Im sorry abour ur slip 
but it sounds like uv learned a few things that can be helpful for the future. Hoping for some peace and calmness in ur day today
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Thank you Dana!
I noticed that I didnāt have coping skills for this situationā¦
A relaxed layd back situation or these special days of the year.
I had a lot to overwhelming feelings, stress
ā¦ But not for that!
Second relaps in a week after nearly 5 months.
Definitely need to stop before i get deeper in that circle.
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Alcoholism/addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful for sure! We can never really let our guard down. But it does sound like u realized a few things for future events. Try not to beat urself up too much tho bcuz that doesnt help in moving forward. Make ur recovery plans for holidays and im sure it will be much diff next holiday season. Do u have a plan for New Years? Idk if that day is a trigger for u but if u think it would be a good idea to male a plan for that, then id go for it 
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Checking in
Day 319
So yesterday we were discharged from the hospital. I didnt check in bcuz we were opening christmas presents in the evening
It was such a busy night lol He did incredibly well getting back to normal health. Im so proud of him and everything he went thru all those days in hospital. I was able to do some self care last night. Felt so nice to have a hot shower and do my skin care routine. I still feel sick tho (head congestion) so my sleep sucked. But ill take that over being in the hospital. Thankfully my son recovered well.
I started back on my normal eating routine today too. No exercise just yet tho bcuz im not 100% well. Will probably start that on Monday.
Basically today consisted of taking down the christmas tree and cleaning everything up. I got some nice gifts that im excited to try. One of them is a luxe fitbit. Im very late to the game with the fitbit but ive always wanted one! So im excited. Will probably play around with that today
Hope everyone is having an addiction free day
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Thank you Dana! I ghosted them once already and they gave me my job back, and of course I screwed it up because Iām allergic to success and stability. So I canāt blame them for not giving me a third chance.
I went there earlier so they could fill out some forms for the housing authoritah and they said HR will fax it to them. I would have felt more confident walking out with it in my hands. What if they forget?? Or just donāt care? I always expect the worst.
BTW, how is your son doing?
Edit: just saw your other post. Iām so happy everything is okay and he got to open his presents! Merry Christmas!
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Hey all, I have been away for some time. Glad to see you again. Checking in on day 4
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Day 27
Rough day just holding on. Work is getting the better of me but Iām only half way through so trying to turn it around. Glad to nearly be at a month. No desire to drink. Would have already lost this job if I was drinking and this place is really good. Not going to find this around near me anywhere else. Pushing on!!!
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Dear Dana,
I will do so 
You know, I forgot a bit about this feeling or status to be āin recoveryā the last weeks.
Itās good to be back in.
We should not forget this āstate of mindā as sobriety is moving forward.
I donāt have a fix plan.
I think, we can start a new thing everyday, every hour, as well as I think we can and should celebrate love everyday 
not only on Christmas.
I donāt want it to trigger me,
but okay - it does 
Something for my body, like wellness and some extra sport and something good to eat, and a film to watch would be nice.
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Hey Juli
Iām sorry to see you slipped a little; but youāre not alone. Weāre basically starting over again from the same place. I fell off on Thanksgiving and didnāt get correct until 4 days ago. I try to keep a morning routine to help me focus, and of course checking in here is an important part. If you donāt see me in a day or two, something bad happened.
Keep your chin up! 
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Checking day 116! Didnāt sleep great last night. Pretty tired, had therapy earlier, working 12 hours (from home for the holiday week which is nice), so just trying to push through. Iām off tomorrow so my goal is to rest well tonight and get back to the gym tomorrow. Hope everyone enjoys their sober Thursday!
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Day 37 
still feeling ruff after this last pancreatic attack the rib pain is better was able to eat today
Happy sober Thursday all
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Hi Mark,
thanks for being here with me 
Watchig out for your checkins man! 
