I think ur handling this extremely well 
I honestly think that how they behave is a huge reflection of themselves and their outlook on life. People just dont go around being mean unless they are miserable themselves inside. Not to say that thats an excuse. Its never okay for people to do that. I know in 12 step meetings they suggest to pray for those that have wronged us. Its hard to do but i have found it has helped in the past. Ur outlook on this situation is remarkable compared to the previous interaction u had with Nancy. Proud of u!
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@JazzyS thank you that is REALLY good for me (and everyone) to know!
@Cjp thanks for sharing that experience with meā¦ yeah Iāve clearly had my head stuck in the sand about health stuff. Iām realizing I have really bad control over my emotions. I feel
Like most people have no idea. Like the doctor probably saw me as this smiling happy go lucky person and then I walked out and fell apart. Anyway. Since I quit drinking Iāve been replacing with junk food and I need to get that under control. Iāve actually been pretty good about exercising but I just think the snacking is counteracting it.
I hope that with time in sobriety my emotions will stop taking me hostage. Like I can just observe them and not let them take over. I did a mediation on anger earlier this week and I loved how the woman said, as she was indicating what to say to this feeling, āI honor you, but you cannot stay here. This is not your home.ā It really stuck with me.
Anyone else, please reach out if youāre thinking of drinking. I didnāt want to do it but I probably would have relapsed today if I hadnāt come here to dump everything. Thanks all 
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@Cjp i also meant to say mean people suck and I share your frustration. Thereās just no need for it. Iām sorry that happened I agree that itās usually more about the personās opinion of themselves than you, but damn it still hurts. Iām really cussing a lot today, sorry about that 
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I had a revelation during my meditation. I used the words earlier " like a little girl trying to play with a group of girlsā¦i want everyone to like me." I want everyone to be my friend. Ive been feeling left out and excluded recently and this was just the final straw. Its about acceptance. I want others to accept and respect me but i cant control that. I have to accept not everyone will be respectful or will be my friend. Seems superficial but this incident really upset me and identifying whats going on kind of takes the sting out of it.
Good thing one of them is quiting and their last day is wednesday too 
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@Sadmemequeen glad to hear that the surgery went well ā let the healing begin. Hope they were able to give you something for the pain ā sending you healing vibes ā get some rest
@noshame sorry the job hunt is so difficult. Donāt give up hope ā something good will turn up and who knows the staff might even like working thereā¦
@Will3 Sorry I missed it ā Happy 3years of sobriety!!! Thatās so awesome ā Way to go!
@Cjp WOW - I love this. I do hope that hitting up a meeting helped you. Damn the bitches. Iām not sure why people are the way they are but itās unfortunate that they canāt see the wreckage caused by their actions/ words. Iād say fuck em but I know how the incident just lingers on - everytime it pops up, think of something funny (i know that sounds weird but it helps) soon you will associate the crappy moment with a funny one. Doesnāt seem superficial at all to want to be liked or want to be part of a group ā sounds like a highschool clique situation. Itās their loss honestly - you are an amazing human being. Thank goodness one of em is quitting ā YEAH!
Checking in on Monday evening
152 days weed and alcohol free (iāve been looking at the days and didnāt realize i passed 5 months - damn time flies ā Iām gonna have to figure out a way to celebrate)
567 days cigarette free
Itās been a productive day for sure. I did have to go to my old house to repair a bathroom sink (a 1 hour tops job) ended up taking 2.5 hours) then ran into my neighbors as i was leaving and it was like everyone wanted to chat - we had a neighborhood get together in the street for 40 minutes just catching up. It was nice to have so many come out to say hi. I am pooped for sure and glad to be home in my jammies and catching up here. Have a wonderful sober night everyone!
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I hope you get to feeling better. You have people who care about you on here and there are just some mean bitches in life. Male and female. Thatās why I love our ācan fu(& right off thread hereā. Those two mean bitches can du(& right off.
I am very glad that you are here. You have been a big inspiration to me!
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Aww thanks for your kind words @CueBall8n9 im glad we are on this sober journey together
i feel better after checking in here, going to a meeting, and meditating. Those steps helped me identify the emotion or feeling and process. Im in a much better mood now.
How was your day?
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104 days sober today. I stayed home today to fix a plumbing issue and clean our above ground pool to get it ready for the kids.
Then I mowed, messed with the chickens, collected 11 eggs, played my fiddle some.
It has been such a beautiful day. I love this time of year before it gets extremely hot.
This is the first time Iāve been on the site today. Getting ready for bed now.
I hope you all have a great night!
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My day was very good but I knew I forgot something in my post. I didnāt goto AA tonight. I wanted to and I havenāt missed before. I got caught up in cleaning the pool and adding chemicals and took too long.
I read your post just now and realized I missed AAā¦
Iāll have to catch an online meeting tomorrow. Good night. 
