A brand new shiny day 3. I am trying to chase the negativity away by congratulating myself on little things. I made good decisions yesterday. It’s rare to feel good about them all at the end of the day, but I even woke up today feeling good then, especially 1. Part of the reason I had a relapse was opportunity. My husband keeps bottles just right in the kitchen, visible, right there in the open, just screaming at me. He made a joke about me being a drunk, not realizing how devastated I currently am because I hide everything. Instead of just letting the sting sink in and add to my shame, I walked up to him and told him that if there was a substance I knew of out in the world that could cause him so much physical and emotional harm, I would ban it from our home, block it with my own body, do whatever I could to keep him safe. It made me sad that he didn’t think to do the same for me. By the end of the day, the bottles were gone. Maybe a small victory.
I’m so glad you had that convo with your husband. Well done!
Congratulations Granny 
I’m so happy for ya.
Enjoy your tears of happiness. Such a beautiful thing. 
Day 12 no alcohol fam 
Every time I tell booze to F off I get that much stronger. Dropped the doggos off at daycare & just had a nice sweaty run on my treadmill (still too much snow to run outside). I have my morning Tempest meeting in about an hour, looking forward to it. I’m starting to cement new habits that will support my sobriety like running, meetings, meditation and watching a video or two from the Tempest library. Thank you all for being here, it really helps.
So great to see you checking in Roland. And with 8 months!!!
I’m so happy for you.
Keep enjoying that hiking. I bet you’ll kick that nicotine soon and be free to just hike. Then you’ll just be you and your HP. Nothing holding you back sir.
I’m just so happy for ya.
Thanks for the update. You’ve been missed. Keep doing what your doing.
Oh @Ravikamor that is the happiest news to wake up and read! Congratulations! Nothing better than a baby to put life in perspective 
Day 12 and going well. Feel this is it this time. So happy. Just need to keep on keeping on. Hope everyone good.
I’m on day 12 too Mark, congratulations to us 
@TryingJoy im so glad u spoke ur truth to ur husband. I wish he would have really absorbed what u said and took that into consideration. Its so important that we are not silent about the things that hurt/bother us. It just hurts us more when we hold onto that anger and resentment. Im proud of u!
@SadMemeQueen sounds like alot is going on 
its good that u keep on trying to find new work. Sounds like it was really beneficial for u. Hoping something comes from all ur hard efforts. Sending positive energy ur way 
@ShadowFax Roland! It is SO good to hear from u! Im so happy about ur recovery time and all the wonderful things uv mentioned in ur post. Thats extremely exciting about that hike! Im glad ur back 
@Twizzlers way to go on the workout! Makes me wish i got up this morning to workout haha enjoy ur day friend!
@ravikamor yay!!! Congratulations on the arrival of ur beautiful grandbaby! 
@misokatsu what a hurtful thing for ur husband to say im so sorry that u have to be subjected to this. This isnt okay. Way to go tho on the c25k program! I stopped i think at 1 week in haha i give u props for trying again
@zzz congratulations on double digits!!
@mno gorgeous pic! I love all of your photos. You live in such a beautiful area have a great day!
Day 166
I slept long, cleaned the kitchen while having my first coffee. Yesterday I had a bad headache and slept mostly. Today the head is better, my period is on full bitch mode haha BUT the mood is becoming better.
I’m on my way back up 
I think on Saturday I’ll feel 100% like me again. I know this cycle already.
I hope you’re having a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Day 12 and hating how drinking:using is constantly on my mind. I know this is a process and eventually it will get easier but feeling tired and frustrated with the struggle at this moment. Hate that I wake up thinking about drinking/using. Needed to vent now going to hit a meeting and do some reading to hopefully get passed this moment.
5 days is big! Keep connected !
Withdrawal sucks but it will end. Staying connected here and with my sponsor helped me tremendously during that period and everyday since. Glad you are here!
37 days AF
I have been doing well with this community along with reading the big book and talking with my sponsor. Have totally changed my diet to include intermittent fasting between 12 and 16 hours.
Smaller portions for any meal and trying to have one or two Arbonne protein shakes during my time to eat.
Been doing great for about a month and lost like 13 lbs but yesterday I lost it and ate two huge cinnamon rolls in the morning, boneless chicken wings at lunch, and other calorie packed food early evening and I blew my calorie limit off the chart……
But I stayed sober! 
Going to get back on track with my diet today.
Day 26 no weed
Day 132 no alcohol
So today already started out bad
I woke up a mess and honestly called out of work for rest
I go in at 5am tomorrow morning
I really hope my boss is easy on me for it
I’ve been watching a show on Roku called bull
It’s about a trial science boss running his company. Sometimes he kinda yells at his employees so that got me thinking that a boss can be irritable with their employees so I guess it’s a normal thing to be approached my a irritable boss while working
The job got me stressing. It’s hard yet I know I can do it
I should not have called out today and I regret it. I feel off beat because of it. No good. I just wanted to rest be4 work tomorrow morning.
What I should have done was call in to be 1 hour late to regroup myself this morning. Whatever happened tomorrow will happen. I’m almost ready to be fired
I guess my job wasn’t a good fit because I just can’t keep up. I feel like I let my wife down by calling out even though she said she is ok
I feel useless…
Amazing!!
Good work friend!!
So I called back work to see if I could still go in and I’d just be about an hour late. They said not today. I hope that counts for some compassion tomorrow from the employees
Easy does it
Day 474
Just had a rant about some toxic people who have really got under my skin with some messages I have been sent. I’ve decided to delete it because that makes me like them, TOXIC!
So I’m going back to lurking in the shadows and recover In solitude!
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