Despite putting on a smile and trying to be cheerful, truth is, I’ve been depressed for months now. Getting up is hard, getting out of the house is harder. The only thing that gives me joy lately is playing music, but between the kids and chores, there’s been little time.
The days are longer now and that will help. As spring settles in, and the leaves return, and the air becomes warm, and the rain turns to sunshine and the grey turns to color, I’ll feel better and more like myself.
Second check in
I had enough energy to clean the apartment and even cleaned the windows.
Damn that’s so bright
I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t clean them in over 1 year
Working on day 7, few hours to go. Grateful to be building up time again. Very thankful I was resilient enough to get back in the wagon right away. Trying on wedding bands definitely helped put the journey in perspective as well, there’s going to be no messing around when I’m married.
Thank you all!! I’m honored to say that they have decided to name her Meabh Rebecca I am honored beyond emotions. I am thankful for this much joy with sobriety. I’m flying over in 9 days a sober grandma with no worries about alcohol related circumstances. If anyone on here is struggling, you won’t believe the insurmountable blessings you can have with sobriety
You play instruments I assume? What instruments? I am a fan of all genres as well. But I really like bluegrass. I hated it when I started playing guitar when I was younger but my instructor told me
That If I want to be able to play anything then I should learn bluegrass. So I started learning and listening and was hooked.
Checking in Day 396
Today has been okay. Very busy. Lots of practice in reliance on my HP. Started off with a 2.5 hour phone call to renew a medical contract for my son. It went really well but the conversation gave me a massive headache afterwards.
My son and i had our lunches and then we went out for a walk so that i could get some tylenol and a coffee. We decided to also go for a nice loooong walk thru the park behind our building. We probably did a good 2 or 3 laps around the entire park.
I also ended up getting an email about our overnight nurse tonight and how she cant make it. So theres a very good chance that ill have to do the awake overnight shift with my son. Im already tired to be honest but theres not much i can do if no one can replace her. I usually get super anxious and frustrated when things like this happen. But im too tired to fight my emotions and so i spoke to my HP and gave it all to Him. Im choosing not to waste any more energy on something that i have completely no control over.
So ya… thats where im at. I really enjoyed our walk today. It was slow paced and so quiet in the park. Lots of puddles and snow melting. It was beautiful out. My son loved holding onto pinecones and his “walking stick”. It was just really nice. And i actually teared up with gratitude for my recovery. Thankful to God. Thankful for the connections/supports i have. I really needed this walk. We will see how the rest of this day goes. Tmrw is another busy day so hopefully we get a replacement nurse last min (even though its not looking good). But ill manage, i always do.
Checking in day 193! 99% of the conference went well today- I felt like I made good social connections which is what usually makes me anxious (an alcoholic with social anxiety, what a shocker )
Unfortunately, there was an exercise that happened and the presenter felt he could use me as an example in a way that felt really embarrassing to me. I turn red really easily and he (and everyone) saw that and all I could do the rest of the time was think about retreating into my shell. Embarrassment is such a trigger for me even though I know literally no one cares about what happened but me.
Anyway, I’m home now and ordered myself a comfort meal. Gonna take it easy and get to bed early for day 2 tomorrow. Also gotta get back to the gym tomorrow- just not up for it today.
Just ranting to get that out- overall it was a good day. I hope everyone is have a super sober Thursday!
Yes I like them. I love the young jam bands that are more alternative rock on acoustic instruments and tradition bluegrass like the bluegrass album band.
I don’t play drums and have messed with bass at church when they needed an emergency fill in but mainly stick with guitar, fiddle, banjo, mandolin, and uke.
I am honored beyond emotions. I am thankful for this much joy with sobriety. I’m flying over in 9 days a sober grandma with no worries about alcohol related circumstances. If anyone on here is struggling, you won’t believe the insurmountable blessings you can have with sobriety 
