Checking in to close out day 46.
Worked on the portable chicken coop today and the chickens approve of the upgrades.
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Earlier check in because I am annoyed and grumpy and need to vent.
Nearing 25 days AF.
Really thinking about how relaxing it would be to open a bottle of wine to get through frustrations right now.
I wonāt.
I donāt have any wine.
And I know these thoughts are illogical because, well you all know.
Stillā¦. it sucks.
Thanks for the space to vent.
Take care all!
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Stupid insignificant daily crap with my loving husband of almost 34 years. We often have different opinions on priorities with the house, and today it was landscaping. So stupid, and true 1st world āproblemsā. @Cjp, I really should not complain. But I do. Figure it is better to vent in cyber space than here.
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It helps to get it out! Just dont drink over it.
Communicating is a tricky tool sometimes even when youve been together for years
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Chicken coopā¦i like it!
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Hey sobriety fam 
Just checking in today.
Slept in until 11am, my ideal is waking up at 8am and sleeping by 12.30am but my body seems to need rest lately, Iām not getting much off work. Work starts at 5pm and finishes 11pm (if possible) but I usually browse youtube until 2-3 in the morning as a way of unwinding, hence the later wake up timesā¦
Yesterday was odd, I considered us friends once but my manager said something offensive a few weeks back and even though weāre on good terms when we meet now, I havenāt fully forgiven him since. He didnāt seem as engaging yesterday at first and my discomfort grew as we both did our things, I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown I just didnāt want to be there. We later chatted and it all went away again, but something strange Iāve noticed is that I care 100Ć more when someone I trust or like says something remotely offensive, than if someone I donāt care so much about says the worst of things. Example: my mother and father are polar opposites. My mother is love and my father hate, literally haha. Heās such an egocentric asshole that any negativity goes in one ear and out the other and a lot more is tolerated than anyone else really, but when something slipped out of my motherās mouth years ago it still hasnāt been forgottenā¦ Of course thatās not her and weāre on great terms, but maybe I accept individuals based on what I expect from them, and when thatās broken itās much more difficult to accept.
But thatās comparatively trivial, just something on my mind. So whatās really bothering me? I feel like Iām ontop but only just, and lagging behindā¦
Wellā¦ I want to change my sleep to a healthy routine, ideally as mentioned earlier. I want to meditate more, ideally daily. I want to eat maybe less but more often, largely linked to my off sleeping routine. I want to prioritize my uni study and things which need prioritizing. I want to train and exercise regularly, ideally daily. I want to socialize as much as possible, and get myself to date and open up to intimacy, I donāt want to be lonesome forever. Intimacy is a big hurdle for me due to a traumatic childhood.
That being said, these are all being worked on, and gradually consciously improvedā¦ Especially this year, change really has come in leaps and bounds! Iām a different, so much more mature me, only I could see the extent of inner healing and growth.
So where to from here? ā¦today?
- Cold shower
- Brunch
- Meditate
- Sort out urgent uni stuff
- Shop
- Sign up to kickboxing
- Respond to fam/friend messages
- ā¦depends how much I can do before work anyways
Thatās why I need to sleep and get up earlier. Iāll start tonight by ONLY using the phone for sleep videos if I need it and do nothing which procrastinates sleeping on time. And wake up with a cold shower tomorrow at 8am even if Iām tired just to teach my body that healthy routineā¦
Iām sure that alone will change a lot for a start.
So anyways, thanks for taking the time to read a little snapshot of my life if you did, Iām glad weāre both here, and hope today is a meaningful one, as every day should be if you zoom out to look at the big pictureā¦ What are we really here for?
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Sounds like you have a good plan. Take the next right action.
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Wow huge congratulations on 11 months!!! So proud of you Bill!
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Just want to share this. I feel good about 47 days soberā¦but i tell yaā¦after this tia health scareā¦it showed me i do want to live. With depressionā¦i have wondered at times. Im trying to get healthy and sobriety is huge to that. The stakes just got really highā¦drinking and poor diet could kill me at this point. I know life holds no promises.
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Day 167 substance free. Bedtime for me.
Good night yāall 
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#Day 1650 
Turned the clock on hour forward and had to go out of bed early. Going to the zoo today with my very talkative aunt. I always try to do something active with her because Iāll die mentally when I have to sit next to her and just listen.
The weatherforecast is bad: 90% rain, and loads more then just a drop.
Blah! 
Had fun in the triftshop yesterday. Found a curtain ring hanging as it was a wooden bracelet at the accesoire wall. It was priced ā¬1,95 and also had an alarm tag on it
Enjoy your sunday TS people, despide the weather. If you look carefully there is fun and humor in every day
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361 days and my brain has been a bit of a dick to me lately. Last night I needed to go and clear my head and I went for a long walk on a Saturday night along our busy water front and I found my brain missing the nights out. I not so much the booze or how the booze made me feel, but the socialising, the friends. I also have had 2 years out of hospitality and that was a really social job. I made a tonne of friends and it was almost toxic the work culture but there was some fun in there too.
So today at the gym, seeing this message on the mirror really felt good. I wouldnāt be in the gym on a Sunday morning if I wasnāt sober. This year has been tough at times, but so much greater than if I didnāt take control of my life again. One day at a time friends
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Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
We call daylight saving time summertime over here. Wishing for a hint of summer, now summertime just started. Wish I could sleep some more but will make do with this. Iām tired.
Well. Nothing that can be done but go one one day at a time and work on a better healthier me. One day at a time. Substance free. X
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Huge congrats Billy on your 11 months 
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Day 359ā¦feeling joy but low.
Had a nice day on the water stand up paddle boarding with my daughter 
Bless you all, my sober fam!
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Day 957
Waiting for the kids to arrive back from their trip. It has been a chilly and rainy and quiet day. Looking forward to having them back. I suspect I will have empty nest syndrome real bad when the time comes.
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Day 1,017 clean and sober, Day 1 no social media 
I waste so much time watching everyone elseās adventures, talents, projects that I donāt even do my own wtf man thatās crazy. I already feel the pull to look but itās just an addiction for me and I understand addiction lol. I came home for lunch yesterday and there was a notice on my door stating theyāre raising my rent. I just moved in 2 months ago, I will be taking to the investment company on Monday. Either way thatās life and my apartment is still at least $300-$600 cheaper then whatās around me so eh it is what it is. Iām very proud of everyone here and hope that you have a beautiful day today, love you guys 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1,015. I hope everybody has a good one!
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