Just a check in - 24 days AF.
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Days
166 substance free
81 self harm free
128 not restricting food
Today was ok. I let the kids stay home from school. They deserve a break every now and again.
I worked a late shift, which is mostly cleaning, and the shift i prefer on all accounts EXCEPT for missing afternoons with my kids!
I didnât get a chance to eat until a little after 10pm because i cant have gluten, and there isnât any food at my job that is gluten free, except a rice crispy treat, and they have too much sugar for me.
But when i got home i made some packaged flavoured rice and some spicy chicken sausage. I ate 2 big bowls! And Iâm kinda feeling overfull now⊠But i figure itâs because I hadnât eaten all dayâŠ
I set up a new (to her) bed idea for my little one with ASD. itâs her bed, in a tent. She seems to like it and was excitedly putting toys in there with her bed.
I would love to get the âcubby bedâ for her, but man are they expensive! I think about 5k 
unless insurance will approve it⊠And honestly, they probably wonât, so Iâll start saving what i can. Maybe they have a payment planâŠ
I have had a few struggles with sh thoughts and impulses, but Iâve been able to work through them. And i am settling in to a âstraight edgeâ âboringâ person now, and Iâm really happy about it!
I never understood why people said that âsoberâ is the same as âboringâ⊠Maybe it was just the people i was around, and maybe they said it because they werenât at a place in their lives where they could be sober⊠Not sure.
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Day 17
Sipping a nice hot Sleepy Time Tea right now. Itâs 12:35am, and Iâm nowhere close to tired. Fortunately, Iâll be able to get out for a while tomorrow (later today, I guess) when Brian comes by. Nothing really to report, I just wanted to check in to maintain the daily ritual. Healthy habits are keeping me (mostly) sane right now. Have a good sober morning/evening all! 
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How did the test went? Succeeded?
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#Day 1649 
Weekend! 
Do not have to work today, happy with that!
Goldsmith class was such fun yesterday, busy with making a silver ring.
Today? Going to help my mother in law with moving some furniture. And maybe later going to the trift shop to chill.
Have a good weekend all of you!
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I think I did oke. Results in a week
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Half way okayâŠ
Had to reset once more and that makes me feel like an idiot. Getting all my stuff done, so why not staying sober. I did 5 months⊠So I can! I have to⊠Drinking is soo bad especially for my mental health.
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Congratulations on day 17 my friend!
Doing great Mark! 
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Morning check in 
Feeling rather in decisive today ⊠So not going to think to hard.
I think a long walk with Polly, a quick hoover and mop and see where the day takes me.
Slight head ache which Iâm sure itâs because I had the weirdest dream. It will pass.
I like to plan my days. But today Iâll see where the day takes me.
I have to do my tidy every night before bed, I cannot wake up to yesterdayâs mess the next day. And every morning this makes it so simple to go over. I canât leave the house until itâs done. So I always come in to a clean home, wake to a clean home and sleep to a clean home. This works for me mentally.
And it really makes everything Simple for me to just have it done like this. ( This really helped when my mental health dips to be able to manage the simple stuff )
So Iâll get up. I usually get up at 4-5am. Been awake since 6am. Tidy, shower and get into nature. Thatâs healing all by self just being outside. And hopefully, even just for a little while, the sun may shine 
.
The day will be what ever I make of it.
Have a blessed and sober day all 
Edit: may be so a bit of gardening, although the weather is still quite rainy I can get stuff prepared.
I haven no motivation today, so here goes to just putting one foot in front of the other.
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Have had cravings on and off for a few daysâŠcraving anything. I have no current vices so not having anythjng is new.
Its good to be all natural but man its challenging đ©”
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1386
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
First time ever I was asked to participate in creative therapy yesterday. I knew I had an aversion to this this kind of stuff, ever since I was a little kid. But I didnât expect it to give me the worst anxiety attack I ever experienced in my life, even though it was short lived. Took me right back to my first year of primary school. Always hated creative classes. Food for thought.
Pic is my class at age about 7. I loved the teacher lots. She was in a bad car crash and was out for half a year or so. Only seeing now how much I missed her. 50 years on.
