Hey!! Good to see you again 
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So glad you checked in today! Glad to hear you’re working on your stuff and doing well. 
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Afternoon of Day 4. Had fun at the baseball game last night even though my team got their butts kicked. It was a much needed break from the stress. Feeling sick today but I think it’s bad allergies.
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DJ this is a very exhilarating career and yes super stressful /exhausting with many triggers. The yravel alone (with jet lag) would drive me crazy. You are super talented and im happy that your career is doing so well. Thank you for sharing these pics-
Just remember that you come 1st. Without you there is no career. Have you established ways to keep yourself on the sobriety path as you prep for and attend this festival?
Wish you continued sucess in your sobriety and your cateer.
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Well thank goodness both of these festivals are in the city I’m living in, so I can perform and go home 
. But when I’m invited to perform somewhere they put me in an apartment or hotel so I always have a place to go to if I don’t want to be in the mix. I would actually decline if they didn’t pay for room, food, and travel because that would be at my expense and I’m not a desperate naive artist anymore
I’ve also developed a professional reputation as someone who doesn’t like small talk and will skip socializing so there’s that. People are pleasantly surprised when I turn up places and I prefer it that way
I forgot to say, thank you for your kind words! I really appreciate it 
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Oh you are most welcome love…so hapoy to see you thriving. Glad to see youve thought this through and are protecting yourself and your sobriety 
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Day 3
I am at home and sober 
Mood is getting better.
Will go to bed soon. 
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Good to see you checking in with us 
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Checking in
Day 451
Today i wore myself out, so i am trying to rest up. Got my son ready for school and then immediately worked out for about an hour once he was on the bus. Headed out to the store for groceries. Got some frozen mango 
for smoothies so cant wait to try that tmrw! Then went to go and buy something for my husband. Lots of walking today outside of the exercise I did this morning. Came home to eat and have a quick nap. Im still tired but have to get up and pick my son up from the bus soon. All in all today was good!
Hope everyone is enjoying their day also
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@Juli1 ditto my friend, sending strength 
🩵 and good luck for your interview 
@Twizzlers thank you I don’t currently have a therapist, but I told my Dr, and he said that they are no longer qualified to increase my meds any more than they have already, so he referred me to the mental health service and I had my assessment last week, they said they meet on Wednesdays to discuss patients, so I should hopefully hear from them tomorrow to see what they’ve decided to do with me.
@Soberbilly thank you I do keep reaching out, I just have to wait between the gatekeepers and their decisions. When I had my assessment I expressed my interest in EMDR, but she said that’s mainly for patients with a single trauma, not complex, and although I still feel I’d benefit, I was just dismissed. I explained how I can’t do group work bcuz being around other people makes me feel suicidal in person and online, so she said she’d ask the complex trauma team whether they could offer me any alternatives, so I’m waiting for their decision at the moment.
@JazzyS I’m really trying, just stuck in limbo while the gatekeepers decide what to do with me. In the meantime, feeling very defeated, but I won’t give up. 🩵
@Time2Live84 congrats on 3 weeks 
@mx_elle love this for you 
🩵
@liminal.rehab congrats on 70 days, and the work opportunities
@Jennajen good to read from you 
1003 days no alcohol.
468 days no cocaine.
90 days no vape.
I am trying my best, but I’ve ran out of motivation and energy. I got the bathroom mopped, carpets hoovered, and kitchen sink cleaned while I waited for the plumber to come and fix a leak in the back of the toilet. He wasn’t here long, said he’d fixed it. I haven’t been able to motivate myself to finish the last few jobs, even though I know if I had the motivation and energy, I could finish it all in 30mins ish. I can’t guarantee I’ll be awake early enough to get it done before the inspection lady arrives, but I’ve set 4 alarms and hopefully I can sleep soon.
Bingeing is still really bad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t currently have a therapist and my doctors don’t feel qualified enough to make any further changes to my meds, that’s why I had the mental health assessment last week, she said they have a meeting to discuss options for patients on Wednesdays, so she said I’d hear something either today or tomorrow, so I just have to wait. I’ve already been through the eating disorder pathway and was discharged after my final therapy session on 8th December. Things didn’t work out with the more recent private therapist, so I had to end that, I found him way too patronising, plus I can’t afford it.
🩵
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12 days AF. Got a sponsor. Now step one. And then another.
It’s a privilege to be here with all of you 
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Congratulations on getting a sponsor and starting the steps 
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Thats the best news!!! Let the healing continue…so happy for you my friend
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Awe love - seems you got a good chunk done. I do hope your day turned out well and you get everything tidied before your inspection.
I just did a in depth search about health care in the uk. It does suck that to get emdr or any form of mental care you have to be referred by your gp. This is my opinion is horseshit. GP’s can hardly handle the physical sometimes and in control over the mental. I am so sorry love. I do hope a) you get better answers by tomorrow from your health assessment and b) your gp and psychiatrist get off their collective asses and help you.
I know the last therapist wasnt great (im sorry to hear he was patronizing) - wtf! Some people really should think twice about their professions…can you try a different therapist? My sister had to go thru 5 before finding one she clicked with.
Sending you support and hoping you get good news for your mental health. Do try to get in some meetings as well - they may be helpful for the bingeing.
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Hey guys checking in. Had today and the next two days off work. Slept till about 7 so that’s actually sleeping in, felt good all day. Was able to get the bike out for a few hours with the beautiful weather. Went to a new smart recovery meeting tonight, since the other place shut down. It was like an hour drive but really worth it. The people were great, really laid back, laughed almost the whole meeting, will definitely go back next Wednesday. The wife had a hell of a day at work and is in a moooood!
I will tread lightly tonight. 
. Have a great night guys
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Day 92 sober. Busy day today. Worked outside around my property on a couple of on going projects and made great progress. Played my fiddle for a couple of hours today. It’s been a long time since I could just set for a while and play and work on some music.
Went to a men’s Bible study group this evening and it was good to study with some men who want to do the right things for their families.
Have a great night everyone!
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Sounds like a productive day! Glad u got back into ur fiddle music is good for the soul
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Ah ok, well remember that you have a come along way. You have all of us here who care about you, and no matter what you are good enough, you are worth it.
So whate ever you do, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’m doing this with you okay. You aren’t alone, no matter how alone you feel, remember we are all with you.
I don’t know why I only realised your in th UK same as me recently 
.
My experience with my drs is they have tried to help me so much, they are so supportive. But they also need more support to support me. Referred me to the mental health team who didn’t even look at my notes, and suggested I do something that I’d already tried (having a peer mentor) I was so disappointed and disheartened that I felt they didn’t even look at my notes.
So my Dr re referred me and told me just because we hit a bump doesn’t mean we can’t get over together.
I really hope they are able to offer you something to help in the right now. I also tried what was called The listening place. It was for 12 weeks therapy that started withing days of me being referred, but I had to be feeling lower than I do now to fit the criteria. Maybe you can ask for this as it’s especially for feelings of how your feeling.
Maybe you know this or have tried, I’m here anytime if you need me
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