Checking in Day 395
Been a lazy day. My son stayed home from school today for a medical reason so that means i needed to wake up early if i wanted to get a workout in. Surprisingly woke up at 6am so I managed to do some cardio. Made coffee and was super lazy until about 11am. Was starting to feel pretty blah about my day so decided to get up and do dishes, sweep n vaccum, wash floors, and go for a walk to get a few things with my son. Grabbed some cute easter window decals at the dollarstore for us to put up. He always enjoys that. Now just relaxing until hubby gets home. Looking forward to a nice supper, self care, a good show, and a good rest.
In a few days Iām six months, bit of a hectic journey but its one full of love and support this time around.
In just over a week I return to pay my respects to my Uncle that just passed, this time my wife will be traveling with me, I finally get to show her where my greater whanau(family) comes from and to my marae and urupa(tribal meeting house and burial ground) its land that gives me my culture and strength. That connection helped me kick start this journey.
I also have a few friends to catch up with as well.
Hopefully the warmth will hold out for our wedding anniversary holiday.
Stay safe out there team, ko tahi aroha - one love
Day 67. Had my doc appointment and survived the blood draw without too much anxiety. Work was okay. Still struggling some. Frustrated with my insurance company (posted a rant in Sober Without God thread). But Iāll let that go for now. Watching NCAA Tournament and then going to bed.
Hey guys checking in on Wednesday night. Switched schedules at work so off the next two days so tonightās kinda like Friday. My wife doesnāt drink but once a week when sheās off she takes those edibles and tonightās that night. . It doesnāt really bother me just kind of a little trigger. No big deal though. I quit weed 22 years ago when I started working where Iām at now cause we have random drug tests so it just wasnāt worth it. Alcohol is a whole different story. Anyways I aināt fuckin drinking. I got a smart recovery meeting tomorrow night so Iāll let yous know how that goes. Only thing with them is that theyāre few and far between in my area, so might have to try AA again too, theyāre alot more accessible. Gonna go hit the gym for a night workout in a bit then come home and just chill out. Have a great night guys.
Evening Check In Day 395
Feeling really disengaged from my supports right now. Idk what thats about. Feel like im not as involved with them as i used to be. Maybe this is normal at some point in recovery? Im not too sure. I dont feel like i need AS much support as i did in the beginning of my recovery but stillā¦ im only like 1 year and 1 month clean and sober. Its a big deal but in the grand scheme of things its just a small portion compared to my 22 years of addiction. So i must be cautious that i dont fall into the āI can do it on my ownā trap.
Today was okay. Lazy then busy and now the day is finally winding down. I have an insanely busy day tmrw with a phone call to renew a contract and then long transit trips to pick up supplies for my son. And then a workout and the usual tidying up. Hoping all goes well tmrw. Just want to let u all know how proud i am of every single one of u. Hugs TS fam
Checking in almost 15 days. Super agitated today, probably not enough in my schedule. Going on a muddy hike to waterfalls tomorrow - should take my mind off of things. Take care all!
Still going strong guys. This topic is just a check in. Iām still having withdrawal symptoms like crazy and I barely made it through my day but Iām at work now holding down the fork anyway. I keep going to the bathroom in fear that my nausea will progress and my stomach hurts like hell. The headaches donāt help me out at all and there is basically no one to complain to. I canāt leave work because there is no one to replace me and even if I did whoās to say the symptoms donāt continue the rest of the week or even month for that matter. Anyway, just venting right now but the main thing is Iām 5 days in and havenāt picked upāā night, night for now
Day 374 no alcohol
Though i was wishing i could
Long day at work.
Keep thinking on a nightmare loop
Im overwhelmed trying to keep up with the threadā¦i sometimes only open this app to write this check in and then just leave.
Made myself clean though i let my room get bad again. Like pile of food trash bad. So i got rid of that and did the litter box and wound up cleaning for about 45 min. Up early in the morning.
Pic is me arriving at work yesterday. One more to go and itās my 3 day weekend. @Minatasha Donāt let this thread overwhelm you. Let it help you. Thanks for being here. Hugs.
