Checking in. Day 192
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Checking in on day 675. Major sugar cravings out of the blue today. I stumbled on my wifeās secret cider stash in the basement. Sheās a normie and I am glad she keeps these things from me, but it still gives me a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Itās weird to know itās down there and it makes me sad that I canāt drink normally like everyone else. Maybe thatās where the sweets cravings are coming from.
@CATMANCAM sending strength on this difficult day. I am sorry that happened to you. I hope you feel better.
@KarenKW congratulations on 100!
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Checking in just shy of 48 days AF.
Up early for my spin class- always a good workout. Back home to shower and noticed a built-in laundry hamper in my closet. Knew it was there, but never use it. Thought wow! Perfect place to hide a bottle! Easy access, and lord knows my hubby wouldnāt be looking to do laundry! Of course, I then realized how stupid my brain can be. So I made a nice pot of lentil soup, and headed out for an 8-mile/1,600-ft hike to clear my head. Seems to have worked. And the soup was delicious 
Take care all!
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Days
190 substance free
106 sh free
1 eating daily
1 smoke free
I didnāt eat yesterday. I went to sleep instead. I was too overwhelmed with life. I had a panic attack at work and asked a coworker for a smoke. They were trying to help, and in a way didā¦ Except i had to restart my counter because i wasnāt strong enough to not ask.
Today I ate a quinoa bowl (from the frozen section) and a breadless āsandwichā
But i am struggling to keep my mind from sh.
I have been reading here for hours, trying to look up ways to avoid/distract myself.
I want to sleepā¦
But for now, I am here just hanging onā¦
We got this TS family!
One moment at a time
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Simply awesome to see this! Congratulations 
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1410
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Last morning in Berlin, will be catching the 
home early this afternoon. It has been a great little trip. Love this city and at least some of its inhabitants. Iāll be back. X
@KarenKW Huge congrats on reaching triple digits lady! Thatās an enormous milestone to reach. So happy for you!
@CATMANCAM EMDR might be a good fit friend. It works for lots of people. Iāve only done a couple of sessions and it helped me already. Hoping it works out for you 
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I did have a bottle of red the other night i know not good but i did make a conscious decision to do so and took my time with some cheese and bread. So the best part of 8 days ive had a bottle of red wine. Thats a massive improvement.
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Nice!! 
Well done Karen, triple digits!
You just earned that sober dance from me:
Hope you like it! 
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Just wanted to say, you are doing great! Donāt be too hard on yourself, the urges to sh are strong. But you are residing and youāre doing a great job at looking after yourself. Sending lots of internet hugs!
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Day 17. Coffee and Iced tea with lemon are my new best friends lol. Made some awesome chili and cornbread for dinner. Iām SO tired right now, but Iām happy to be going to bed sober. 
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So whatās your plan Morgan? Be quit with the drink or try to drink every once in a while? You say you made a conscious decision to drink. Why? If you do want to be sober, drinking on and off will make that much more difficult. If at all possible.
I know it isnāt for me. Fighting my addiction is black and white. All or nothing. In or out. Etcetera. Reading your previous posts it is for you too. Wishing you all success.
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#Day 1673 
2 weeks to go before my holiday to Spain, counting down the days. Need sun and warmth.
Itās not a long holiday, just 10 days including the long bustrip to it. Itās a 20 hour drive.
Got a disturbing phonecall from my brother. One of his children is in a very dark place mentally.
Itās sad.
Iām thinking about it a lot since. There isnāt much I can do beside listening.
Today arrives this green new buddy. A double Manaia. A jade Maori pendant someone carved for me. Iām intriged by those kind of pendants, already have a small Hei Tiki.
Not drinking is also saving money for nice things like this. Looking forward to wear this creature around my neck
Hope to visit New Zealand some day to see where this kind of art comes from.
Maybe when I reach 10 years of sober time?
Who knows!
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I put a proposal in with a local college to teach rug making and was accepted to do a course each term. Im so exicited and nervous. Ive been looking for ways i can transition away from working in child protection services and to be in a more creative environment without all the trauma. I dont start until August but will keep you updated
Just have to keep moving towards what i want in life, slowly slowly, step by step, whilst clean and sober.
Happy Days 
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Congratulations on your new adventure! Sounds like it will be a welcome and much needed change for you, how exciting 
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Day 50 AF and a nice message of hope for today. Feeling pretty bloody ace.
And congrats @KarenKW on triple digits
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Day 6
Checking in, sober of cause
Suffering from covidā¦
This virus is a bitch!
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Kia Ora
Thats somw beautiful mahi(work) that you have there, My Toki also has a Manaia carved into it.
Awesome to see our art been shown here.
day 211
Trying day at work, nearly lost it to far.
Arguing over nothing was stupid, keeps me in check though.
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Day 
Well I guess yesterday had a good lessons. I donāt like to be pushed/ forced / and working on tension is my hardest one. Somehow situations learns to accept them with different mindset. When you change the perspective, everything does not seem that bad.
ā¦ and then we have days like today. With that mindset it is win / win / plus+ / plus+ situation 
Seems to me like a good
Step 3 practice 
Have a good one, Friends!
Donāt drink, Donāt use, Donāt be a part of it!
Day 2 no smoking
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Im on day 3 Being in some routine is helping. Found the gym hard last night but i know it makes me feel better.
Had a good chat with the husband about how he also needs to make changes.
I am still sticking at looking after myself first.
Looking forward to a life of no regret. Shame, anxiety and no more days wasted lieing in bed because to ill to get up.
Got a little holiday away coming up with children and husband.
Appologises given for all the nasty things he said under the influnence.
My aim for the getaway is to be in nature maybe picnics in day and enjoying being fresh and free.
This is going to be the hardest journey i have been on but i am determined to succeed.
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