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@DryIn785 sorry about the job 
good luck with your housing assistance 
sending strength 
@Scorpn congrats on 80 days substance free 
and for your other numbers
@Sabrina80 I hope youāre in less pain soon
@mx_elle this is huge 
congrats
@Luna2022 Iām so sorry for all that youāve been through this year 
thank you for sharing. Have you considered getting your locks changed before your exās release date so atleast if he attempts to return, he canāt get in? (Without commiting an offence, which he could then be arrested for). I hope he doesnāt come back, but thatās what Iād do for peace of mind.
@Juli1 youāll find your peace and ease again being by the ocean is so good for the soul, I hope you can find some healing there before you return from your holiday 
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on being out of the hospital and the return of your sonās health Merry Christmas 
@BT824 welcome back congrats on 4 days
@Sirluca sending strength
871 days no alcohol.
336 days no cocaine.
Feeling pretty defeated right now due to an earlier binge-eating episode. So tired of it. Gaining a lot of weight. Need to get back on track, donāt want to wait until the new year when I can start now 
even having 1 full day without binge-eating puts me in a better head space, so hopefully this time tomorrow I can be there
Still havenāt had a takeaway, so not letting myself forget that.
Iāve no plans for NYE as yet, for quite a few years now, itās just been me and my cats and an early night, then weāre woken by nearby firework displays, not so much last year as we donāt live in a top floor apartment near the centre of the city anymore, but still thereāll be some around here, I do like them, and thankfully my cats arenāt bothered by them, we do have anti-anxiety pheromones going all the while though so that probably helps.
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@DryIn785 Now more than ever you need a clear head. You can get thru this!
@Luna2022 That really is a tough year, it is ok to feel overwhelmed and like life is unfair. If it helps, vent here as much as you like, we are here to listen.
@Juli1 Keep trying! You can get off the hamster wheel. Never underestimate addiction. It is definitely cunning, baffling, powerful.
@Butterflymoonwoman So glad ur son is out of hospital.
@CATMANCAM Sending strength for dealing with binge eating.
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Checking in, end of day 13. Itās been a long week, one more work day before the weekend. Have a great night guys
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Thanks to @Juli1 @Misokatsu @CATMANCAM and all the other well wishers, Iād be feeling pretty hopeless without you guys. In fact I was still thinking about getting a beer earlier, but the feeling passed quickly enough. Today was as productive as I could make it, so Iām going to relax tonight and make a battle plan for tomorrow.
I am a little worried about NYE. I never do anything, not even watch the ball drop I usually go to bed around 9. I should, for my own sake, do the same thing this year.
Anyway, hope everybody is having a good sober evening/morning! 
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NYE is just another day. Remember how proud and good you will feel waking up hangover and regret free. Go to bed early and wake up and shine!
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Day 5. So far so good, had a close call last night but it was fine. Went to a pre wedding party today and had a nice time hanging out with the groom, bride and everyone else
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I appreciate the replies. Yes itās been a 
year, and I know I should still be thankful for a lot, and I need to try to find a more positive way of looking at things. Itās just hard. @CATMANCAM yes I have taken some precautions. I got a restraining order until March 31. The judge only gave me 6 months, so I will try to get it extended. Itās just a piece of paper to him though. His ex wife also got one and heās violated it, and violated mine by trying to contact me from jail. He finally has backed off some and I havenāt heard from him since thanksgiving. I went no contact, and I have kept a log of the times heās violated it. I could have pressed more charges, but I have had to hold on to all his stuff, and when I say itās a lotā¦ā¦itās a lot. So I really need him released so they will finish the eviction. They put a hold on it, because he was not free to get his things. I have an outdoor camera and an indoor camera facing the sliding doors to the back of my house. Iām just afraid of the unknown right now. I donāt know what he will do nor his mental state once released. He has no home, no car, no money, and no phone. Sorry now Iām ranting. I just want to get to the other side of this and be able to move on. I canāt do that until his crap is gone, and he has no reason to come to my home.
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