Congratulations to 1 sober week!
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Nice! 5 full months of sobriety!
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Nice to hear about your accomplishments!
My new job in march will be a permanent role finally, too.I 
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Ahh how good! Thatās great news. Feels good having that job security.
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Hello beautiful people. Checking in on day 615. Stay strong, friends.
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OK. I didnāt realise, that you are working on an ambulance. Thank you for doing this BTW!
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Hey all, checking in on day 977. I hope everybody has a good one!
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I frequently feel this way. I try to focus on something else. Anything else. Discouragement is one of my biggest triggers.
@Hollieberry Congratulations on the 5 months!
Feeling betrayed right now. My housing grant was terminated early, end of this month instead of August. It said in the termination letter I failed to report income and owed them $800. Kelly (my case mgr) said she was appealing this. Well, I called Housing Authoritay to make a payment arrangement because Iād rather keep my place. Well, they told me my grant was pulled by Valeo, not conforming to patient responsibilities (ie, relapsing too many times). Thatās my fault of course, but Iām a little mad at Kelly for lying to me. I told her once, āIf I were you, I would have given up on me a long time agoā. and she said āI never give up on a clientā.
Apparently, she does. So, when I see my job advisor today, Iām going to have to tell her to find me anything I can start tomorrow. 
Wish me luck! 
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Awe thats soooo sweet! Thank you for saying this 
i think youre pretty amazing urself!
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Thank you!!
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Itās looking to the inland harbour of Utrecht with the old power station in view, with my back to the hospital I work in a new part of that town. No coincidence it looks alike I guess.
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Iām sorry @DryIn785 that is disappointing news to absorb. Donāt give up 
@Minatasha you are amazing and you are worth it. Congratulations on 11 months 
@CATMANCAM i hope you are feeling better
Feeling fulfilled after some family time yesterday 
and refreshed after a good sleep last night. Been struggling with sleep lately.
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Filled out more job applications. Freezing out here. 10Ā° F. Feel very much like curling up and having a bottle. 
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Alcohol widens the blood vessels which gives a warm sensation but actually lowers our body temperature. Alcohol doesnāt warm. Thatās just another lie alcohol tells us. Itās all lies. Stay sober Mark. Drinking doesnāt help with anything. It wonāt give you comfort and it wonāt give you warmth.
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Checking in. I donāt know if I count yesterday as day one if I was throwing up for most of it so weāll say that today is the first day. Again.
Feeling depressed and disappointed and wondering why I canāt just stay sober. Iāll be āfineā for awhile and then I just do something so dumb, hurting someone I care about. And then I wonder whatās itās all for if I already lost the person.
I just want to get through today.
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I know. Iāve spent enough time outdoors to find out the hard way. 
I meant curling up at home, while I still have one
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Well that wonāt help you with anything either. Itāll just put you down deeper. As I know you know. While I also understand the pull. Donāt believe the hype friend.
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@Tokigurl2 glad to see you, welcome back 
@Minatasha congrats on 11+ months 
sorry youāre feeling angry and like a failure, maybe this is something to talk about when you speak to a doctor? Sending strength
@Alycia congrats on your wins 
@DryIn785 good luck with your job search 
@hit_the_switch welcome back
920 days no alcohol.
385 days no cocaine.
8 days no crisps.
7 days no vape.
4 days no binge-eating.
Went for a drive to my hometown this morning, to collect my NRT products, also got a hair cut whilst I was there.
When I got back I went straight out for a walk to the supermarket to get some cleaning products, and squash as Iād completely ran out.
Did my meditations and chilled with my cats.
Then, I really had to push myself before it got dark, but I made it out for my afternoon walk round the lakes.
Now, more meditation, then catching up with the episode of the show I missed last night, before tonightās episode starts at 9pm.
Iām also hoping to shower between now and then.
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Day 40. Survived the dentist this morning. They were kind and understanding. But now everything is sore. Missed IOP because of that appointment. Trying to work this afternoon. My anxiety actually isnāt too terrible but Iām in a bad funk. I realized Iāve just been living in survival mode for so long and not really been living at all. Really the best I can still do is focus on taking my meds, eating somewhat healthy foods, shower, go to therapy, and now attempt to work. And that last part is a serious challenge. And the shower doesnāt always happen if I donāt have to go out. Actually above all else I take care of my cats. They help get me out of bed in the morning. Not sure where Iām going with this. Just rambling. One day at a time.
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Checking in. Day 132
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