I wonder too how much of it is just generalized apathy as my emotions are resetting…
I absolutely felt a loss when it came to my sense of identity. Even when it came to my job, i questioned if i was even able to do it anymore. Things change sooo much when we get clean and sober. Our whole outlook on life changes. Emotions change. Everything! How we used to function as addicts and alcoholics no longer apply bcuz we want to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit. Being clean and sober is like learning to live all over again. In alot of ways i didnt even know who i was either. What i liked, didnt like, what my dreams were, my passions. I began the process of self discovery by asking myself questions (even basic questions like whats my fav food, fav flower, fav music etc), sitting with my thoughts and trying new things (hobbies) to see what i liked… all while being gentle with myself thru the entire process. And now i have a somewhat decent idea of who i am and what i stand for, but it took some time. I still wonder if my job is something i can sustain long term or if i want to keep doing this type of work, but unfortunately i dont have the $$ just yet to go back to school for a diff career path. But time will tell. In early recovery i wanted everything to happen now and right away and unfortunately it doesnt always work like that (like with my job).
The “voice” does lessen, at least for me. I rarely hear it anymore. And when i do its very manageable to work thru it. Be proud of urself for overcoming that voice, bcuz that sounded pretty intense there. I only have 432 days but i have heard that the voice kind of sticks around for a long time (i could be wrong) but i think it truly depends on how much work is being done everyday on recovering. For example… the days i do my morning recovery routine, are also the days where i dont get easily triggered or have thoughts of using. When i forget to put in the work bcuz life is busy or this n that… i usually pay for it by having using thoughts. So i imagine that the more daily work we do on our recoveries, the less that voice presents itself. Thats why when i notice myself slipping back into old ways of thinking, or im gwtting cravings to use more often, i know i have to go back to the basics of my recovery and dig deep and pull myself out of it. We will probably always have to work on our recoveries. But its much better to work on that than having to work on getting clean and sober again.
I liked what you said and did. Watching a cloud go by is a great idea…for slowing us down
If you don’t mind me asking, what is your routine?
I exercise for about 25 min every morning, journal three things I am thankful for and read a daily meditation from “The Language of Letting Go”. I have been meaning to get up earlier and meditate, but that hasn’t worked out. I get up at 4:30 already.
Bones 80…i hope they can find the problem and fix it quickly. No fun!!!
Day 9
Checking in to be sober today
- from alcohol
- from toxic relationships
- from eating drama
Having even less taste then yesterday,
feeling shaky and weak (thank you Mr. Virus!)
Noticed that I didn’t take enough time for my morning writing rituals during last months. Will integrate this in my morning routine again as soon as possible. Atm my morning routine is sleeping
Much love
Binx, Im glad you are here. When i read your posts I…i always feel that you care and are genuine. Stress is so tough… Walking…shower eating…mediation…all good things to try.
We are all in this odaat.
I like ur routine! I dont think theres a wrong or right way of doing a routine as long as it gives u the benefits that ur looking for.
My morning routine consists of:
- Grabbing my coffee and finding a generally quiet spot (usually the bedroom)
- I read the Just for today daily reflection from the NA book
- I read the daily reflection from Jesus Calling book (i do believe in God but there are other spiritual daily reflection books out there related to Higher Power etc)
- I pray to my Higher Power which is probably the most important aspect of my routine bcuz it helps remind me to turn my thinking and acting over to that HP. It sets the tone for the entire day, guides me in my recovery and shows me how to stay clean
- I sit in silence for a few min listening to calming music or nature sounds or I will do a quick meditation from the Insight Timer app. This calms my mind and slows me down
- And then I exercise at some point thruout my day
I always try to Pause when agitated and stay connected to my HP thruout the day. I find if i start getting irritable or stressed or highly emotional, its a recipe for disaster. And it usually comes with thoughts of using.
Don’t do that to you, your problems that lead to drinking are as valid as everyone else’s are.
And you’re not a fraud at all!
We’re all in this together. For me this here is family. You can come here anytime and talk about everything that bothers you. Nobody is more or less important. Okay?
Welcome back to the family
Thank you!!
