Thank you so much ! Much appreciated 
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Thank u for being so transparent and honest friend. I totally get it. I really do. Certain foods (pastries, chocolate, icecream, and yogurt oddly enough) send me into binge mode. There just is no moderation for me. Its better to just not have any of it bcuz then i dont tend to obsess over food in general. Im sorry ur feeling so down but be proud that u didnt engage in ur crisp addiction. Im so proud of u for that 
I really hope ur day improves. Hopefully ur morning walk will lift ur spirits. Keep trying friend. Focus on getting back on track and dont let that sadness and shame keep u down hugs
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Hey there Crystal Hun! I see and (think) I know similar pain, been there!
I found Buddhism through 12 step group and it says we all have basic goodness. Know that we are not what we have done we just acted unskilfuly. Please don’t identify with the pain of (insanity- I my case) but see the challenge to grow from it as they say . Staying true to ourselves and learning to love ourselves is a tenent I’ve been tought in CoDa.
Finding love and compassion for yourself and as Pema says **befriending **yourself then you can most love your Son as well and your family and fellowships youre in. You will be strong to help others in their path as well- strong fellowship is the best IMO
Wishing you the best , I know it hurts but tough times don’t last 
Words from psychiatrists:
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get through to the next calm spell.
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everything is workable.
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you don’t have to be everything to everyone.
And one that I use for myself,. Smile you don’t own all the problems in the world.
We are here for you, keep checking in
Lots of hugs ( if appropriate) 
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Checking in day 8
Last night my mom was drunk and it was just really difficult for me to be around so I spent most of my night alone in my room to avoid being around anything she kept talking to me about my situation but I couldn’t really get a word in I know she means well but sometimes it feels like she’s not listening to anything I have to say… I am working on getting back into therapy which has been hard bc most places are making me wait a year til I can see someone has anyone used any online therapy programs they like?
And also it’s so hard to not turn to the one thing I’ve used to numb my anxieties etc. I’m going out with this guy I’ve been seeing and I’ve been feeling really insecure with myself the last 2 days. I got this dress and I tried it on yesterday and I just feel like I look super big in it- don’t get me wrong he’s incredibly kind and honestly the only person I’ve been with intimately sober which is also kind of sad in a way but I have so much anxiety going to meet with him and it’s taking everything in me to not grab a drink before hand to loosen up with what I’ve always deemed my “liquid courage.” I’ve just been chugging water and I had a cup of coffee and that kind of helped with the craving. Has anyone tried affirmations and does it actually work for them? Any examples? Thank you in advance I hope everyone is having a wonderful day 
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Being around ur mom mustve been hard. I have always found it very difficult to see people using drugs (wether i know them or not) as it creates huge anxiety for me. I am huge on affirmations tho and absolutely think they work! Initially i dont always believe the affirmation but words are powerful and they become our truth. There are some chants on the Insight Timer (free meditation app) that i sing along to that just make me feel whole and complete and at peace. Chants for me are like affirmations that are sort of sung over n over to really beautiful music. If u like nature sounds or guided meditations etc, u may like the Insight Timer app. But i will say to myself in the mornings diff afirmations for whatever area i need to uplift myself on. For example: I am healthy and whole. I am successful. I love life and enjoy spreading peace and love to others. I can tackle whatever obstacles i face today. I love myself. Etc. I also do deep breathing that incorporates affirmations. For example on the in breathe i will sat “Inhale love”, and on the out breathe i may say “exhale gratitude” and focus on my breathing and my words. I find it sets the tone for the day. I find breathing works well for anxiety
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Congratulations on your 8 days Kayla. I got on here a little over 3 years ago because I had had enough. Drinking was killing me. My wife and I were drinking buddies forever. She still drinks. The first year or so it didn’t bother me so much. I think because I spent so much time focusing on me. And me not drinking. I never want to go through that first week or first month ever again. Worst time of my life. Anyway…… I’m going to Al-Anon now and I’m learning a lot.
Especially the 3 C’s.
I didn’t cause it.
I can’t control it.
And I can’t cure it.
For some reason it’s been really hard for me lately. I been struggling a lot. But going to a lot of meetings helps.
Have you seen this thread? Are you affected by a loved one who’s an addict?
Check it out if your interested.
I’m glad you’re here.
One of the best things I read in my Courage To Change was. “If I’m focusing on someone else’s drinking, I’m not focusing on my sobriety.”
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Well I’m so glad to hear that it has been working for you! I guess I just feel silly sometimes doing it or like you said it’s hard to believe the words at first. But I will definitely look into that app for sure thank you so much for your recommendation and insight I really appreciate that
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Thank you so much for your insight and guidance I appreciate it, I’ve been trying to find online meetings because I unfortunately totaled my car last year I have tried AA before and I didn’t feel like it was right for me at the time I wasn’t really religious as I am now and also struggled with coming to terms with the fact that I had a problem. I’ve been drinking since I was 12 and I’m 27 now I tried AA when I was 19 and again when I was 21 but I also think I didn’t have a good crowd around me often I was scrutinized because everyone thought I was too young to have an actual problem and would constantly pressure me to drink. But I’m in a place now where I feel like going to meetings again could be really beneficial. I haven’t checked out that thread but I definitely will thank you for sharing the 3 C’s and the other thread as well I appreciate the help
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Checking in. Wind is intense here in northern New Mexico lately (30-40 mph with 70 mph gusts), which can be anxiety producing for me; it makes everything that much more challenging when working with the horses, they are more “up”
and it affects my sense of hearing and sometimes sight as the dust can blow into my eyes and face. Not a complaint so much as recognition that it’s a trigger. I’m staying at the ranch while the owners are away, and there is alcohol in the house which in the past I’d like to drink. But I am finding I don’t want it. I’ve had enough day ones already. Having a hangover or being tired is not going to keep me safer around these big babies 
. I am also aware other triggers are coming with the warm, dry weather (cold beer and hot weather is for sure a trigger) so am staying mindful of that. Attended my Tempest meeting this morning and will journal today for something different in my sober toolbox. I so appreciate this community.
