So today already started out bad
I woke up a mess and honestly called out of work for rest
I go in at 5am tomorrow morning
I really hope my boss is easy on me for it
I’ve been watching a show on Roku called bull
It’s about a trial science boss running his company. Sometimes he kinda yells at his employees so that got me thinking that a boss can be irritable with their employees so I guess it’s a normal thing to be approached my a irritable boss while working
The job got me stressing. It’s hard yet I know I can do it
I should not have called out today and I regret it. I feel off beat because of it. No good. I just wanted to rest be4 work tomorrow morning.
What I should have done was call in to be 1 hour late to regroup myself this morning. Whatever happened tomorrow will happen. I’m almost ready to be fired
I guess my job wasn’t a good fit because I just can’t keep up. I feel like I let my wife down by calling out even though she said she is ok
So I called back work to see if I could still go in and I’d just be about an hour late. They said not today. I hope that counts for some compassion tomorrow from the employees
Just had a rant about some toxic people who have really got under my skin with some messages I have been sent. I’ve decided to delete it because that makes me like them, TOXIC!
So I’m going back to lurking in the shadows and recover In solitude!
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@Cjp thank you. It has definitely been a journey. The first few months were hell but the last 3 or 4 have been fairly smooth sailing. In the beginning, keeping a daily journal really helped keep the feelings real and fresh, visiting this place daily helped as well and seemed to help keep me grounded. I increased my workouts and started running a lot. I definitely could not have done it, especially in the early days, without the support of everyone on here. I definitely appreciate it.
Despite putting on a smile and trying to be cheerful, truth is, I’ve been depressed for months now. Getting up is hard, getting out of the house is harder. The only thing that gives me joy lately is playing music, but between the kids and chores, there’s been little time.
The days are longer now and that will help. As spring settles in, and the leaves return, and the air becomes warm, and the rain turns to sunshine and the grey turns to color, I’ll feel better and more like myself.
Second check in
I had enough energy to clean the apartment and even cleaned the windows.
Damn that’s so bright
I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t clean them in over 1 year
Working on day 7, few hours to go. Grateful to be building up time again. Very thankful I was resilient enough to get back in the wagon right away. Trying on wedding bands definitely helped put the journey in perspective as well, there’s going to be no messing around when I’m married.
