Checking in daily to maintain focus #52

Life in Recovery
2485

Day 947

Still wasting way too much time on YT. I hate that it is nearly my kids’ spring vacation, so I’ll have even less opportunity to do the things I should do. This is compounded by my husband telling me that there are “many” things about me that he is just putting up with about me, but he won’t tell me what they are, because it would cause an argument. So why mention it then? Just so I can feel unspecifically like I am not good enough? Gee, thanks.
On the plus side, have started running again. Back to week 4 of c25k for probably the 15th time (no exaggeration). I have also slightly tidied a couple of closets. I meant to tidy all perfectly this vacation, but doing 10 % is better than zero I guess.
I have mentioned before, this third year of recovery is being a slog. I am not in danger of drinking but I am just so tired and unenthused. Probably need to really put some effort into gratitude and helping others.

18 Likes
2486

Geez, I hate when people do that. Just keep it to yourself or better yet be a good communicator and tell me what’s bothering you—in a respectful and considerate way.

5 Likes
2487

Day 15,

Good morning! The sun is shining, it is bright, it is resplendent, it is radiant. Spring is springing and soon it will be sprung! My eyes are adjusting to the radiance after 4 months of doom and gloom. How are y’all? I’m doing good.

My flatmate wants to have his birthday party at the flat and I’m like I will be in my room, no one can use my bathroom, my bedtime is 12:30, and the flat needs to be clean so that I can comfortably make Saturday brunch the next day. I love being a hard ass :joy:

15 Likes
2488

Checking in Day 155, feeling good and so grateful to not be where I was 5 months ago. I don’t ever want to go back. Stay safe, strong and sober everyone. Your worth it!

19 Likes
2489

OMG SHE IS HERE!!! My gorgeous granddaughter has been born today!!! :heart_eyes:I’m over the moon ecstatic!! 9 Ibs and 3 ounces and just as perfect as perfect can be!!! I can’t describe this feeling and the tears have happiness just won’t stop :heart::heart::heart:

31 Likes
2491

Morning Check in :white_check_mark:

Just finished an amazing home workout. My gym membership on the app has pre recorded fitness classes on there so I gave it a go.
It was really good, I feel good for doing it. It’s nice to know I can add that in to my fitness programme :grinning:

Going to go for a walk to get more exercise in, got to keep wearing myself out daily.

Have a lovely blessed day all :purple_heart:

21 Likes
2492

Day 61.

Woke up with a banging headache so now I’m just waiting for the paracetamols to kick in. And my tooth hurts again. The emergency dentist put something on there to murder the pulp, but the damn thing is still kicking. I need a proper root canal doing and I’m probably gonna have to bite the bullet sooner rather than later.

Today I’m going to check out a new coworking space. It’s close to where I’m staying and reasonably priced. They do, however, advertise complementary beer and wine on their website, and I’m not a fan of that. Not that I’m tempted, I’ve eaten out before with no issues, but I prefer offices where everyone just sits quietly and minds their own business. Back in December, I was trying to hit a deadline in one of the social butterfy filled coworking spots and the fuckers were getting drunk, eating pizza , dancing and doing secret santa at 5 pm, which was an hour before my piece was due! I worked there for 2 weeks and had to put up with fucking carols every day!

I’m not paying for that kind of social party atmosphere again. If I wanted that, I’d work in a bar.

Sorry, I’m rambling again.

Hope you all have a happy sober Thursday!

14 Likes
2493

Day 28. I can’t believe I am reaching the month. I don’t want to be naive. I know temptations eventually come. But right now I feel so excited thinking in a whole sober month

17 Likes
2494

WOW! Congratulations! What a wonderful event! :purple_heart: :partying_face: :purple_heart:

3 Likes
2495

Check in Day 250 happy and Sober :wink:

So it has been an while since my last update post in the Talking Sober Community.

If I look back in the past 3 years, and checking in again after a while would be a scream for help to finally get sober and to sort out my life.

This time that’s not the case and actually I’m doing very well and I managed to stay sober for 8 months in a row.

Its took me more than 3 years of struggling and relapsing and I finally manage to stay sober for a long time. I made an commitment to never walk back down that long dark path called alcoholism again.

In July I signed up for an Online Coaching course which not only helped me with my alcohol addiction but also helped me coping with the ‘’battle’’ called life, making future plans and my social and mental struggles.

My life is so much better now! Off course I still have a lot of shitty days and life still sucks, but I don’t care… I can handle it…… SOBER!

