My last remaining grandparent died a week before I stopped drinking. That was what kicked off my last few days of really heavy drinking. 2+ years later and I haven’t regretted my decision to stop drinking one single time. You got this 
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Today is my husband’s birthday. He made alternate plans to hang out with a friend because I wasn’t consistently reliable on his past birthdays. I’m sad to say on some of his birthdays I disappeared to go out with friends, others I was too hung over to think about him.
This year we’ve already put up the Christmas tree, opened gifts and I baked him a blueberry cobbler. I’m here, I’m sober and I’m present. I am in control of my emotions. Today the word that I think of when I think of sober is steady. I’m inching up on 300 days…
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@Luna2022 belated happy sober birthday! 
@Cjp sorry for the mehs, I hope today has felt better 
@Thirdmonkey congrats on 2+ months tobacco free 
@Scorpn congrats on 2 months substance free
@GOKU2019 sorry about the dream, I hope it’s a while before another one like that, seems our subconscious takes a while to sort and filter through our memories. Sending strength
@Private50 congrats on 2 years 
@Misokatsu I’m so sorry about your husband’s family not including you on the invite, that is definitely upsetting and as Mno said, unkind to say the least. I hope you can get started on another medication once you’re off the current one 
@Hayleylujah congrats on 6 months and your other achievements
@residentevil welcome back 
sorry for your loss 
853 days no alcohol.
318 days no cocaine.
7 days no cigarillos (I’m vaping instead atm, which I believe is preferable and I have bought lower nicotine strength liquids and some 0mg to taper back off again over the next couple of weeks)
Went for an ice cold and frosty early morning walk this morning, I don’t know what motivated me, I just really felt like getting outside and moving, so I went with it and it was enjoyable.
My binge-eating episode today was worse than usual, hoping to start over again tomorrow. It goes against my goals and a lot of the stuff I eat sometimes is not healthy for people with diabetes. Despite being acutely aware of this, it persists, my therapist said it will take much more time with another therapist, so I try to remember that and remain hopeful.
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So it’s customary to not include you because, why? Because you’re not Japanese?
I personally would be majorly hurt and pissy about it. I think hubby should say something.
I don’t want to offend anyone but you’re just as much part of the family. You gave them 2 kids, fgs.
I apologize if I’m out of line.
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20 day milstone completed !!
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Wow how amazing is this! Congratulations on 6 months!!! Really proud of you and your accomplishments 
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Congratulations on 20 days!!! 
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Day 37
Woke up with extremely bad anxiety but I felt better earlier
The anxiety was so bad I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t be awake, I just sat there in fire wishing for a joint
My only concern is eggnog and pie. People are in a much more difficult place.
Remember
Poor me
Poor me
Pour me another drink
I remember when my dad was financially fighting for his life. He made it through but those days are clear in my mind
He took cold showers just so me and his kids had a warm shower
I was scared for him but didn’t know how to show it. His strength impressed me so much.
Now things are different
he has a amazing wife and all his kids including me are doing amazing and he fixed the issues
He tought me never to give up.
This post is messy but please never give up.
It gets better if you don’t give up
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Hey all today marks my first day as a Patron. If anybody else would like to make a small monthly contribution to keeping this place up and running AND get a patron title next to your avatar. Check this thread out
I was not paid for this endorsement but have an immense gratitude for this forum for contributing to my sobriety and so many others
Peace sober buddies!
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I don’t know much about the culture there but I do know that it’s bullshit move anywhere in the universe. I’m sorry… hugs and love to you.
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So pleased for you, warms my heart to see this and proves once again that miracles really do happen 
You deserve this.
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Exactly 
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142 days free from alcohol
123 days free from toxic relationships
33 days imperfect regular eating
Latenight checkin, very tired.
Cravings are still coming up everyday atm, still have to reflect what’s going on there.
Yesterday, I was so short away to responding to my ex toxic relationship, who still trys to contact me. But I didn’t.
Eating thing is okay. Not judging myself. Burned around 5000cal by sport this week 
Still dancing on the wire rope.
I just figured out, if I am not that regulated at all or in emotional trouble, eating thing is getting worse. Feels like I want to fix something by overcontrolling.
Perspective:
I will just calm down everything now…
It’s holiday and Tuesday nite i will drive to the airport…
Not focusing on this thing with guys and dating anymore for the next week’s,
and not doing restrictions in eating.
Just joyning special local food,
Just joyning active lifestyle, sea, air, nature
Just joyning myself, sun, napping, resting
And… Just joyning some void,
that @Mno once mentioned.
And step on the path!
Path on this new sober life! 
Hugs 
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This is very hurtful and I’m very sorry. You are a very nice person. Y’all are a family. And you’re being excluded. It’s your children. It’s your husband. It’s your family. Maybe he should go and leave the children with you. And you and the children can do something special on your own. I’m sorry, this is not good or right.
And then it’s made worse because you’re tapering off the medicine.
I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry this is happening like this, it’s not fair to you. Big hugs and lots of love. At this point it’s the way that it is and I hope that you can find something that will give you joy instead of being super upset about it which you certainly have a right to be. I would ask him, demand, that he just leave the children at home . Or you come over here where I am, you’re invited over here! My home is open to you anytime.
Hugs.
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Found this song and thought it might help some of you as well. 
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Thank you Paul! I really appreiate you saying that my friend
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I’ll do it!
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Congrats on your 63 days! My parents have smoked since they were teenagers. I hear my dad coughing in the morning and it makes me sad that he can’t stop poisoning himself. You are doing your future self a huge favour. Not today, nicotine, not today.
On a side note, I almost stopped dead in my tracks at work today. I saw a man who looked very much like you and my head went “what’s Thirdmonkey doing HERE??” LOL. Took me a moment to regroup and continue work LOL
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Changing meds sucks. I hope you come off with ease and find a suitable one. Good that they caught that calcification tho!
You know, excluding you from a family celebration doesn’t tell much about you but speaks volumes about your bil and their family. It’s beyond rude not to invite you. I don’t know much about Japanese culture nor your family dynamics but it seems it’s important to keep up appearances. If it has to do with your drinking in the past, I hope they’d be able to let it go and see how far you’ve come and how hard you’ve worked for it.
I’d spend New year’s with you
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@Mno @anon74766472 @CATMANCAM @DLS @Dan531 @Alisa @Olivia
Thanks so much for the sympathy. Logically I can understand it, the house is small, probably not enough bedding for 4 more people. If they had said ‘come for dinner, but then just husband and kids stay’ I would have to cycle home in the cold. That couple do not get on and often just the husband does something with the kids, or just the wife. So maybe for them it is natural. And there is usually a bigger gathering of all siblings at parents in law house that I will go to later next year. I have never been drunk at a family gathering, prefered my lonely drinking in front of the computer, although the sisters know a bit of what went on as husband talked to them. Anyway, have messaged a friend who does not have a Japanese husband so is not going to be busy doing New Years stuff, and hopefully we can get dinne/drinks. We used to get drunk together lots, she is a normie, I just encouraged her, and I have not told her about my sobriety. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, quite literally, as that will be what I am drinking this time.
@Trustybird I am sure in the future as he trusts you more you can have birthdays together. Blueberry cobbler sounds yum.
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