Day 12. Tired and frustrated. But I have the house to myself this evening so might find a movie to watch. Allergies are still kicking my ass. I’m glad tomorrow is Friday and I have a massage scheduled.
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415 days checking in 
Made it to Friday, looking forward to the weekend. They had a wellness meeting at my work yesterday and basically reached out to us all to provide information on additional support we can access, and asked us about what we need. It was really refreshing and I think myself and my family are eligible for mental health support, this is a huge relief, hoping to get in to see someone next week and get my son in for some support too.
Big weight off my shoulders.
Hope you all have a lovely day 
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Day 11 for me guys. I am sleeping like a log. Getting a full eight hours and it is so good. It feels like I blink and it’s morning! I’ve invited family over to mine for a get together and some food in the garden Sunday. Looking forward to a sober sunny weekend. Got myself some Sanpellegrino Limonata (lemonade) in ready for it. Stay focused.
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@JazzyS thank you 
🩵
@CueBall8n9 thank you 🩵 I use my notes app and toggle between that and here, I type the usernames out, then copy and paste the whole thing once I’ve caught up.
@BowlingLy thank you 🩵 sorry you’re going through it too 
but happy to read the last part 
@icebear maybe check-in with your doctor about how you’re feeling, it might be “normal” but I’d imagine it would be reassuring to hear that from a professional
@GenG I’m glad you’ve got someone to be accountable with irl, sorry about the PAWS though 🩵
@Marc3 haven’t they just! I’ll be sure to follow up if I haven’t heard anything for a while, will give it a few weeks for the referrals to be processed, then check-in with them again.
@maxwell congrats on 80 days 
@SoberWalker thank you 🩵 and Awww Hey Wickie she still likes to be near the TV then, just the other side now 
@Dmcg1987 good luck for your interview 
@Mno stunning photo 
I hope you’re able to express your feelings towards therapy in the session
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@anon53116147 wow that truck sure does look badass! I didn’t know they were capable of such high speeds! Enjoy your weekend with your girls and camping 
@Noshame good luck and congrats on your week
@2JTravNZ congrats on 8 months
@Alycia I’m so glad you can access MH support for yourself and your family, through your employer, that’s awesome I hope it helps 🩵
1011 days no alcohol.
476 days no cocaine.
98 days no vape.
Was awake til 1am catching up and doing my check-in, then didnt get to sleep until 3:30am, I did wake at 7, fed the cats and took my morning meds, then went back to sleep until 12:30pm, so altogether I had a full night’s sleep for the first time in a while, possibly thanks to more sugary stuff last night.
I did my morning routine, then had to wait in for the Smart Meter technician, who was due between 12 and 4pm, he arrived at 14:30 and left around 15:30. I now have a smart meter for my electricity.
It took a lot of psyching myself up, but around 5pm I did my pond walk, came home, rested with the cats and meditated, then, I couldn’t access the forum so I didn’t know what to do with myself. Addict took control and I went to the shop and bought lots of sugary things plus crisps and fruit, ate it all in the kitchen whilst watching Sweet Tooth on Netflix.
Then I slept the sugar off, for 1.5hrs, woke up at 20:38, decided to get straight out for my lake walk, glad I did. Came home, spent some time with the cats, and now I’m here, and just pleased I can access the forum again. Thank you to everyone involved with fixing it.
🩵
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I’m a day late but congrats on double digits!! A good night’s sleep is the best. I look forward to my cat waking me up each morning on the dot at 7am 
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22 days.
I am really battling with the addiction voice in my head these days. It’s off and on but when it hits it is insistent. It is really screaming sometimes.
I take this as a good sign because it means my addiction isn’t getting fed like it used to be fed. Still though it is hard.
Nice to see everyone here. Keep it up friends 
You rock! 
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Things have been hard and I haven’t been feeling happy. I am hoping it will pass quickly. Just writing this made me start to cry so I really think I needed a release! I am not feeling good about work at my new job because it’s pretty intense. Maybe I am still adjusting. The paycheck has been great so I am definitely going to stick it out.
I haven’t been able to make it to very many meetings since I started and I feel so isolated.
I’m also tired all the time. I haven’t been doing anything to exercise and I feel so old and tired.
I’m going to do some laundry tonight and hopefully getting this done will help me feel better. I’m definitely NOT going to drink.
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In all the jobs I had after a certain level in my career, I felt like a complete imposter. I’m sure you are doing much better than you think. Lots of self care when you are away from work. Fake it until you make it.
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I was thinking that maybe it’s because of the level I’m at in my career. I used to have a “magic bubble” period at each new job I had but not at this one. And yes, especially at the very beginning of this job I was suffering from imposter syndrome. I know we talked some about career stuff in the lounge and wish I could remember it better.
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When I read this unwillingly there was a picture popping up in my head of a tiger in a cage roaring and getting more and more angry and loud as he wants to be free. And this picture was then mixed with the imagery of my inner child and that I have to find other ways than the old ones to soothe it.
Congratulations on your 22 days Matt 
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That is interesting that you observed this. Did you analyse this during or after the binge? Because I remember that when I think back into the darkest times I was well aware of the automatisms, so in some way I was already mindful. But couldn’t or wouldn’t or didn’t know how what else to do.
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Yes! She is! Wow, that you can remember that she was on the other side of the tv! Respect! There are so many people here on this treat and so many stories! And you still can find a personal touch for everyone! My compliments! 
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Day 48. Moody today with more general apathy. Pushed through and went for a long walk/ate healthy. Talked to a friend. Didn’t drink. Just still feeling blah…not exactly depressed, but not exactly happy either. Damn PAWS.
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Before that I texted to my ex gf about my feelings for her and asked if we can again talk to each other and stuff.
She ignored me, blocked me and now shares about me to people I’m shitty person…
I’m 7 months sober from alcohol, almost 2 years sober from benzene, month clean from self-harm. Trying to not relapse even if it’s so hard right now.
Similar hallucination episodes like this one happened to me before whenever I felt a lot anxious or feel a lot bad or tired.
Thank you for hugs. 
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#Day 1703 
Had a good day yesterday. Enjoyed the sun and visiting my mother in law. She turns 80 years in a few weeks and just got an surgery to lift her eyelids to look good 
Yesterday I was 4 years and 8 months sober. In september I hit 5 years. My last relapse was at 5 years and 3 months of sobertime. I think it wil feel good if I get pass 5 years and 3 months. But I also know I have to focus on today instead of a date in the future.
Today? Work.
Picture above is from streetart I saw yesterday in my city. Can’t remember I have seen this one before. I
it.Have a good friday all
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Ive lost count of the days haha. Nearly 40? Im not sure lol. Beginning to feel normal to be sober,if not a bit dull at work at times.(I know i know, still working on my mind set.) But then i think of how heavy and tired and depressed id feel while at work, how unproductive id be really. And realise i wouldnt really want to be that way any more during the day so, keep going.
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Checking in. Day 223
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Checking in sober another 24hours
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