Checking in daily to maintain focus #53

Glad you could grieve your friend sober. It is the only way.

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Day 960

Husband was off today. In the morning I took the kids to a local river aquarium. We have been so many times, but they still wanted to look at each fish carefully, and talk about each one. At almost 10 and 14 it is sweet they are still so interested. Next to the aquarium there is a park so I looked for snakes and bugs with my son. Then did a BBQ with the husband in the afternoon. After the meat was done it was the obligatory ā€˜burn random stuff picked up from the gardenā€™ time. Egg shells really smell when burnt, fyi. Then daughter wanted to sleep together in the tent in the garden, so that is where I am now. So glad my kids are growing up slowly. Glad I have a job that I can be with them in the spring vacation.

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That sound so good and getting your energy filled up kind of day.

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Day 1606.
Think I need to check in. Yesterday was a good day. I could let go of the stress for a bit. Today. Not so. I am filled with rage, anger, being overwhelmed and having tears in my eyes. This too will pass. I need to get some things straight in my head. Do I want to continue my life like this? No, this was never the plan. I am noone who says fuck it I am done with this system. Yet, I cannot continue like this for being okay. No worries for my sobriety as this would only multiply the stress. I am worried for myself which is also something I didnā€™t feel when I was still drinking.

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Hey all, checking in on day 1,018. I hope everybody has a good one!

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Iā€™ve noticed your valuable example of no matter how you may feel, no matter what you may be thinking, and no matter what happens to you, that you tell yourself to get up & show up & DO things anyway in spite of the old you saying its impossible. Keep shining!

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I never had this and hope it stays this way. I hope you feel better soon. :sunflower:

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Checking in on day 333. Managed to capture it :joy:
Iā€™ve just completed a 50 minute meditation that I like to find time for. I pick my daughter up from school shortly and weā€™ll be having dinner early as she has a harp performance at the high school this evening. Iā€™m glad I checked what was on the school menu for lunch today as it was exactly what I had planned for dinner, so I will think of an alternative. Term ends on Friday and itā€™s Easter break for two weeks.

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Checking in on Day 409

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Congratulations on ur 1 month!!! :smiley:

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image
Great catch Delia.
Love those numbers.
:pray:t2::heart::hugs:

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Day 179
Iā€™m on my way home, hungry af :cry: And I donā€™t know what to cook. Iā€™m so not creative at the moment with cooking guys. I would order food every day if I could :sweat_smile: Going to my favorite grocery store on my way home. I always find something delicious there.
I already cleaned my apartment yesterday (Iā€™m really consistent atm with this, love it) so except cooking there is nothing to do.
More time to do nothing, I like that :smiling_face:
I hope youā€™re having a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong :muscle::kissing_heart:

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There is a song I like and in the song it says I love to hate the fight.

The song is called sippin on streight clorine by twenty one pilots and for me, itā€™s about someone who is quitting substances even though they sound like they are doing them. I could be wrong but thatā€™s what I interpreted from my experiences through my life

I love to hate the fight
Day 145 no alcohol
Day 2 no weed

Stay strong

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Day 35. Terrible sleep. I ALWAYS sleep poorly (sleep apnea) but itā€™s worse since cutting alcohol. Night sweats like crazy (also perimenopausal but the night sweats are insane since going AF). Will this get better soon?! :sleeping:

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Thanks for this reminder and view from outside. Reflected a lot about that today.
Done with work. I planned some much softer days! :black_heart::hugs:

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Good evening!

Iā€™m checking in on day 29 after a few days of being offline and dealing with fatigue. Realizing that I need to check in now because after this point of not checking in I will cross into self-isolation territory. Also checking in first thing in the morning is not working for me anymore because I do my morning pages when I wake up.

Still fasting for the month and I had my first meal of the day an hour ago. It was fettuccine with homemade pesto and leeks topped with breaded chicken breast and two boiled eggs for some extra protein.

Did some home improvement projects today and Iā€™m happy with the results!

Tomorrow I start a 10 week mindful self-compassion course and Iā€™m excited! In addition with the 12 week Artistā€™s Way course and then the first week of an 8 week writing workshop starting next week, Iā€™ve got a full plate. In the meantime, Iā€™m deciding between getting my masters or just going straight for the PhD. Iā€™ve given myself a year to prepare and make a decision.

I had my final session with my therapist today. Iā€™m kind of sad but we did so much amazing work together. Grateful to have found him.

Now I am gonna go for a run. I feel like Iā€™m in the best shape of my life and I feel great.

Talk later!

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Midday check in. Was up last night sick. Feel tired and body aches today. Going to take a nap

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@ArtMama welcome back :blush: congrats on 34 days :tada:
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you so much :blush: Iā€™m really trying, but yes itā€™s so hard sometimes. Well done yourself too for putting back the sour candy, Iā€™m proud of you also :blue_heart:
@icebear I hope thongs work out with the new therapist :crossed_fingers:t2:
@Frank68 feel better soon :blue_heart:
@Seb sorry for your loss :mending_heart: I hope today went as well as these things can. Sending strength :blue_heart: and congrats on 30 days :tada:
@anon74766472 sending strength :blue_heart:
@Minatasha sending strength :blue_heart: :people_hugging:
@Pickles thank you so much for the recognition and encouragement :blush::blue_heart:
@Deelzebub congrats on all the 3s :tada:
@CueBall8n9 feel better soon :blue_heart:

961 days no alcohol.
426 days no cocaine.
48 days no vape.
7 days no binge-eating.

Didnā€™t get to sleep until 1:30am, then didnā€™t wake up til 11:30am, stayed awake just long enough to feed the cats and take my morning meds, then fell asleep again until 2pm. Did my morning routine slowly, then had to wait in for deliveries. Did my meditations and afternoon walk, which felt nice because I didnā€™t manage to do it yesterday, and I missed my morning walk today. I didnā€™t get any sleep the night before though so itā€™s understandable that I had catching up to do. Still depressed, but pleased Iā€™m still managing to do some things.

:blue_heart:

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Seems your doctor does not have any empathy nor the right skills to treat alcoholism. I also admitted my drinking to my doctor, who was really understanding. He prescribed Doxepin to me, which is an antidepressants, with reduced cravings as a side effect. This was exactly what I needed and it helped me get out of my cycle. Donā€™t let yourself be pulled down by the doctor, it is really a big step to admit your problem and a step in the right direction.

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You did really well in going into an inner dialog instead of giving in. It will get better, each day it will feel easier to stick with not drinking. Did you talk with your husband about getting rid of the alcohol for now, while the cravings might still be stronger?

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