I’m sorry about your anxious feelings about going to work again. Can you talk about this at work? Do you have someone who guide you with building up the hours? Maybe it’s going to quick for you and you can talk about some downsizing?
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Late check in on day 49, in fact just turned to 50 days. Had a nice dinner with my girlfriend, now also building a bit of Lego 
. That bouquet looks lovely 
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I am starting back part time and my coworkers are helping with some of the work. So it’s an okay situation. My anxiety isn’t as much about work as just generalized anxiety and panic that interferes with work.
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Ha ha, nice! That reminds me: there was a Lego tread here someday!
Maybe I have to look for it and bring it back to life 
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Do you have therapy for the anxiety? Glad your co workers are helpful.
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A big 
, on this very painful moment, so sorry.
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@Axsis Just so sorry for your loss. Damn, that’s hard. He surely had a beautiful life here on planet Earth 
with you.
@KarenKW Re-entry back to work after being away for a period of time causes a lot of anxiety. I experienced after rehab. You can’t control it, but you can take actions to accept the anxiety and diminish it. What’s your plan? Breathe work, Insight Timer, walk outside, stretching? Did you stick with your gratitude check-ins? Coming out of IOP, did they give you a plan to stay sober? If you liked IOP, sobriety support groups like AA or The Luckiest Club or Recovery Dharma will absolutely blow your mind. I’m 23 months sober and still go to a meeting a day. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
I’m so rooting for you, as are several in this community. It’s hard to read the consistent struggle you are going thru even with your therapists help. Anyway, we want all of this hard slog of early sobriety to never have to be repeated. I can DM you my cell if you’d like to ever chat. Hang in there.
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I appreciate you. I have 4 more days of IOP in the morning while I work part time in the afternoon, so that helps. I have an individual therapist that I’ll see once a week. I still need to find a group outside the IOP that I feel comfortable with. I do breath work and journaling. Grounding techniques. I’ve started checking out Insight Timer. It’s a work in progress.
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@Butterflymoonwoman congratulations!!! The 
sweets look delicious!!! Enjoy your sobriety!!!
Day 4 here ending
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On day 4 after yet another relapse…I’ve got a good sponsor and support but the only person I’ve been honest about my recent drinking with has been my therapist. While it was good to get that off my chest, I still feel crappy inside about lying by omission to the other important people in my life -especially my partner who has 2 1/2 years clean.
I live in sober living, so if I was rigorously honest at home I’d end up getting kicked out. Being homeless is not an acceptable consequence to me at the moment. I feel confused and screwed up over it and like I’m a bad person.
All I know for sure is that I don’t want to drink anymore, but I’ve continued to go back to it over and again. I’ve been able to stop long enough here and there to make some substantial progress in certain areas of my life and heal considerably in others…but know I’m precariously close to losing so much all over again if I continue to pick up.
So far I’ve made it to 4:36pm today without picking up. I plan to take the rest of the day moment by moment if necessary to make it to bedtime sober tonight. Thank you for this safe space for me to be completely honest.
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Day 155, first Valentine’s Day single in 10 years and sober in 7. My students made me feel loved today but I will be working an overnight at one of my ambulance companies tonight. Holidays are always hard because you’re almost guaranteed an overdose on either alcohol or drugs (alcohol tends to be much more triggering for me because we can’t reverse it). Hoping for a supportive crew tonight if this the type of night ahead.
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Tell your sponsor, this is the person who understands more than anyone else and won’t judge. They cannot help you if you are not 100% honest with them… No one else needs to know unless you have a god then it’s always worth 5 minutes with just the 2 of you.
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Day 7 sober.
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Days
127 drug free
44 self harm free
90 not restricting
Valentine’s Day. I always do too much. Buy things for others. Put too much thought and effort in. Whew.
Only 3 hours left. And it’ll be done. 
Sorry I’m in a cranky mood today. But i haven’t checked in in a few days…
Moving forward. ODAAT
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day 350 of no self harm
nothing much to report. had a fun valentine’s day party for the kids at work. supposed to have crazy weather tomorrow so praying for no work but will most likely have it anyway.
I can’t believe that in 15 days I will be a year clean
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Thank you!!
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Day 512 checking in 
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