Hiking is my new DOC. Hiking is my best friend and therapy for the last 8 months and for the future. Hiking is what I use for meditation.
I am training now for A Long Distance path in The Netherland which is 500km, around 300 miles I think.
I Saved 5 weeks of holiday so I can walk this hiking track in May.

I dreamt of a sober life for so many years, some times I still can’t believe that I am sober for such a long time now. I am grateful for having the perseverance for not ever giving up on myself and that I kept on trying. I am grateful for having some amazing people around me who never gave up on me.

And I am grateful for this great community for supporting me and that there are still members who now and then tag me in a post even after a long period of absence.

This made me realize that I should start contributing more to this amazing community. Thank you @runningfree in particularity :stuck_out_tongue:

There are more battle to be won, like my nicotine addiction.

I gave myself 30 minutes of ‘‘screen time’’ a day, so I will keep it brief. :wink:

Have an amazing sober day to all of you!

Smile, Breathe and Go slowly! :blue_heart: :v:

Screenshot_20230316-124242_Sober Time
Screenshot_20230316-124242_Sober Time1080×2340 177 KB

24 Likes
2496

Hey all, checking in on day 1,005. I hope everybody has a good one!

22 Likes
2497

Day 1,007 clean and sober today. Have a great day, love you guys! :sunglasses::metal:t2:

21 Likes
2498

Sobriety is a gift! Thank you for inspiring us this morning. Hiking is one of my favorite things to do as well.

5 Likes
2499

Congrats on the healthy grandbaby! @Ravikamor

5 Likes
2500

It’s just not possible for you to be a grandmother. Congrats to you, my California friend!

2 Likes
2501

day 378 of no self harm

still doing pretty terribly after quitting my job. it’s been 3 days and I’ve probably slept no more than 8 hours that entire time. Tonight I got 2 hours of sleep.

yesterday I applied for a new daycare job (the website said the application was submitted but I’ve gotten a confirmation email from every single job I’ve applied for online except this one so I’m not sure it went through. if I don’t hear anything I’ll try again Monday and then I’ll call if I need to ) I also registered for college classes, I start may 30th

today was probably the hardest. I forced myself out of bed and went for an hour walk and ended up crying most of it. had to force myself to refill my medication organizer for the week, seriously just wanted to stop my meds all together. I feel so hopeless. my parents keep nagging me to clean my room (it is a disaster) now that I’m not working but I’m barely even eating enough. the room was already overwhelming when I was doing good, it’s far too much to imagine cleaning now.

later today I pick up some equipment for an at home sleep study. doctor wants to rule out sleep issues before we start testing for more chronic illness that would cause my fatigue.

since I quit so unexpectedly I had scheduled to see my therapist every 3 weeks, if I don’t get accepted into this new job(it’s the only other daycare nearby and I still don’t have my license so i need my parents to agree to take me and they don’t want more than a 10 minute drive) I’m probably gonna have to make an appointment for sooner

this post is all jumbled I’m not sure if it makes any sense I’m so tired

10 Likes
2502

A brand new shiny day 3. I am trying to chase the negativity away by congratulating myself on little things. I made good decisions yesterday. It’s rare to feel good about them all at the end of the day, but I even woke up today feeling good then, especially 1. Part of the reason I had a relapse was opportunity. My husband keeps bottles just right in the kitchen, visible, right there in the open, just screaming at me. He made a joke about me being a drunk, not realizing how devastated I currently am because I hide everything. Instead of just letting the sting sink in and add to my shame, I walked up to him and told him that if there was a substance I knew of out in the world that could cause him so much physical and emotional harm, I would ban it from our home, block it with my own body, do whatever I could to keep him safe. It made me sad that he didn’t think to do the same for me. By the end of the day, the bottles were gone. Maybe a small victory.

16 Likes
2503

I’m so glad you had that convo with your husband. Well done!

1 Like
2504

Congratulations Granny :hugs:
I’m so happy for ya.
Enjoy your tears of happiness. Such a beautiful thing. :pray:t2::hugs::heart:

3 Likes
2505

Day 12 no alcohol fam :+1::muscle: Every time I tell booze to F off I get that much stronger. Dropped the doggos off at daycare & just had a nice sweaty run on my treadmill (still too much snow to run outside). I have my morning Tempest meeting in about an hour, looking forward to it. I’m starting to cement new habits that will support my sobriety like running, meetings, meditation and watching a video or two from the Tempest library. Thank you all for being here, it really helps.

13 Likes