So… I need to start again back to day one. It is embarrassing but after a week i was hit with a major emotional blow and I turned right back to binge eating. I got sick, and spent all yesterday in my bed crying. Has anyone else had their whole life ( friends, family, love. ) abandon you when you decided to quit addiction and get healthy? The timing seems unduly cruel! Here I am again though I am determined to get well so I will pray. I ask only that if you pray, no matter how you pray, please pray for me.
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Wooh, that was spooky. I made another attempt selling something via eBay Kleinanzeigen. I hate it, yet I tried again. Someone contacted me. I told him where I lived where to ring the bell. Then I read that he was rated not very good. I thought, fuuuuuuck, searched my pepper spray and wrote my brother to call me if I didn’t contact him in 1 hour.
In the end he didn’t buy. He wanted to send it abroad to his family as a present.
Note: I should take more care. Trust your gut. Not all people are friendly.
On the bright side of this: I have again a kind of fear feeling, being cautious. I think that is a good thing. I care about myself.
When drinking I gave a shit about myself. I think it’s a healthy feeling. I am not scared. Or overly anxious.
I am grateful to be sober. And I am grateful for this community. Really very grateful.
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@Minatasha proud of you for being honest, keep shining a light on that darkness 
@M-be-free49 thank you for sharing this stark reminder of what we’re battling against. I hope you’re okay, not a pleasant way to wake up 
@EarnIt congrats on double digits 
@Bear21 congrats on your week
@GOKU2019 happy 10th bday to your eldest 
@me_me_me congrats on double digits and that feeling is quite a relief 
@Nordique congrats on 950 days
@SGC1522 congrats on 2 weeks and the relief you are feeling from anxiety and panic
@D-Man welcome back 
sending strength
893 days no alcohol.
358 days no cocaine.
8 days no binge-eating.
Slept long and deep last night, and until 11am this morning, which included an alcohol dream, it was new years eve, I had woken up in a random field, I recalled I had been drinking earlier in the night, and felt such despair that I’d have to reset my counter. Grateful it was just a dream.
Today I drove to my hometown to collect meds. My back is really hurting today and sitting in my car seat is when it is least painful, so I thought I’d start with that.
I have 2 flat-pack bedside drawers to build. It took 20mins just to get all of the parts out of one box. I was totally overwhelmed by it, and still haven’t been able to face it, so it’s just all in piles on the bedroom floor. I will try to attempt it tomorrow. DIY is not my skill-set. 
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends
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Day 888 
Happy weekend for everyone 
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Checking in. Day 105
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I never usually check in, but i am today to stay grounded with some urges… only day 19 today but the longest i have been sober in 20 years…
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Checking in day 21. Struggle. I’m finding it hard. I miss it. I miss being normal at the pub. I miss not feeling sick with sugar cravings. I have replaced booze with chocolate. I’m sleeping badly. All the things that usually feel great about sobriety don’t. I feel agitated, my skin looks worse? I’m hoping this wears off soon. I know it’s Friday night and I’ll feel good when I wake up on Saturday morning. But sometimes it’s good to be honest about it feeling shit and boring to be sober but knowing you want to be too. I miss what alcohol gave me but I’ll check in tomorrow and know I won’t miss it.
You know I just miss RED WINE. I could avoid everything else for the rest of my life quite comfortably but everything about red wine I find is cryptonite.
Happy weekend my friends xxx
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Same! Im 30 but longest sobriety in at least 10 years! I’m with you, I’m with you
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Tough Friday night. Wife on the booze, me not in the best mood.
Hopefully I’ll sleep well and feel better tomorrow.
Have good evenings all.
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I have SO many alcohol dreams that In the dream I’ve gotten so drunk and forgotten it all and cheated on my partner. Horrendous and so relieving to wake up to it not being true!
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Checking in
Day 341 Substance free
Day 8 Binge free
Today has been SO busy. And i didnt sleep well due to my asthma so i am a bit tired. I did work out this morning tho. Did lower body but tuned down the cardio bcuz my breathing wasnt the greatest. Went to the pharmacy and got myself thr more expensive inhaler (that I actually should be on) to help with my breathing. And since we have renewed benefits as of Jan 1st it only cost me $22 instead of $135. Then went grocery shopping. Came home and ate lunch. Relaxing a bit until i do the dishes and then pick up my son from the school bus. Been a good day tho. I work this weekend at the hospital again so trying to mentally prepare myself for that lol. Should be fine. I guess thats about it for now. Hope everyone is having an addiction free day
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2y 3m 19d
I’m ending this day feeling exhausted and accomplished. I made two cakes for our guests for tomorrow and helped my future MIL cleaning and prepping other things. Took us the whole day. I ran out of whipped cream so needed to improvise pipings for one cake. I’m certain they’re delicious but my decorating skills are meh. I asked MIL if I’m still an acceptable DIL although my cakes look unpresentable 
She burst out laughing.
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I used to feel that way too. It’s totally normal. Try and remember all reasons you stopped drinking. I used to romanticise alcohol too, but I would always try and flip my thinking and focus on the negatives alcohol brought me like feeling shit, hangovers, guilt, wasted money, bad choices, bad mental health, bad physical health.
You gain so much in the long term from giving up the temporary “pleasures” of drinking.
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Just an idea. But here in the states, alot of people I know meet the prospective buyer at the nearest police station parking lot. To exchange item and money. Alot safer that way. If they won’t meet you there, automatic red flag.
Be safe.
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Hmz… Nice idea Joe!
I just have a enquiry for my old Sony Bravia TV that feels not that safe via “eBay Kleinanzeigen” tomorrow at 5 pm @anon74766472… I am already writing “we” instead of “me” although here its just me 
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Checking in day 138! Having a hard time- broke up with my partner while he’s in rehab. It’s been a long time coming unfortunately (years, really) but it’s really hard. I did it while he’s there instead of after so he could have support around him and his after care plan would t deceivingly involve me, but he’s begging and says he has no real support available since it’s the weekend now, and he can’t use the phone anymore to call his supports. I feel like a bad person and it’s triggering. I do have a client in a bit and set stuff up to cook dinner to stay busy, also going to walk. I should be fine, but it’s my first day in a bit where I’m kind of struggling and will make a post if things can worse. I won’t drink today, it’ll make everything worse. Overall my life is SO much better, I just need to get through a hard time. Thanks for listening.
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What a brave and honest post 
unfortunately in sobriety we have to protect it at all costs. You might not see it now but by breaking away from that relationship you have given yourself a such a boost in your own success of staying sober. Some might say that is selfish, but we sometimes have to be to make sure we stay on the path we are supposed to be on.
You are doing fantastically. Try not to let anything derail it. Nothing. Your life, your sobriety, you do what you need to do for you 
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Love this! Such personal growth! Keep growing stronger & stronger!
Im glad u made the right decision for yourself. What a huge step. Hope ur evening gets better
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