… sorry youre not doing good… kind of in the same boat mentally… but we got this right !? ODAAT!!! Sending you positive vibes!
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Hey all, checking in on day 1,065. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Morning to all…checking in to continue on this journey. I hope youall have a blessed day. Smile when possible and cry when you need to. A smile might make somebody’s day and a cry will cleanse your soul. Oh and I say we all have a diet cheat day and eat something delicious. At the end of the day we are all babies on this journey and babies smile, cry, eat and burp but they always wake up sober the next day.
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Day 1.
My main motivation and inspiration is my wife. At the weekend I convinced myself ill only have 4 glasses of wine max. I should know, these are always lies and once i get started, i can’t stop myself.
I drank to oblivion, made my wife drive me to the shops late at night when i ran out. They were closed so I got a bottle from the local pub.
At midnight I took some drugs and my wife was so worried about me that she stayed up till 5am with me to make sure basically, that I didnt die.
I dont know what ive done to find someone like her and i certainly dont deserve her. She is an absolute angel. I feel so much guilt and shame.
Ive tried multiple times to get clean by myself and failed.
This is me putting my hands up in surrender saying I cant do this alone and I cant carry on like this anymore.
That is the last time I drink. I won’t do so again. Ill keep checking in till my 10,000th day sober.
I will beat this disease, for myself - and my angel of a wife.
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Thank you for your post Alycia.
I feel you… But I can promise you there is absolutly nothing positive or nice to be found.
It’s muddy, stinky, painful, dangerous and there is nothing to be found, then mental and physical sickness.
Please stay where you are!
And I wish you some time for yourself. It’s necessary. Please make an appointment 
Love 
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Day 31
It’s been awhile since I checked in a year I believe yesterday I celebrated 1 month sober I took mom out to dinner for Mother’s Day all she’s ever wanted was her sons to stop drinking and not only did I show up with flowers but also to let her know I haven’t had a drink in a month and on top of that my brother has 60 days I told her “mom your boys are sober” she was super happy it was a great day. Now the realness a year ago I fell off hard I had close to 200 days and I threw all away it never changes it’s always the same thing over and over it’s never going to be different it’s never going to be one drink no it’s always going to be drink for days or till the money is gone and I know this but now it’s all about moving forward and honestly what worked for me was checking in here or posting music the important thing is checking in there’s a lot great people here and there all here to help 
. Have a great day to all. Peace
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Wow that’s a amazing thing you did for your mom
And the hounst truth is that it doesn’t change
I threw away a 6 month sober streak for 1 beer that ended up getting me sick. The taste reminded me of a dark past I had with beer. It felt like I was doing something more bad then I knew. I felt wrong
4 days sober later, here I am. Back working on my streak. If beer is so good, then why am I trying to quit? Because my history and habbits are too strong, and to live a normal life I need to quit the alcohol
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4 days sober
Filled out more job applications today
I guess I’m learning that work is a normal part of life
Right now my amazing wife is on my chest sleeping. I can’t believe she came and brought me to live with her.
When I drink I’m just no good. Smoking marijuana is also too strong. I’m getting there
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3 days sober myself.
I’m grateful the headaches are almost gone. Day 4 is usually a good day so I’m looking forward to waking up in the morning.
I’m grateful that even though I have a really tough week at work I can face it with calm and energy that I otherwise wouldn’t have.
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Day 97 sober.
I had a couple of crazy thoughts this morning about wanting to drink. Out of no where.
My schedule changed and had unplanned time off early from work. Had to combat two thoughts
Within 1.5 hours about wanting to drink. Crazy.
I stopped and bought a couple cinnamon coffee cakes and binged on them and drank some water. Home now. Going to take nap.
Unbelievable… but I am sober.
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It sounds like you know what to do - reach out, connect here, by phone, or in a meeting. I relapsed a couple weeks ago and looking back I can see that there were warning signs. Now I know to treat the transgressive thought as seriously as the actual transgression. I try to check in with myself often and if I have a dangerous thought or feeling I deal with it when it happens rather than pushing it down or away. This is all very new for me! Anyway I hope this pain is alleviated for you soon 
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Thanks Jazzy, and I hear you about being anxious around too many people in a an enclsed space… I get that too.
