Good morning from Germany, just thought I would start checking in.
—I woke up anxious and worried. Overwhelmed by the tasks for the day. Trying to keep the judgement at bay. I’m naming that critical voice in my head, my inner saboteur as RuPaul would say, Count Olaf after the nefarious and bumbling villain from A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snickett. I think I’m going to buy those books. Every time Count Olaf raises his mean, thin eyebrows and fixes his thin crusty lips to say something, I’m yelling, “get away from that child!”
—My room is a mess, and my gym schedule is out of wack because I drank three days ago. I think I’m throwing myself a pity party and I need to snap out of it. I missed two days of lifting (shoulders and legs) and my cherished, healing, endorphin producing run . I’ve been ordering takeout for the past 3 days so I have no groceries to make breakfast with except Muesli. I also need to go get journals from Muji. I can’t believe I’m complaining about this . My problems are not gonna kill me.
—German bureaucracy rears its head, I shudder in Kafka It’s ok. I’ll go to the city hall on Monday and the tax office later in the week with my German speaking friend. Both are within a 10-20 minute walk from my apartment.
—I’m gonna pick a card from my Tarot deck today. See what they have to tell me. I’m excited to start on The Artists’ Way by Julia Cameron and that’s why I need to go get the journals. Looking at my bookcase, I’m gonna revisit my favorite chapter from All About Love by bell hooks. I also started a hilarious and incisive novel that I had to put on hold while I read Catherine Gray’s book on sobriety. It’s called Wizard of the Crow by Ngugi wa Thiong’o. Highly recommend!
—Later this evening, I will talk to some current students at my alma mater along with the movers and shakers who inspired me to pursue a career in the arts! There’s a bit of imposter syndrome there but actually my shit is usually together so it makes sense that I’m being asked to talk to these young, impressionable college kids. And I get to be the young cool one on the panel!
—Ok, I’m ready for the day now. Time for Muesli and coffee. I don’t want to make my bed, but I will.
One more late shift to go. Looking forward to the weekend already. Pic is from my commute yesterday. A bit on the cold side but the sun was lovely. X @liminal.rehab Welcome to Talking Sober and welcome to this thread DJ! Wishing you all success in your personal sober journey. Thanks for reminding me of Julia Cameron, I once started The artist’s way but didn’t come further than the first chapter. Gonna make a new effort starting today. Have a good one!
No worries, I didn’t get past the second chapter on my first try either. But I did continue the journaling practice for about a month and the benefits were amazing. The peace, the serenity, the calmness I felt! If anything, just do it for that.
After craving for pot all day yesterday, I’m very greatful I stayed sober
It’s 4:41am here and I have work at 5am this morning
If I picked up weed yesterday, no doubt in my mind I’d either be sleeping, up and exosted, up exosted and high
I kept playing the tape through and even remember that pot doesn’t help me with my anxiety. It’s just the way I am. I remembered smoking early in the morning to help with anxiety but I remembered it just gets me high and I still feel the anxiety.
Yesterday instead of smoking weed I bought me and my wifey dinner, clipped my hair and took a shower
I didn’t smoke yesterday and I feel amazing at 4:00am ready for work
Today is truck day
I bought gloves and I have some money for some food and drinks while I’m at work
I kept asking my wifey if weed was a bad idea. I just had to ask even though it made me feel weak. She said everytime it was a bad idea. I’m so happy she at least stayed strong for me
I have 5min and I’m outtie to work, awake and clear headed.
Take care everyone
Drugs and alcohol are way over rated. They aren’t even close to as good as they seem. I think it’s accepted because of the way the dealers and business people made it look.
Drugs and alcohol would not have been a help to me today
I’ve slept in till past midday and I feel like shit. Got a couple of things to get through but it’s mostly gonna be a pyjama and Netflix day. I seem to go through phases when I feel ok and when the fatigue just takes over.
Hi everybody.
I’m here after 1 year long relapse (after being sober for 2 years). Been trying since beginning of December, but can’t seem to go further than 3-14 days.
I remembered that I’ve been active in this community in my early sober days 3 years ago. So I’ll give it a try once again
It’s Friday !!! 24 days Sober and feeling great most of the time…. Still have my moments but have a few friends in place for accountability and encouragement. Have a great weekend!
109 days sober, checking in on this wonderful Friday… even if the weather doesnt suggest it here in Ontario, it is still a wonderful Friday to me because im sober. God bless y’all
@Sundown8 welcome back to TS! Im sorry to hear about your relapse ODATT we are all here for u! @katy congratulations on double digits!!! Way to go! @Noshame way to go on not smoking weed yesterday and making better choices proud of you! @Alycia congratulations on 11 months!!!
Morning Check In Day 383
Good morning TS fam! Today i am feeling exhausted. I think all of the exercise ive been doing lately has finally caught up to me.
Not much is on the agenda today. Just a good grocery shop this morning and then rest. May try to attempt a workout but we will see how i feel after groceries.
Hope everyone has an addiction free day
Closing in on the six months mark, and noticing some recurring thoughts about drinking–not that I want to drink, thoughts about when I did drink that drive shame and self-loathing and sadness and hopelessness. That makes it sound more dire than it really is, actually. It’s more that the mental health issues I have tend to manifest in these sort of obsessive thoughts that drive anxiety/depression spirals that contribute to relapses. I wanted to put this somewhere, to recognize it and call it out and jump the curb on before I go any farther down this road and I figured this was a good enough place to do it. The weather is warming and my last epic relapse was the past summer, so as I begin to think with hope of all the fun spring and summer activities it’s reminding me of all the terrible terrible choices I made and making me feel kind of shitty.
Checking in day 180! According to the app there’s still a few days til my 6 months, but almost there I’m dog sitting for a friend so had to get up and move early today after a late night of work, so feeling sleepy today. The group I ran at work yesterday went well and I feel really good about it. Got asked to do a little presentation on Monday morning, and I appreciate being seen for these opportunities.
Going to trudge myself to the gym in a bit, have a client for my part time job, then work 12 hours. Not the ideal Friday but im off all weekend. Hope you all have a fantastic sober Friday!
. I’ve been ordering takeout for the past 3 days so I have no groceries to make breakfast with except Muesli. I also need to go get journals from Muji. I can’t believe I’m complaining about this 
. My problems are not gonna kill me.
ODATT we are all here for u!
proud of you!
Morning Check In 