Day 16. I am starting to feel a bit more balanced. Mood swings are still there, but the frequency decreases somewhat. Of course, the depth of the mood low is no longer so dark and abysmal.
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Congratulations on this milestone 
And oh that tooth thing sounds awful and painful 
Get well soon 
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Checking in for the momentā¦
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Morning Check In
Day 283
Morning TS! Hope everyone is enjoyong their day/night!
Today i woke up for a 530am workout and spent the morning fnishing up a cross stitch project that is a gift for my mom for xmas. Its not bad for my 1st one 
Spent some time this morning with my HP. Just needed to ground and connect. Its important that my foundation of recovery is strong each day. I do find that when i dont do my routine in the mornings, my days are twice as hard lol
My son and I still seem okay health wise. My husband seems to be not bad. He said he doesnt feel as bad anyway. He went to work so i guess thats a good sign. Im still waiting to hear back from scheduling about tonights nurse. No response yet. I hope they have someone for tonight. That would be great! Not much else going just yet. I have to take my boy for an xray after his feed in about 1 hour. Then home to relax.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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Day 1 -
Iāve gone back to basics today. Nothing too fancy. Iāve talked with people at work about the current stresses, which helped. I focused on what I needed to do today and nothing else. I also stopped listening to podcasts at work. Which may sound strange but only having one input into my mind at a time helps to keep it calm. Iāve also reset the thing on my phone to make it go greyscale at 9pm. So I have some proper time to wind down. Iāve also cut down on my caffeine intake to two cups a day.
The place where I got to was one of constant mental activity. My mind was constantly racing and anxious and stressed about the next thing, then the next thing and then the next thing. After a couple of busy weeks between visits to family and friends, social commitments, work, moving house. It all got too much. I couldnāt stop and wind down. My anxiety was pinging off the scale. It was like I had too many emotions that I couldnāt cope with.
In the short term my focus is on today and re-establishing the good routines and things I know have worked in the past.
In the medium term Iām going to to be moving house in just under two weeks. So I am going to get myself established in my own place. Once there I am going to restart swimming regularly as it is fantastic for my mental health and I have missed it.
In the long term (next year) I am going to find a therapist and start to work on the things that have brought me to where I am. Therapy has worked before for me for other aspects of my life. So I need to take the step to tackling this aspect.
But thatās for another day. Tonight I am going to check in here and then either do some reading or paint or both.
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I have read Easy Peasy. A lot of it really made sense and Iām building it into how I deal with my addiction.
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Huge congrats, 60 days is fantastic 
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@Clarity feel better soon 
@My_Saving_Grace welcome 
congrats on 4+ months 
@Staringupfromthewell sorry to hear, sending strength 
@Bomdhil feel better soon
@Freebird13 welcome congrats on double digits
@Butterflymoonwoman really hoping you and your boy donāt get sick
@TryingJoy congrats on your week
@JP123 sending strength
@Juli1 sending strength donāt leave the door open for the toxic men, you blocked them for a reason.
@MooseTracks congrats on 80 days
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@DryIn785 congratulations 
hope it goes well for you 
@Twizzlers hope you sleep well tonight 
@kamj yikes! Bless you. Hope it heals well and isnāt too soreš¤š»
@Cp25 congrats on 60 days
835 days no alcohol.
300 days no cocaine.
I made it out for a swim today 
I had the slow lane to myself until the last 5mins so that helped with the anxiety I get when itās busier. The changing room experience doesnāt get any easier, but it is what it is.
It has been 4.5hrs since I smoked my last cigarillo, Iām really hoping that demon doesnāt keep me awake all night until I give in to it again 
I am craving sweets, but I donāt want to give in to that either. I donāt know why Iām craving them, Iāve never been much into sweets.
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Keep up all the hard work, youāre killin it friend 
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Thatās great. And itās a good idea to seek counseling. Especially since itās helped you before.
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Checking in. Day 47
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Youāre awesome!!!
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Done with work for the day and off tomorrow for thanksgiving. Suffering through major cravings right now. But I know how bad that would be for me and I donāt want to start over. This just fucking sucks. Trying to take care of HALT triggers. Iām stuck on anxious (my A instead of angry) and lonely. Iām spending thanksgiving by myself at home. Iām telling everyone that Iām happy to have a quiet day off to myself, but honestly it sucks. My family all lives far away and I donāt have a lot of friends. I will get to see my family at Christmas so trying to focus on that.
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Day 15 
Woke up and did a quick little 15km cycle in the sun. Feeling fit and my tan is coming along 
Got a call out of the blue to attend an interview for a job that will set me up more than I could ever have hoped. Taking the interview tomorrow after my regular job so please think good thoughts 
Went to work which was mayhem. Stressfull to the max but I got out in one piece 
Sending positive energy and strength to you all
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Congrats on 60 days! Thats huge!! Keep it up
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Day 3 still here it has felt longer but i am finally out of the hell of withdrawal 
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The first few days were the toughest for me. Iām glad youāve made it through to the other side of withdrawal. You got this! Congrats on day 3!!
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Evening Check In
Day 283
Managed to get alot accomplished today. My sons xray is done, did my nails, made some phone calls and wrote some emails. Thankfully our full time nurse is picking up an extra shift tonight so we have coverage. A fb memory came up today for me and it had me reflecting on it a bit:
What do u all think of this? I feel like this is something i can really relate to and maybe something I could work on. Even though i went to treatment as a youth, i dont really feel like i began healing until i was 21 when i really put in an effort to get clean. But i feel like from 21-38 i have always been healingā¦ like always working on something, always doing the inner work, challenging my thinking, making changes, always seeking help for something. I used to call myself Beautifully Broken bcuz i was one of those people that was sooo broken from my past that the label i threw on myself was one of constant healing. I truly did think i was someone that needed fixing. I realize the healing probably never ends, but where does that label end, and when does our life begins outside of āhealingā? Just made me think 
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