Checking in on day 8, reminding myself to take this one day at a time
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4y 11m 6d
Today I took my Dad to meet some ostrich
They were both menacing and majestic
Ostriches don’t drink and neither do I 
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Jose --So sweet to put it that way - I do feel like I’m starting over from an infant state and this really hit home.
Also - thanks for the reminder that its okay to smile when possible but also cry when needed. I tend to hold back on the crying. Have a great sober day my friend!
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Hey Teef - Thank you for your post and congrats on making today your day 1!!! This community and especially the check in’s will be a great asset to you in your sobriety journey. You may also want to do the following (not in any order):
a. attend a meeting (local or on line – “EVERYTHING AA” has 24 hour a day meetings available.)
b. possibly find a sponsor from one of your meetings
c. find activities to do that will keep you occupied when urges arise.
d. be prepared for withdrawal symptoms
e. have go to drinks like la croiz or kombucha or flavored water — readily accessible to you. Throw out your alcohol if this is not possible then place out of sight. ie. you should not be seeing a beer every time you open the fridge.
f. be kind to yourself!!! You will beat this disease - it will not be easy - you will have to work for it - we are all here for you when you need
Hope to see you around.
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@Jwfletcher4792 congrats on your team’s achievements, 
good luck for the Championships! 
@XXIX sending strength 🩵
@SobrietyForMe @Tito23 congrats both on your month
@Teefmeister welcome 
congrats on day 1
1008 days no alcohol.
473 days no cocaine.
95 days no vape.
Was awake til the early hours again, and woke early too. Did my morning routine, and my morning walk, it was hard to make myself do the walk because I was so tired, but I felt like I couldn’t relax until I’d done it. I did my usual, plus some extra, meditations, spent some time reading here, then did my afternoon walk early because I was planning an early night, as I need to be at the opticians for my eye tests at 9am. They want to do an extra OCT scan, which can detect issues 4 years in advance, and I’m very anxious what that will show because I already know I have Diabetic Retinopathy, and I have very blurry vision a lot of the time, and my eyes also keep looking sideways and the only way to get them to look forwards is by covering the other eye. Atleast I’ll know whatever shows up, maybe they can do something to help.
🩵
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Helloo I think i will join you in your thread, interested to hear how it has been for you!
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@Juli1 so happy to see you doing so well! Have you started the life guard position?
@Tito23 Congrats on surpassing your 30 days my friend! What an incredible mother’s day gift you and your brother presented to your mom yesterday! You are doing great and will continue to do so – keep up the effort and hard work.
@CueBall8n9 Man – the mind is definitely a mystery. Don’t know where your subconscious goes or come up with the thoughts that fill your addict brain. I am so happy to hear that you were able to shun away both thoughts. The cinnamon coffee cake sounds delicious – glad you enjoyed and hope you had a restful nap.
@Catmancam I do hope you get a decent nights rest tonight or maybe incorporate naps in your day if early mornings persist? Wishing you the best of luck with your OCT Scan tomorrow. Try not to get yourself worked up prior – Like you said, hopefully if they even find anything they can do something to help. My grandmother had the same issue of a “wandering” eye and with age it would get stuck in a spot. I do think she was able to get it to be better but my memory is a bit hazy – will ask my dad about what she did – it may help
Checking in Monday late afternoon
145 Weed and Alcohol free
560 Days Cigarette free
Drank two glasses of kombucha today as I really needed something with a kick and knew I wasn’t about to crack open a cold one. I am doing well enough right now - About to make a list of how to attack tomorrow as I have many irons burning - want to prioritize so that I don’t get overwhelmed. I so used to be one to say why put it off to tomorrow if you can do it today but then my whole day would be filled with work from wake up to sleep and the next day would fill up with more. Realizing that I do come first and my mental / physical health comes first and “work” can wait. Hope you are having a beautiful sober Monday - I know I am! 
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Hello I’m new here with the hope that today will be the start of my sobriety. I’ve tried many times and fell off the wagon multiple times… I’m doing this alone and have come here to read everyone else’s stories.
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Day 9. Feeling exhausted and depressed. That’s triggering cravings, but I won’t drink today. I’m still upset with myself at having to reset my timer 9 days ago after getting over 100 days. But some days it all seems like too much work and I want to give up. I have struggled with this depression for so long. I do see my psychiatrist tomorrow and it may be time to adjust my meds. I know drinking will only make it worse. I was hoping it would get better being sober but it hasn’t. I’m just tired.
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