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I was struggling this time, I felt some pain and she had to give me 4 injections until everything was numb enough. I started shaking and felt the panic rising.
I could stop it before it got so bad that I have to leave. They were so sweet and tried to work as fast as possible
Now half my face is numb and I’m drooling because I have zero control 
And I sound really funny. I have to shop some groceries like this now 
But it’s done! Now all teeth are happy 
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I’m thankful today for several big things!
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Today is my 90th day sober! Can’t believe how fast it feels like it’s gone just living one day at a time.
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I submitted my final paper for my grad class this semester last night, one more class to go/11 weeks until I have a masters degree!
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My baseball team is actively embracing the power of positivity. Saturday we took the reigning state champions to extra innings and should have had them but lost by 1 in the 9th. Didn’t get the outcome we wanted but it was a phenomenal week for them. They won 3 out of 4 games including beating a 5A school which is the highest division here, we are 4A.
So thankful for all these great things and how far I’ve come from where I was! Have a wonderful week everyone!
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550 Days check in 
The sun is shining 
on this beautiful day.
I had to really push myself to go for my morning swim, so glad I did go. I felt so good after.
Then I can’t home and decided it would be good for me to get it in the sun for a walk and get a coffee out.
So I did. I’m so glad I did.
I feel good for it. In my life there is alot going on so it was very nice to keep to my plan instead of letting myself down as well as getting out and actually enjoying it. I would never have known how good it would of felt if I did not go.
Had some cravings and triggers but I had to not entertain these thoughts, why torture myself like that.
Have a blessed day 
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Checking in at Day 43!
I breathe such a sigh of relief because I am so grateful for this new life I have created for myself. I let go of so much baggage with one simple decision, to quit drinking. I pray my body will fully heal itself from all I have put it through. Wishing everyone else the same. God bless. 
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40 days. It’s nice to surprise myself with how well I’m doing, vs. the old cycle of continuously letting myself and others down.
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Day 2095.
First day at new job today. I don’t like first days at new jobs 
. But it went well. So much information but I liked the people and I feel welcome 
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@Butterflymoonwoman thank you for your much appreciated compassion 
@Jwfletcher4792 congrats on 90 days 
@Twizzlers congrats on 550 days and for the swim 
and walk in the sun 
@ArtMama congrats on 40 days
@Lola I’m glad your first day went well
966 days no alcohol.
431 days no cocaine.
53 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Slept long and late, due to the sugar I consumed yesterday, but I’ve managed to do all of my daily routine and rituals. Morning routine, meditations, both walks, etc.
TW: disordered eating.
Still reflecting on my reset. Need to get the idea of any real food out of my head, for now. Not sure how I will navigate any family meals that may come up yet, as they have also been a catalyst for derailing me in the past, Xmas for example. Depending whether or not my youngest step-brother is up for his birthday on the 17th, there may be a meal to navigate then, following that, there aren’t any occasions until Father’s Day in mid June. I know I’ll need to learn how to eat real food in moderation one day, because I know living off meal replacement shakes isn’t ideal, but I need to lose the rest of the weight first, and I’m clearly not ready to moderate with it yet.
The weather here has been very Spring-like today, and it’s predicted to be the same tomorrow, so my mood has been a bit brighter too.
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May I ask what you mean with real meals. Do you want to avoid them? I found that by skipping meals or not eating real food, so mostly snacking, I tend to eat a lot more because I am not full. Probably it’s just a misunderstanding of mine.
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(I love your passenger cow - so cute!)
Checking in at 18 days. Feeling a rhythm happening for two reasons:
- I am digging into my recovery through my stepwork in my SA group, and
- I have found an emotional need I didn’t recognize before: I need reassurance that I am ok, things are not falling apart, and I am not being given more than I can handle. I am grateful to my wife and to my therapist for helping me see that. I have adopted a new mantra that I tell myself daily: “ things are not falling apart, and I am not being given more than I can handle; I have 9 things I’m doing today and that is what I can control; the rest is beyond my control and that’s ok”. I’m finding it unusually reassuring and helpful. It’s weird - it’s like I’ve found a nugget of gold after digging and digging and digging for months.
Take care folks. You are good people and you deserve safe, sober lives where you can be your full selves 
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Another check in
My Dr said “only eat when your cheek isn’t numb any more”.
Did I understand what she said? Yes.
Did I eat sandwiches anyway because I was veeery hungry? Also yes.
Is my bottom lip bleeding? Maybe.
Ach Sabrina 
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I am soo happy for u! Im really glad that u found something that is working for u 
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