Congratulations on making it to the 30 day milestone.
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Checking in. Day 233
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WOWZERS - 30 days of sobriety! way to go.
Isn’t it funny that we “mourn” putting poison in our bodies? How we still crave this addiction and romanticize it when it did nothing but FUCK us up in every way possible. You are kicking ass and I hope that you continue to do so. Hey - we can still go out dancing and to the pub - just enjoy a different beverage and come out with our wits intact 
Wishing you luck with having the talk and finding a sponsor that fits your needs.
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You do belong here. Speaking for myself and probably everyone else…we are all fighting an ugly part of our lives we wish we could eliminate. Sometimes all I can do is know I am so much better not continuing down the same road I have been on.
I care you are here. Howdy and take it 1 moment at a time:bouquet:
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I’m still pretty much stuck on the couch from surgery, I can’t do anything then the bare minimum like getting up to get food or a drink. I’m currently talking with a few people online trying to connect and hopefully make friend
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Yeah - I had a hunch that the recovery from the surgery would have you more isolated than usual.
I am here - you can PM if you’d like to chat. You can scroll the threads and get some laughs on the Make Me Laugh. Tell me a joke or the Meme Wars 73 No Politics Please thread. I’m sure many more fun threads here.
Can a friend come over and hang with you while you stay on the couch? Make sure you are getting some fresh air into your room. I know when I’m down and stay in bed and don’t open window or curtain that my mind can spiral very quickly - - small changes make a huge difference.
Much love my friend - you will recover and we are here for you!
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Day 2. I couldn’t resist. Then I have to learn the lesson the hard way
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Hey, we understand. I know for myself personally my self harm turned into self harm in the form of substance abuse.
We are here for you, and you are not alone 
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Hey Megan
This post I just read by @Butterflymoonwoman is also great for you to understand that self harm is not so different from dealing with other addictions and you need to work on and respect your body…
Also - in keeping with the above message - check out Cravings & how to beat them, Isolation vs. Connection, H.A.L.T
EDIT - found another link here that would be very helpful - thank you @Starlight14 comfort box
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425 days.
I’m taking a sick day from work today, I’ve had a few days on Prozac, and it’s making me feel super wonky tbh. I’m pretty sensitive to medication, I’m hoping I adjust soon enough. Can anyone else offer any advice on how long it takes to adjust initially?
Not complaining though, if it can drag me out of how shitty intense depressive episodes feel, I’ll deal with the side effects for a while.
Have a great day guys 
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Im quite sensitive to medications also and can usually feel its effects right away. I find that it takes about 10 days (at least for me) to not feel “wonky” and to have any unwanted side effects disappear. By about day 10 i feel alot better. My dr told me that if i still felt unwell by the 2 week period, to contact her and then we can make adjustments. But she did encourage me to try and stick out the initial discomfort as the benefits outweigh the inital cons of starting up or increasing a med.
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@XXIX The site is about sharing our feelings and experiences. Not putting on a front. Always be real.
@JessicaAnn93 You can’t ‘lose’ progress. Everyone’s journey is what it is. You go left or right, twist and turn, but keep putting one foot in front of the other.
@KarenKW The point is you deserve better. You deserve to not give yourself another stick to beat yourself with. If you want to escape, take a bus a park and wander around; if you want a physical release, go swimming or get a massage; if you want to shut your brain off, start a TV series, do some colouring. Start a thread detailing the stuff you are up to so you can have some feedback do you don’t feel alone.
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110 days sober today. Been down in the funk lately. 32 days until my employment closes the doors.
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I have self harmed since i was a child… about 20 years. It was my first addiction. And I still struggle with it! To me it’s more about the addiction itself than what the addiction is.
I hope you feel better soon hun
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Evening of day 17 sober
Today was a very non active day
It was good to rest though
I woke up full of energy and in a good mood. There just wasn’t much to get into. The wife isn’t religious but she’s spiritual. She believes in the universe and so do I, I just call the universe god. I might hit up a church session eventually just to keep busy and maybe learn about something new.
I need more AA in my life. I’m going to go to online meetings more often.
I guess today was just very uneventful
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I’ve got a headache and 12 hours of work tomorrow, so I’m heading to bed relatively early…
Checking in
231 days substance free
And
148 self harm free
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Sleep well. Peace and calm sending your way.
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Checking in
Day 469
Started tearing up on the train coming home from work bcuz im realizing how much my past still effects me. I think i have become soo good at shoving my past aside, that when it does come up it really effects me. 2 things have come up for me. One of them has been ongoing for awhile now (havent mentioned it on here… at least not lately) and im trying to break free from my thinking patterns.
First thing is that its been 12 years since i charged my abusive ex bf. He was charged with a number of different things related to DV. Now even though i am in a healthy relationship with someone who isnt abusive at all, i STILL hold onto certain ways of thinking from my past. For example: Feeling the need to explain everything and everywhere i go, checking in with my hubby when not needed, feeling uneasy when wearing makeup or doing my hair, etc. I started crying bcuz i hate feeling this way and thinking this way.
Then while on my way home, i also started getting obsurd thoughts about sex work. Like missing it and the fast $$ and miss feeling that sense of control and power (even though it was all fake). Like just obsurd thinking!! And i realized that sex work in itself was very much an addiction for me. It was incredibly hard to quit that lifestyle and so i decided to make a counter for that bcuz i am proud of how far ive come. Ive been free from that for over 8 years and it baffles me that i STILL get cravings for it. It sounds awful i know. Id never go back to that. I have a family now. But those thoughts baffle me 
Anyway, the day is winding down. And im just sort of processing the day. Grateful to be clean and sober, grateful to be free from sex work, and grateful to God, my family, and you all that are my biggest supports 
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Checking in 41 months substance free, 25.2 months self harm free and 12.2 months sugar free.
Lots of emotions going on right now, I am in the thick of it with my step four and working hard on surrendering to this ED. Its terrifying so I am taking it one day at a time.
@SadMemeQueen
Megan, you belong. 
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