I Love your routine. I think I need to slow mine down a little. A little more time in peace and meditation. I kinda rush through mine.
Holy shit im in a webinar about ChatGPT and its a powerful tool. AI will take over the world sooner than expected. Imma play on the free version later and ask it how can i combat alcoholism…more to come
AI freaks me out, I don’t know why. We invented an AI that is able to think for us. I don’t like that.
My initial assessment is you still need critical thinking because the info chatgpt spews out can be wrong. Crazy twilight zone stuff
I am truly grateful to be sober and found this community some years back now. On and off. I learnt a lot.
I am grateful for all the support I had during these past weeks from many people on here. Also my family. You cannot chose your family and there were and are times I wished I could chose them. But I am sure they think the same
Anyhow. I finished my 3rd workweek here and have a new colleague in my office. She is only staying 6 weeks but we are coming along really well. I have now my desk with a view on the Mediterranean sea which I would like to admire more but I really have to work. Well, work is getting better. I changed my rhythm, had to and for the moment it is okay. I am okay. I will talk to my boss here next week what her plans are and for how long I shall stay.
I have a hike planned for tomorrow. It might be the same path up and down but I think I’ll do it. Weather will be nice I think.
Have a good and sober Friday.
@Juli1 congratulations on your 9 days. And hope you get better soon. Is this a new version or are we still around Omicron? I completely forgot about Rona.
Edit: you know you are spammed with recruiters writing you on LinkedIn. So I answered one today that once I’ll be back, I’d like to talk to her. Because why not. Just checking. Doesn’t hurt and now that I gain some extra knowledge in GMP which is maybe good to have.
Downloaded the ChatGPT app and asked “how can i personally overcome alcoholism?” This was the response in under 30 seconds…
Overcoming alcoholism can be a difficult process, but there are steps you can take to achieve and maintain sobriety:
-
Acknowledge your problem: Admitting you have a problem with alcohol is the first step toward recovery.
-
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a professional counselor for support. You can also attend support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous.
-
Make a plan: Develop a plan for sobriety, including setting goals and identifying triggers that may lead to relapse. You may also want to consider treatment options, such as inpatient or outpatient rehabilitation.
-
Avoid triggers: Avoid situations and people that may lead to relapse or trigger alcohol cravings.
-
Practice stress management: Find healthy ways to manage stress, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
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Take care of your physical and mental health: Maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and attend to any mental health issues that may be contributing to your alcohol use.
Remember, the road to recovery is a journey, and it may not be easy. But with time, effort, and support, you can overcome alcoholism and reclaim your life.
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Thank you @Butterflymoonwoman there is so much wisdom in your words. I am a sponge right now trying to soak up everything that people further along in their journey can share with me. The patience thing really struck a chord, I want to know who I am and what I like and change jobs and be healthier and be more present and master meditation and have less social anxiety and connect with a sponsor and cook more and read more quit lit and make more money and yadda yadda yadda the list goes on, and I want it all NOW! And you’re right it’s easier to address these things than these things plus the drinking. I hope I never have to have another first day. I unnerve myself sometimes because the first time I tried to get sober I lasted six months. I tell myself it’s different this time because I was only going to meetings then and not taking the holistic approach I am now.
Your words give me hope.
“Arcturus” is the latest shit
I don’t know what it was, it was like hell but my body is fighting day by day and I had 2 nights with deep sleep. Will need more time and will take it.
Glad to read your latest post about how life is going in France… I knew you will aclimate.
Nice to read about your new morning routine too…
I am planning a restart too.
Including lot of softness and resting.
Missed that in the past… As you already reminded me.
Big hug
Day 8 no marijuana
Day 168 no alcohol
I feel great today
I slept in mad late
I needed it
My wifey wakes me up everyday at 10am for meds for the past week
It’s helping my med levels even out
Have a wonderful day everyone
This describes me. I’m a very ambitious person from a professional standpoint. I’ve had to train myself to push off. I’m seeing how much of this is a journey, and what you need and experience along that path comes to pass with each step forward. I have no idea what’s to come for me, but my impatience has turned into peace and excitement for all the possibilities. Recovery is different than not drinking. Reconnecting with my spiritual being will be part of my day to day always.