Checking in daily to maintain focus #51

Hey everyone. Celebrating the new year with the half way house tonight, well kind of celebrate I probably won’t stay up that late. Also hitting 7 months today which feels nice.hope everyone has a happy sober new year. Much love

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Happy 7 months @anon53116147 so proud of you man

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Congratulations on your 7 months Mike.
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Super happy for ya.
Happy New Year :balloon:

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Days
82 substance free
211 self harm free
45 not restricting food

TW: SH :warning::warning:

The final day of 2022.
This year I got clean, spent most of the year self harm free, and decided to stop hurting myself with food (or lack thereof)

I have no desire to get high. I did have a passing thought of I’m not worth sobriety. But it went quickly. Because it’s not for me that i am sober. It is for my kids. Who i love dearly. They are worth it. They are my reason to keep going.

I have been very deeply struggling with self harm thoughts. Even as far as to decide which types of instruments to use. And where to do it so i am not found out…
I was thinking serrated so as not to go too deep, because with how I’ve been feeling, i could go too far and not be here anymore.
My kids are my reason to stay. If i die they won’t have anyone.

Punishing myself with food, has happened some recently. As i wasn’t restricting, but eating unhealthy foods. Because I’m not worth healthy meals…

My thinking has been really in the depths recently…
Going to try to focus on good. So i can get myself out of this funk…

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Checking on day 48. Happy New Years Eve everyone, enjoy ringing in the New Year sober!

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Checking in on day 84. Happy new year everyone!
I’ll be ringing in the new year surrounded by people who are drinking. But not me! Sparkling water and soda for me. I’m proud of myself.
I DON’T NEED TO DRINK TONIGHT!

We can do this! Together!

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@Juli1 enjoy your last days in the Atlantic! How glorious and fresh that must be :grinning: a ritual sounds good, reflecting, planning, also good, it’s the doing I find myself struggling with. Lack of dopamine and motivation. I really am hoping to push through the other side of my mental blocks. How many days of holiday do you have left?
@Jasty2 congrats on 2 weeks :tada:
@DryIn785 congrats re housing :tada: it sucks when we can’t do the things we used to. I hope you’re able to find something new to love :crossed_fingers:t2::blush:
@Alycia congrats on 9 months :tada: sending strength :blue_heart:
@ifs I’m sorry for what you’re going through, it’s reassuring that you can still see some positives. I’m glad you’re here, I know it really helps me feel not so alone, I hope it helps you too. Sending strength :blue_heart:
@Scorpn :people_hugging: back, sending strength :blue_heart:
@Minatasha congrats on 300 days :tada:
@adeygaga49 congrats on 2 years :tada::trophy::star2::star2:
@anon53116147 congrats on 7 months :tada:

873 days no alcohol.
338 days no cocaine.
184 days no sex.
106 days no takeaways.
27 days no cigarillos.
9 days NRT nicotine only (0mg liquid in my vape which I will have finished tomorrow early morning).

NYE. Reflecting on the desperate state I was in this time last year amidst my relapse. I’ve came a long way, even when it’s felt like 10 steps forward and 9 backwards at times, I always persevere and I never stop trying. I’m terrified of eventually weening completely off the NRT prescription products, as other than the bingeing, which as usual, I feel quite strongly that I don’t want to binge anymore, it’s my current 2 addictions I’m still in the process of quitting, and what scares me is that without them, my addict may try to resurface with other ones. I know it can happen, like wack-a-mole! I think it would just be thoughts, though, that I could bring here, for you all to agree with me, or remind me if necessary, that it’s all my addict’s lies.