No, just kidding about HALT - actually feeling quite good and I donāt know how it is possible. Without relapsing for few days I would have been about 3+ months sober! Maybe that does huge impact on my health and sleep quality Anyway, I will try to buy melatonin + 5htp + other supplements for better sleep. I tried on Tuesday but the medicine shops were already closed after my work so just hit the gym and had problems to fall asleep afterwards.
But you are aware itās not a good sign; thatās the important thing. I frequently feel that way 30-60 days in, and it usually doesnāt end well.
I hadnāt thought about it before, but maybe Iām going nuts from not doing anything. That would explain a lot. I could use a hike myself. @Onestepmore2023 Hang in there; if youāre in 5 days the physical part should be over soon. Drink water and keep checking in
I had to smile a little at that, because thatās what my room looks like once in a while. Things will get better. @Mno Great pic, as always.
Day 8 (9?)
Good morning/evening everyone. Wasted another day. Tagged along with neighbor Joe to get some grocery shopping done, and that was about it. Still sorting out paperwork.
Iām pretty good with records, because I never throw anything away. Bad part is, northing gets thrown away. So in the middle of sorting the wheat from the chaff, I ended taking a nap until 7:30pm. Iāll be awake all night. again. I gotta get on a regular sleep routine. Right now looking for a movie I havenāt seen yet, even though itās 2:30 am right now. Maybe I should try to sleep again. Idk. Just checking in.
Happy sober Thursday!
#Day 1640
Went back to the spot I almost got crushed by a falling tree. I had to see it again. They removed the piece that was on the street but the rest was still there. I took a piece of it home. I think I want to make something out of it when I am in goldsmith class.
Live and dead is so close to eachother.
If I had walked a few seconds slowerā¦if I had stoppedā¦ifā¦
Would I have died? Seriously injured?
Iām not depressed ore anxious by what happend, but just overthink it a lot.
Overall Iām just happy and gratefull to be alive
Today? Off from work and going for a walk with a friend
See you
Day 15 and grateful to get through yesterday sober.
One of the things I used to tell myself when drinking was that I would only ādrink to rememberā- I.e. to have fun or celebrate and never ādrink to forgetā because if you do both then youāre drinking all the time. Yeah, well that didnāt work because ādrinking to rememberā leads to hangover symptoms you have to drink to forget and we all know how that ends. Just another lie I told myself.
Anyway, yesterday was a tough day as it was bonus day at my firm. Itās my own firm so I get to give out bonuses to the team and hopefully make them happy. Usual form is then to go to the pub and get smashed beyond memory. I can honestly say I donāt remember more than snippets from 20 years of bonus days. This year I planned things differently which helped a bit.
I scheduled bonus day for a Wednesday (rather than Friday) and then a board meeting for the early evening so I could use the excuse of having to be sober for serious stuff. Wouldnāt have stopped me having a few drinks in the past over lunch but they didnāt know that.
However I then had to take some clients who had flown into town out and one of my partners had arranged it in a damn cocktail bar. Ugh. I didnāt think I was ready for that challenge (and I wouldnāt repeat it any time soon) but I ordered alcohol free cocktails for me. One of the upsides is that no one knew because I was doing the ordering.
Anyway, Iām grateful to the community for helping me through that test. I came here a couple of times during the day briefly and just reading positive stories of people who are struggling like me and making it through helped more than I ever thought it could.
I know Iām not ready to face constant temptation but I grateful to have changed a few things to make the test easier and made it through to earn my 2 weeks.
I woke up this morning feeling great, and could remember yesterday! Feels good.
. It doesnāt really bother me just kind of a little trigger. No big deal though. I quit weed 22 years ago when I started working where Iām at now cause we have random drug tests so it just wasnāt worth it. Alcohol is a whole different story. Anyways I aināt fuckin drinking. I got a smart recovery meeting tomorrow night so Iāll let yous know how that goes. Only thing with them is that theyāre few and far between in my area, so might have to try AA again too, theyāre alot more accessible. Gonna go hit the gym for a night workout in a bit then come home and just chill out. Have a great night guys. 
Evening Check In 
Anyway, I will try to buy melatonin + 5htp + other supplements 
