable time of year but also for alot of people its very sad time of year.
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i am so happy that weāre here together on our 51st day clean! You inspire me to keep going too 
Iām so proud of you! And congratulations on the new job too 
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Same for me! Christmas is a trauma anniversary for me. And i avoid it like the plague (unless of course itās something Christmas-y for my kids)
Iām sure Iāll be avoiding Christmas by checking in here 10000 times that day.
We will have a little pow-wow. You, me, and @Twizzlers .
And anyone else who wants to virtually hang out with us that day
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100% will be here with you
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Day 38 no booze no drugs
Its been a good couple of days i guess.
I moved from a crappy shelter into a smaller more āfreeā shelter. Can pretty much come and go as i please. I dont get kicked out after 7am like the last shelter, which is good since its cold af and i also dont have to sit in the day shelter waiting to go to work anymore. Which is awesome since i dont have to deal with the nutcases anymore, and it was really easy to score drugs there.
I have a new house navigator/case worker and sheās waaaay more helpful than my previous one.
I can now sleep in. I havent slept in, in about 6 months. I tried to sleep in since i moved in 2 days ago, but i still wake up early. Maybe tomorrow my brain will let me sleep past 7am.
I now have a fridge, which i stocked with healthy foods, no more excuses to mess up my diet anymore.
I had a interview at a job i really want at a nursing home cooking for 40 residents 2 days ago.
I got a call today and they made a offer which i accepted. Starting on the 11th.
So yeah, its been a good 48 hours. 
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Fuckin A man this makes my night. Inspiring. Congratulations to you man. I know a couple who got clean living out there car, went to a shelter, and now have a house with there baby all in a year. Keep on doing what youāre doing 
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Congratulations on your new job 
Things are falling into place this is nice to hear, its also nice you can be more settled in your living situation im so proud of you. Congratulations also on your 38 
days 
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Nothing wrong with naps you earned it
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CONGRATULATIONS!!! Thatās awesome news to hear you found a new job! I am so happy for you! I know you were ready to leave your last job. And great job on 38 days too! It must have been difficult to resist when you were at the last place. Iām glad you found better arrangements 
youāre doing so great!
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Hey! Thatās awesome. Really happy that things continue to improve.
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tonight will be day 274 of no self harm
my grandpa got put in the hospital today. he has COVID. his breathing is fine but he is very confused and canāt get out of bed. my aunt found him on the couch ready to take out the trash, coat on, flashlight and trash bag in hand. apparently he fell asleep or passed out or something. thank God he didnāt pass out outside in the middle of the night because itās freezing.
he doesnāt remember anything past dinner last night and he didnāt recognize his own daughter.
so angry at my family. when my aunt found him delirious, my mom said to call 911. my aunt (WHO USED TO BE A NURSE) insisted we wait till her husband sees him. my mom called my dad who called 911. because he has COVID only 2 people can see him in a 24 hour period. and my mom and aunt are refusing to let anyone else see him but them. we donāt know how long heāll be in hospital but theyāve already planned to be there everyday he is in hospital. even though he is 82 (83 on Christmas eve) and this could get so bad. heās been sick on and off since Christmas of last year. it could be bad.
especially angry at my mom because when my grandma was dying, she told everyone but me. she lied to my face. she didnāt even let me look at the open casket at the funeral. i never got closure and she forever broke my trust. even if I was 10. i donāt believe her with anything medical and I get incredibly paranoid when someone even has a cold that they may die. i made her promise to keep me up to date even while I was at work with my grandpa. she found out he had COVID at 3pm. i only heard it from my dad when I left work at 6:30 pm even though I told her I had permission to keep my phone on me.
if my grandpa dies I donāt know how to live. Heās the only person I have in real life who cares for me. and heās the only decent family I have. i canāt sleep I canāt eat. heās my everything. i took Thursday and Friday off work because I canāt deal with these feelings while teaching.
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Omg! I hope you are in the mend. That sounds terrible.
Iām so sorry. What a terrible situation! Stay strong for your grandpa. I hope he heals quickly and you get to see him soon
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thank youā¤ļø
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Hi 
Im so sorry to hear about your grandpa.
He wouldnt want you to be worrying he needs you to be strong okay no mater what happens you must stay strong for him.
Im thinking of you very much and im here for you Megan
Its 5:30am here and i havent managed to sleep yet but seen your message and didnt want to say nothing no matter how sleepy i am i want you to know im here, we are all here for you.
Stay strong, you must okay its important that you keep taking care of yourself, your grandpa wont like to know him becoming unwell made you unwell too. He has seen how far you have come so you stay strong my friend please
And if you feel too overwhelmed make sure you let us know here okay so we can stay with you. I know its only virtually but we care bout you so much.
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thank you so muchā¤ļø youāre always so supportive, I hope you get to sleep soon I appreciate you taking the time to respond. i will keep you all posted
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Day 410 AF
Nothing much going on.
Wake up. Repeat.
Still sober. Still fighting the good fight.
Have a goodnight gang!
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Back to day 1. Yesterday nothing really happened, no excuses.
Back on the track.
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