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Glad the trauma reminded you also of something that made you happy in the past . You have the happiest smile of any of the children in the classroom. Sorry about the panic attack. Those things are nasty. Big hugs.
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Day 24,
I overslept today. Yesterday was such an emotional day for me so I decided to not fast that day. My roommate actually ended up having a party at the apartment till 11am without my knowledge or consent and he left the apartment a messâactually it was his best friend who cleaned up after him. I felt so disrespected and violated in my own home. Not angry anymore, just sad that he fucked it up because that means he has to leave. His choice to be reckless just made his life substantially harder and itâs painful to see.
Glad I had a best friend to go to when all of this was going down. He had me over with his boyfriend, made us tea that he purchased from Tasmania, got us brownies from a cafe I love, lit a scented candle from Le Labo (highly recommend their fragrances), and played the most calming music in his beautifully decorated apartment. Then I had dinner with another friend and it was great to catch upâweâre thinking about moving back to New York.
Then I had a pretty stressful conversation with my aunt. My family stresses me out, it seems like they always want something that I canât give them, my trust. Especially now that Iâve stopped seeking their validation, they crave my trust more and more. But itâs hard to give them that when my family trades in secrets. She basically wanted me to know that my grandmother is nearing the end of her life and that sheâs asking for me.
I ended the night volunteering at my friendâs event. For years, sheâs been talking about creating an intentional space for those on the margins to gather and dance. Very proud of her now that itâs off the ground. We had a very strict door policy where attendees had to read our rules and agree to them before we let them in. We took it very seriously and we made it a point to reject anyone who didnât do this. Unfortunately sober old me couldnât stay and party like I used to. I was tired 
A friend took this picture while I was unaware
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I like this. It reminds me of The tomorrow man theory that somebody posted here a while back. I like to read it from time to time.
Today, right here, you are who you are. Tomorrow, you will be who you will be. Each and every night, we lie down to die, and each morning we arise, reborn. Now, those who are in good spirits, with strong mental health, they look out for their Tomorrow Man. They eat right today, they drink right today, they go to sleep early todayâall so that Tomorrow Man, when he awakes in his bed reborn as Today Man, thanks Yesterday Man. He looks upon him fondly as a child might a good parent. He knows that someoneâhimselfâwas looking out for him. He feels cared for, and respected. Loved, in a word. And now he has a legacy to pass on to his subsequent selvesâŠ. But those who are in a bad way, with poor mental health, they constantly leave these messes for Tomorrow Man to clean up. They eat whatever the hell they want, drink like the night will never end, and then fall asleep to forget. They donât respect Tomorrow Man because they donât think through the fact that Tomorrow Man will be them. So then they wake up, new Today Man, groaning at the disrespect Yesterday Man showed them. Wondering why does that guyâmyselfâkeep punishing me? But they never learn and instead come to settle for that behavior, eventually learning to ask and expect nothing of themselves. They pass along these same bad habits tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, and it becomes psychologically genetic, like a curse.
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Checking in day 202! Off work today, but I did get really behind on notes from my part time job so going to dedicate a few hours there. Going to try to use it as motivation to not let it happen again weâll see- progress not perfection right 
Afterwards Iâm going for a hike with a friend, and then bowling with a group. Iâm proud of myself for continuing to make plans and be social- I can tend to be an isolator when I want. Yesterday I went to see a friend who I hadnât talked to since my break up, and she kept emphasizing how much she wished I had reached out to her for support. A good lesson that our people tend to want to be there for us.
Anyway, today should end up being a great one. I hope itâs the same for you, sober comrades. Have a super sober Saturday 
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I didnât realize I was effected by it as well until today got a moon phase app and it notifies me when the phases are changing lol. Itâs crazy how I can be going through stuff and then I get a âdingâ and Iâm like yeah⊠checks out 
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Day 1,016 clean and sober. Today is my Monday and I donât know how to feel about that yet I hope everyone has an amazing day today, love you guys
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Even more in common then I have a Barnowl sleeve tattoo on my left arm. I really like owls!
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