Checking in on day 21. I am so much happier than 3 weeks ago! Cravings have mostly gone but I’m still having alcohol related thoughts about a couple of events coming up this summer which are always very heavy drinking affairs. I haven’t worked out what I’m going to do about them yet, but I have time to solve that.
Today I head off on a business trip for 3 days. Just about to head to the airport and navigate all the opportunities to drink alcohol with no one but myself to be accountable to. In prior attempts to stay sober this trip would have been a perfect excuse to drink with no one to judge me, but I feel different this time. Being here has really helped me feel accountable to myself but also to all of you whom I’m on this journey with.
I’m looking forward to getting home on Friday feeling good (rather than hungover and anxious) and packing for holiday starting Sunday.
Off to New Mexico soon with my doggos. I have a full heart and commitment to staying AF. Will check in later, hoping to make it to Indiana for the first leg
@Twizzlers Thanks for checking on me friend. I have a late shift tonight so I can sleep in and I did. Slept very long in fact, so long that Luna came and got me out of bed this morning . I need spring and I need to move in my personal life. Small steps yes, which brings me to… @SoberWalker I made Luna part of a project too when I got her and her sister Rosa in November 2006. And I did start nursing school and actually learn a craft just then too. Looking back that was the first project to better myself, at 40, long before I realized I was addicted. @james83 & @Hoss Safe sober travels to the both of you!
Weirdly at the gym yesterday one of the regular female members walked past as I was deadlifting, stopped and said in a really flirtatious manner that I smelled really nice and then brushed her hand past my bum (there was plenty of space to avoid contact) as she walked away and nothing was said or done. This sparked a complaint to the manager by another member who was s given a final warning for making flirtatious comments to one of the ladies a few weeks ago.
So a quiet gym session turned into a huge ordeal yesterday and all I did was lift some weights whilst wearing a nice fragrance. I just hope for a quieter day today! I don’t need the added drama!
I have a good feeling about today.
Feel energetic, revitalised, ready to go and smash my goals. I had a weird dream last night that I was drinking again and whilst drunk I started self mutilating.
Obviously my subconscious is trying to remind me that drink is bad for me, I honestly don’t recall the last time I actually thought about having a drink.
Things will get better friend. Or maybe not, who knows. One thing I am absolutely totally 100% sure of is that indulging in our addictions wouldn’t help. It would just put us much much deeper in the hole. The only way out is through and all that. Keep going.
I’m glad you were just sleeping in
I love my cats so much, one of them, Basil, he wakes me up every morning if I’m not already up by 5am.
It used to be a little annoying I must say especially when I was really low and depressed and all I wanted to do was sleep all day and all night. He actually saved me by waking me stopping me from rotting away in bed and they kept me strong as they can’t feed and brush themselves and they needed me. They definitely saved me lol nowadays I wake at 4am waiting for them to wake up so I don’t disturb them on the bed.
It’s okay to be kind to yourself, take the rest you need, do nothing if that is what you need.
It’s okay to take a break to get re energised get re balanced.
Self care
It’s okay to have these days, just remember the feelings are temporary and this time will pass. I wish the day is kind to you
You will get through
Just want to show you some support when you are feeling like this. You always support others.
Maybe a cooking day with Ms. Monkey will help.
You know we are here for you if you need us
Day 1,013 clean and sober. Today’s my Friday and I’m ready lol. Work has been exhausting and a little overwhelming but I’m grateful for a job. Still raining here in San Diego but it’s a good thing. Have a great day, love you guys
Day 5! I’m feeling better but that could be due to drinking a gallon of water a day. Raining and lightning here in Missouri. My favorite kind of weather.
Day 296. Messaged some of the ppl who have messaged me for tattoos, and have several who want something done this weekend when I go home. Then Monday I have two tattoos. I’m excited and it feels good to be back doing what I love and still achieving my other goals. Been hitting the gym just like I said but it has been rough lol. Have a clean sterile place to tattoo here in Plattsburgh, got all my sterile equipment. I’m ready to rock, and thing with me and the girl I’ve been seeing are going well. Taking it a day at a time and pushing through. Much love, this is kind of a silly question but I can’t post on the art page bc I was the last three replies, If someone could go reply to me or share some of your art work so I can continue sharing my tattoos I’d really appreciate it.
Checking in on day 326.
I just checked my messenger spam folder and there is a message there from an old boyfriend from 33 years ago. He got in touch to apologise for being a dick to me way back then. My mind is actually blown right now! It was so long ago that I didn’t even remember his name.
Other than that all is well here. It’s very windy and a bit chilly so I’m staying indoors much of the day. My living room is south facing so I get plenty of bright sunlight on a day like today. Just having an extra cup of coffee for now.
My daughter was convinced the cat was pregnant and she dreamed about little red kitties. But that seems impossible because Wickie never went outside from her formal house.
. I need spring and I need to move in my personal life. Small steps yes, which brings me to…
and they kept me strong as they can’t feed and brush themselves and they needed me. They definitely saved me lol nowadays I wake at 4am waiting for them to wake up 
so I don’t disturb them on the bed.
this gave me a good laugh!
but not red with very short legs like Wickie 