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Checking in on day 710. Today ended up being all right. I just made some spicy noodles and had a naughty little chocolate bar. I do love that the light has returned to the Northern hemisphere even though itās quite hazy from the Canadian wildfires today. Time to get the kiddos in bed and clean up the house a bit. Hope everyone is doing well 
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Iām very glad you shared it because your two observations really resonate with me. I also have struggles with dissonant feelings so I can very much relate.
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I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed at the moment. At least this is what I read from your post.
I can only tell from my own experiences that when I was drinking every every thing caused anxiety, the feeling of being to much to handle and the only tool at hand I had was drinking. And that didnāt help. In the end not even short term.
Only during sobriety I learned to handle things adequately. Well, adequately is still a problem but I can live with the consequences. And they are never as bad as I imagine.
Being here, writing it out , finding sober people in meetings to connect with helped me a lot.
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1445
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
Had a very busy productive good day yesterday. Was offered (and accepted) a permanent contract at work, while working a understaffed shift that went pretty good anyway. Had a good empowering session with my therapist. In between walked through Utrecht -where both my work and my therapist are located- on what felt like the first day of summer. Falling in love with the town.
A new day today. Didnāt sleep great but it will make do. Missed a lot of check-ins here. And donāt have much time now as my commute train doesnāt wait. Love you all friends. Keep doing the right thing which is to forge a new life from the ruins of addiction. Itās a lot of work but itās a work of love. X
@Will3 3 Years! Yay! Huge congrats!
@Bones_80 6 Months already Ian. Great work!
@Catmama23 Makes me happy to see your bad day end better. Sober. Hugs and love.
@Rockstar24777 Sorry Rob. Keep going friend. ODAAT and all that.
@SadMemeQueen Healing thoughts your way Megan.
@Cjp
@JennyH Really glad to see you lady. Welcome back!
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Day 1454 sober
Just checking in to say hi to everyone 
Have been super busy over the past couple of weeks - started a new job, hired as casual so was expecting 1 or 2 shifts/week. Haha ummm 6 nights/week with 11pm finishes. And then up the next morning early for the school run. Still trying to learn how to nap during the day as its something Iāve never been able to do but Iām so sleep deprived, I hope I learn soon but I am sober, my kidās are happy and I am in an overall good place. Its a nice way to be after all the turmoil we endured while I was drinking. Feeling pretty grateful these days and am forever grateful for stumbling across this app almost 5 years ago - its played a huge part in my sober journey x
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this has been the second worst pain of my life. i have pain meds which Iām taking ever 6 hours but at about hour 4 and a half Iām in agony. i ended up throwing up which felt like it would split my incisions. it didnāt. and one of my incisions has not stopped bleeding but the doctor said itās normal. the doc prescribed me some last minute anti nausea meds that my parents picked up, took the pain meds about an hour ago so Iām hoping itāll be enough relief to sleep
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Days
225 substance free
142 self harm free
Today was busy, but a lot better emotionally than yesterday. I am so much more calm today. And i think itās because i spent a lot of time here reading around yesterday and today. Itās midnight and Iāve just gotten home from a late shift at work. Tomorrow i think i go in at 11 so i donāt have to be up and fully awake aside from around the house with my little one too early. Still missing the comfort of someone laying next to me. A lot of nights my older daughter comes down, but since i worked late she went to bed in her room. Iām sure that over time Iāll get used to it and feel less lonely. Just working through it all.
I am grateful that i have sobriety. If i was still using, my life would undoubtedly be unmanageable.
I hope yāall are having a good day/evening
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Also after surgery, my advice is to take anti gas medicine. The pain from the extra air they fill you with during surgery is no joke! Try to sleep as much as possible. I got hope you have a quick recovery 
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Another sober day!! Happy to have reconnected with the forumā¦spent over a week away from actual interaction!!!
Happy to get on here and read such inspiring words from sooooo many!!!
This truly is a wonderful supportive community. I am greatful to have become a member!!
I lay here just after midnight and i listen to the sirensā¦i am in a small community and its near inevitable to hear them daily.
Breaks my heart to think about whats happening this time.
On another note, i am almost back to normal weightā¦looking like a healthy me instead of skin and bone from using drugs for days on endā¦i am SOOOOO UNBELIEVABLY GREATFUL.
Very very excited, My children havent been as reliant and eager to spend time with me in such a long timeā¦the activities they inclued me in daily is phenomenal. I smile ear to ear, even a tear ran down my cheak this evening. Tears of JOYā¦i can feel the love again!!!
The struggle is REALā¦everyone hurts when addiction is a part of your family.
I absolutely thank my higher power for today, and i wish everyone a happy, healthy and safe tomorrow!
Much love xo
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yes they gave me some at the hospital but Iāll Definitely pick some up tomorrow, itās all in my shoulders
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