You’re awesome!!
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I know its going to get better from here. I did 3 months over summer last year and it was so worth it, incredibly sad i throught i could “drink responsibly” after that. Once a pickle you cant change back
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Glad your hubby is feeling better!
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Day 263
Still sober. Purring cat.
Deep cleaned a fridge today and it was satisfying. Tbh this kitchen has a bunch of gross areas. and when its slow I pick one little spot to deep clean. My coworker appreciated it and I had all the good cleaning supplies.
4 day weekend. Body hurts. Mind hurts. Spirit hurts.
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That’s a hell of a set up!
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I 100% understand and relate to this
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Im glad im not the only one that can relate. I guess it sort of hit me reading that, that ive always sort of “labeled” myself as something that needed fixing. Always in healing mode. Im more than that lol at least i am beginning to see that now
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Days
44 sober
174 no self harm
7 regularish eating
Today has been rough.
I worked with a swollen eye for 9 hours
Went to urgent care for it and spent a collective 5 hours waiting to be seen
Got a prescription for eye drops that were discontinued, had to go back and get a new prescription
Came home and all hell broke loose with all the kids and my partner melting down…
And now I’m only 5.5 hours from having to get up and do it again. (Working)
Today has been overwhelming.
But tomorrow is a new day. I’m hoping it’s a better one than today.
Have a beautiful night y’all. Sending out lots of love to each of you on your journeys 
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Checking in day 136 AF. Its a new moon and thats my favorite energy so im vibing with that tonight 
You are all amazing
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Checking in on day 69. This is a very long and stressful week for me. I’m about to go to a work function after working all day. One more day of working late and I’m home free.
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Day 847
Internet is finally fixed today and I’m back to work tomorrow. Hopefully with the holiday it will be calm and quiet because I really just don’t have the emotional bandwidth for anymore bs this week.
My ex came by this afternoon…I heard a vehicle pulling out of the driveway next door at my aunt and uncles and recognizing the ticking sound of his old truck. Looked out to see him driving down the road. My dad came in a moment later with a chocolate pie of some kind that my ex dropped by for my dad and uncle to split. And the ex then posted all up on IG about 3 different pies and how “it’s not the holidays without pie” blah blah blah eye roll - sorry I’m feeling petty 
but he always hated holidays and had never been a social media poster. It all feels like some display. I’ve tried to remain friendly and civil - I have never been one for deleting and blocking but this may be an exception. It’s all too reminiscent of my mum and her manipulating and maybe it’s because he’s been hanging around her so much or maybe I’m projecting but I’m triggered as all heck by it.
I’m okay really though I just needed to rant. I had a really sloppy run today after hearing the truck and I loved it. Good endorphins and all that good stuff. Working on some different paced intervals that are longer and faster than what my knee felt possible a few weeks ago. Trusting my training even though it feels like slow progress but I am starting to see the changes. 
Sending lots of love and strength to you all going into the holiday gatherings 
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Good family
Checking in to a beautiful morning
Focusing on a wonderful day
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I don’t know. I think in this case we live in an unprecedented situation. Some 20 years ago you split up and if your ways didn’t cross by friends or work the chances of seeing each other each day were less. So why not doing some self-care and keeping it to when he is in your neighborhood only. 
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Awesome keep it up
Spending time with children can be a extremely rewarding time in our lives
I’m thinking about asking my boss for a raise another time again. Can’t accept it that way. He’s stingy and unfair. I try not to take it personally.
Speaking of stinginess, my boyfriend is the sweetest person, I love him very much.
But he is also extremely stingy.
And I really don’t like it. This is the only reason, why I could leave. Both of them.
I am mad. I can feel it.
Instead of drinking these feelings away, I do…what?
I have no clue.
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saw your repose to my check in but the thread was full. I have blinds but my feet are close to the window so if they are all the way down I kick them in my sleep and wake myself up. I may put a pillow there or something since I can’t move my bed. there’s been a lot of trauma in my life but nothing similar to being watched or spied on
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day 267 of no self harm
because of Thanksgiving I am off of work tomorrow and Friday which means I have a 4-day weekend. I will have to spend a good portion of that lesson planning I’m going to try to plan the entire month of December that way I’m not rushing again to get them done. I ordered some pizza Tuesday so I’ve been eating a little bit better the last 2 days but I ate all the pizza so I’m back to my typical eating habits.
I am dreading tomorrow since it’s Thanksgiving. it means lots of stress with cooking, and being around my entire family for a very long time. I also struggle with it since it is a food related holiday and I most likely have
an eating disorder. part of my eating disorder is that I am extremely selective and I eat like a toddler because I was such a picky eater growing up and my parents never bothered to get me to try new foods. when they did try to get me to try new foods it was a very awful experience and lots of screaming and potential violence if I would not try them. so now I’m terrified of trying any new foods. I do not eat anything that we have at Thanksgiving I’ve never had turkey I’ve never had a mashed potatoes most foods I have never tried and I am too scared to try. my family obviously knows this because it’s not something I can really hide from them, but I still feel judgment every year. they don’t have to say anything I can just feel it. I’m thinking I’ll bring my iPad and keyboard and just spend the Thanksgiving dinner lesson planning so I’m not hyper focused on all of the food around me.
something positive: my dog stopped sleeping in my bedroom about a month ago because she would get in my bed, which is a twin size mattress so then both of us were incredibly tired and she is a big dog. now she now sleeps in my parents room and we both sleep better for it however I do feel like I have missed a lot of quality time with her. today she hopped in my bed for a little while while I was playing some games and she wanted to cuddle it was a very nice moment
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