Anyway, here’s to more progress next year, for all of us :sparkles::pray:t2::muscle:t3::crossed_fingers:t2::four_leaf_clover::partying_face:

:blue_heart:

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Thanks Cam, hope you have a great New Year. And yes it’s all your addicts lies. :v:

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Hello fam. I’m back home for the weekend from work feeling a little sick, but I’m still clean day 44 :pray: I just came back from a quick trip out of town with my sponsor to check out a store dedicated to N.A. & A.A. that I’ve never been to before. It was pretty cool got myself some literature “Living Clean the journey continues” and multi book cover for my “basic text” & “it works how and why” with a pretty awesome coin with a guardian angel that says in the back “guardian angel by my side to light and guard to rule and guide”. Soon I will get a multi book cover for my “Big book” & “12 steps and 12 Traditions”. I will going to a meeting tonight to be with my peeps and celebrate a couple birthdays. Everything is good in this moment, and I’m grateful for that. I hope everyone has a blessed day in recovery, and safe new year much love :pray::blue_heart:

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That’s awesome Mike, congrats on 7 months! Proud of you man.

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I’m not ready for new years. it’s the anniversary of the beginning of my years of SA and fireworks are a massive trigger but I can’t wear headphones over both bears because I’m too scared to miss something important happening.

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Thank you so much and happy new year to you Kevin

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Day 1518.

Today’s been much better than yesterday. Not much in the way of events, just thoughts.

Been thinking about how to reduce the amount of isolation I experience. I keep withdrawing from people when I get stressed or overwhelmed or when I just don’t know how to relate. It’s gotten to the point now where I haven’t even turned on my phone in almost a year. Don’t have a phone plan at this point. I don’t work outside the home, I don’t go out. I might complain about being lonely, but these days it’s my own damn fault. I don’t really know exactly how to go about fixing this, but I know it’s important.

See, I got sober because I wanted to live, and because I wanted to be healthy (besides a million other things). So now that I am sober, why would I stop working towards a healthy life? It makes no sense. Just stopping drinking was only part of the job — the rest of recovery, building a new life without drinking — I’m still figuring out how to do this well. I’m not great at it. I’m hoping that being back here on TS will help me learn some more from others in the same boat.

For today, I’m going to start with charging and turning on the damn phone. Why’s it gotta be so intimidating? It can’t do anything to me without service anyways… :see_no_evil:

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Checking in day 118, and happy New Year’s Eve! I got out for a walk, did some shopping, and had a good lunch. Home now and had some seltzer water while watching TV, and off to bed soon. Sending you all so much positive energy that you lay your heads down sober with me tonight. One day at a time, and today is just a day- you can do this! See you all in the morning :slight_smile:

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Day 1640.

In bed after another sober New Year’s Eve fully ready for whatever 2023 has to throw at me. Fireworks and loud voices have been drowned out by the wind and rain. Call it higher power, call it shit weather. I’ll take it right now :heart:

Make the next 24 the best you can. Always make sure the next decision is the right one :pray:

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Day 301

Still sober. So physically fatigued.

Good night and happy new year

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Day 326 no alcohol

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:first_quarter_moon_with_face: Evening Check In :first_quarter_moon_with_face:
Day 321
Happy Clean and Sober New Year’s eve everyone! Hope everyone is managing through this time of year okay. Its been a quiet evening here at home. Work was awful. My client AWOLed 15 min before the end of my shift. It was hectic and the situation was just not good. I ended up get “scolded” over not being arms distance away from her on her smoke break, yet i was shown otherwise by my coworker when she was showing me the ropes while working with her. So it was a rough day. I did up my Incident Report and have been trying to let this go all evening. I came home and was glad to see my family. We had a belated christmas dinner (turkey, veg, potatoes, gravy etc). That was soo nice. Tmrw i have to go back to work. I dont want to go but i cant afford not to go. I will do my best. Hope everyone has a good addiction free night
:butterfly:

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Had an okay day. Spent most of it cleaning. Had my usual Saturday appointment with Brian. Joe came by with a bowl of chili and was tempted to ask if that beer was still available.
But I refrained. I figure I’m doing pretty well and don’t want to mess it up now. Might take a short nap because I’m feeling strangely depressed for no reason.
Everyone have a great sober evening and New Year! :v:

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Day 7, it’s been a decent one so far. I’m exhausted from all the social things I’ve had to do this week and I’m at a new years party right now too. When I get home I’m going to collapse and just be a hermit until school starts for me

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