@Cjp thank you! My boys have really heated up and are knocking the ball around the park it’s gonna be an exciting finish! Our one loss was to the top team 5-2 it was so close most of the game but they got a couple lucky breaks again and got us. I think if we see them again we will get the win. No matter what happens I’m so proud of these guys and how far they’ve come!
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Congratulations 
I read a good analogy about thoughts and feelings being clouds but our self is the sky. The clouds pass and cannot affect the sky, unless we let it. I occasionally have thoughts of running off and leaving my kids. Or mugging the security guys when I see them emptying a cash machine. I’m not ever going to do it, but the thought pops up.
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Picking up on growing feelings is actually a great thing. It shows you are aware, and that is the first step to stopping a relapse. Can you analyse what is going on with you? Has anything happened recently that is making you angry or sad?
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Never be sorry for sharing, that is what the forum is for. It sounds like she needs to want to be helped,and she isn’t there yet. It is so hard to watch, but you have already done all you can.
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My goodness, congratulations
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Happy birthday 
. Hope you had a great day!
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1,323 Days of Recovery
Not doing good at all.
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I’d rather not get into it bc I’ve always been one to bottle up due to shame, but thank you for reaching out. 
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You can always pm me if youd like. Sometimes it helps to let it out
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Thank you so much.
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Thank u so much 
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Nothing really to mention, just trying to stay busy until 8pm. 
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My goodness Billy - So saddened to read your post today. You are again in a rough emotional state. I know you love her and would never want to see someone in her position being out on the streets. You really do have a huge heart and the fact that you wear it on your sleeve makes you so much more vulnerable. I hate to say it but you really need to protect your own heart, your own sobriety and growth at this moment. She may need to hit her proverbial rock bottom to want to get herself clean and sober.
I would instantly say - go ahead and help her if I thought she was ready but i can’t cause we know that she’s made it very clear in the past that she does not want to change her lifestyle.
You are still getting your bearings and early in your sobriety. You are doing so well and come so far - I just so want to see you succeed. Again please do not ever apologize for venting — we are here to help listen and hopefully provide some advice. Please be well my friend - sending you comfort and love. 
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@SoberWalker That is a beautiful candle. I am certain that your mom is very proud of you.
@Juli1 You are correct – we can’t fight forever but I do feel that as we start making the right choices then slowly this will become our new normal and it will be easier and we will not have to fight at our sobriety. We will forever need to know that we have an addiction so that we don’t fall prey to the old ways but the urges and mind games our addict mind plays will not be so strong (hopefully will be gone all together). You are doing great my friend – keep fighting the good fight – it will get easier
@Alycia I am so sorry that you are having such a rough day with your cravings today. You posted this 18 hours ago — I hope that you are doing better now. Glad that you did come here to vocalize your urges and separate yourself from them – I do hope you succeeded. Although we know all the ugly effects of alcohol it does become difficult when our mind starts romanticizing the addiction. Try to focus on the bad hangovers and guilt /shame the drinking brings.
@james83 welcome back to the thread – I do believe that checking in at least once a day if not multiple times helps keep us on the right path and accountable. I am glad you were able to keep you promise and help out your friend – seems that ended up being good for you too.
@simonsick hope your day got better and you are feeling more rested
@Catmama23 hope your recovery activities helped with the squirrel-y feeling. So excited for your meditation series on cultivating gratitude – I can feel that this is going to have a positive outcome for you.
@Marc3 woot woot – you made your 1st weekend. So happy for you my friend. One day at a time or in this case one weekend at a time. Take your sobriety tools from during the week to your weekends.
@Butterflymoonwoman Glad you had a great day. I’m sorry for the emotions taking over for Tuesday’s MRI – I do hope everything goes well but like you said – stay in the present moment and not focus on what you have no control over. Your son is a warrior!
@Dryln785 HUGS I am sorry my friend – I hope you now know and understand that you were in no way at fault. You are loved and you do have a TS family here that cares for you. I do hope your day went well my friend and please never apologize for a “rant”
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@Catmancam Thank you – it was a proud moment. I have told my brother and not sure where it went but the stash is no longer in the garage YEAH!
@XXIX what’s going on my friend? I’m sorry to hear that your day turned on you. Here to listen when you are ready to talk.
Checking in today -
144 days Weed and alcohol free
559 days Cigarette free
What a day. I got a lot of work done today. My mom wanted to host a meditation / prayer thing with our Sat Sangat today and we did prep for it but I left before it started and showed up for the 1st hour of mediation (left right before it ended) and came back for the last 2-hour mediation. Too many people in small closed space starts anxiety these days and I am overly self-conscious with my ailments. It felt good to be a part of the most important part and not have to deal with small chit chat and anxiety issues. Now finally catching up on this site – my goodness how much I’ve missed in 7 hours. All is well and feeling good sober. Have a wonderful evening my friends.
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Checking in with 75 days AF. Missing my kids on this Mothers Day - they are time zones away. They both called me though, which is nice. Will see my own mom in less than a month, which is nice. My annual with my doctor is tomorrow morning and we will be talking about help for my insomnia, which is nice, and my elevated cholesterol numbers, which is so NOT nice. But I’m glad the anticipation will be ending. Feel rather blah about the whole sobriety thing, so ODAAT as they say…
Take care all!
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Don’t let any of these outside factors compromise your own sobriety. That is what is most important…
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Thanks Jazzy! I had an interesting afternoon. Went for a walk to clear my head. Ran into somebody I knew from the homeless shelter sitting at the corner bus stop. He was really wasted; worse than I’d ever seen him. He offered to by me a beer from the convenience store next door. I refused saying I was back on the wagon. He gave me $3 and said “Get yourself a half pint when you relapse”.
I had an hour and half to get to the liquor store, and I was tempted since I’ve been bored and lonely all day. But I just came home and sweated it out. 
I’m feeling better now though. 
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Geez…He tries handing you money to prompt a relapse. Wrong on so many levels. Well done making it through the day sober…
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