Day 0
Addictive mind told me it would be fine.
I don’t have control.
Feeling like shit, of cause.
Hard pressure of getting my stuff together finally! 
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Day 18 AF
Feeling really good and positive.
Hope everyone has a great weekend
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Did you want to feel drunk or did you just feel like having one drink?
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Hmm both…
My biggest trigger last months are relaxed moods. I came from a real challenging 90 minutes intermediate yoga class.
I took it to easy once more.
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You have to accept that you cannot have alcohol to make it through. I relapsed so many times through half hearted attempts and giving into my addictive mind. It was only when I accepted that -none- was my only option that I started to feel different. Are you willing to accept that?
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Day 16. I woke up with a cold (thanks kids) then dropped my car at the garage and did not have to worry about whether I was still over the limit at 8am for once. Grateful for that.
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One of the women at a smart meeting I used to attend had made a sign for the inside of her front door that said STOP just to remind her not to go out to buy wine. You need to break the idea that you reward yourself with alcohol for doing an intensive workout. HALT is always worthwhile going through. There is so much you could have done instead of drinking.
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Nope. None of us do. That’s because we’re addicted. That’s why we’re here. Addiction by definition includes loss of control. The only control we do have is abstinence. Once I learned that, staying sober became a lot easier.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1,006. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Ditto what Mno says. It will never be fine, for any of us. I am so glad that I finally never fool myself that I can have just one / it will be OK, etc. One = blackouts, vomiting, hiding receipts and cans, being unable to hold my life together as I want it (eventually, this may not happen the very first time I drink again, but happen it will). And the craving to have more after having one is just physically and mentally unbearable. The easier route is not to drink at all. Truly. And this will click for you, eventually.
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Day 948
Husband was off today, so he researched and found a Thai cafe for us to go to. There we bumped into a old student (fellow mum) and so we all ate together. On the bicycle ride there he said, “Even though I keep saying the wrong thing, I’m impressed you don’t drink” which was nice to hear. I do see him trying, he doesn’t always try in the way I want him to try, but I can’t deny he does try, especially on his days off. I just have to keep trying to change dynamics little by little I guess.
My sponsor cancelled on me for the second time tonight. I hope it is just her being busy from starting her new job, and not her not being a reliable sponsor. But she has been very reliable for about two months, so probably just an adjustment period.
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Checking in 1y and 2 months. Cant belive how far I come and that Im doing it. Im really sober. And Im so happy for it!
Having a bit bad day today. Not thinking about drinking, I sometimes do but I play the tape, and it usually helps.
But its this anxiety, or at least I think it is, gets a hold of me, not so much/often nowadays, but today Ohh Im sure Im going to die something is terribly wrong. I try to get myself back to remembering this is the anxiety giving you all this shit symptoms and pains. And my brain: Is it? Or is it acutally death just around corner.
So I desided to have a cheatday and eat all crap I want!
Otherwise I feel safe in my sobriety. I got appointment for hartcheck next month, just to check because of a lot of pain. In may I got appoinment for Adult children of alcoholics, Im curriouse what its about.
My daugther have got in a situation that pisses me of so much and feeling terrible. Its nothing her fault. So Im glad Im sober to stand in this situation and with clear head. I know what I would like to do about it, and drinking I would have without a heartbeat, but it would not end good for me, laws and this. Just have to trust the prosess.
Hope you all have a great day, and take good care for yourself. Its no one just like you, thats why you are perfect!
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Day 1008 clean and sober today. I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys 
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I shut down the last thread 
felt like a mic drop… if I’d known I might have written something more inspiring than I shouldn’t eat candy late
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I know… You are right.
And yes, there are so many things I am interested in, I could do.
I had these 5 months last year and I changed so many things during that time.
Thank you very much Menno… 
Thank you… 
For sure it is.
There were so many clicks…
But the moments I am breaking down there is someone else in my head. I should build up a picture of a creature as a symbol for my addictive voice, as Allen Carr recommends.
Yes I am… I want to, I have to, I can…
Thank you all… Your messages all have the same tenor and I appreciate that, as you are all experts 
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Checking in on St. Patty’s Day or, more importantly, my Day26! congrats to everyone who will stay sober today. The desire isnt strong today.
And can I just say my skin looks soo amazing?! The dark circles under my eyes are so much lighter and my skin overall just looks more vibrant.
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Day 2 of 365.
Youtube free 1 of 365.
Yes i had a setback, but i’m not starting my counter over after this past one. I’m going to just count forward. I had a call with a porn reboot specialist, it was a really nice call. It come down to whether i really want to do the program ($500 a month) or just continue to gather information, as i have all these years, fighting to master discipline, alone. I just dont see that as a solution either. The last 2 days i’ve woken up and immediately put headphones in on spiritual things to get my mind on better choices for the day. I am at war and working on a forever character flaw. I have good days and bad days. I was telling someone on another chat, i’ve lost 20 lbs in the last 4 months and i’m disciplined when it comes to food choices/how long i fast (16-19 hours normally) why can’t i be disciplined in this area??? One day at a time, i will get free. I just have to be consistent, everyday in all areas.
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Day 167
My mood keeps on getting better. I’m not the same as I use to be yet but I’m getting there.
I did more cleaning today, we call it “Frühjahrsputz”. Basically a deepclean of everything when spring arrives.
I donated my tv because I don’t use it at all and it sucks a lot of power so…bye bye little fella.
I replaced it with plants. I now need more plants because I have more space 
I’m going to be the crazy plant lady someday.
30 minutes ago I was thinking about ordering food with some wine. It’s coming back into my mind but I don’t want it there. Yes, I thought about it. I thought about the feelings I have after drinking. I felt miserable this last week and I don’t want to continue this.
I ordered a pizza and 4 diffetent types of turmeric shots. All healthy and stuff. The first one’s name is “Burning Man Shot”, its ingredients are ginger, kombucha, lemon, cayenne and oregano. A wild mix, zero alcohol. I’m still crying but it was healthy…
I’m waiting for the oven to reach the temperature I want and then YUM.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 
. 5
Ok maybe I was wrong with my last post. Don’t get me wrong, I only speaking from my point of view and telling to others, suffering people, who struggling now (like me, I am too struggling, otherwise I would not be here, I guess / or I just really like You @all after all ;)) so back to the point - speaking to others that complaining is BAD?? , no ,that was not what I wanted to say after all.
I think complaining, sometimes is what we need, to talk. It is therapeutic. It helps. I was talking more from philosophical point of view and after all, look at me… After all those philosophies I am not doing great at all…
So just know, I am struggling, A LOT and I guess my methods not workong at all.
Just wanted to correct myself, because sometimes I talk too much and need to keep my mouth shut on certain points. But I guess I take this group as a therapy for myself. It really helps to diary myself, fo watch myself from the distance and analyse my toughs and actions.
I really don’t want to affect anyone in a negative way.
Thank You
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Checking in on Day 397
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