Checking in daily to maintain focus #55

[Rob11]

Day 926,

Gave some feedback on the referral letter to my therapist she will be sending to a neuropsychological treatment centre. There is a lot in there. Geus I dissociate from most things in there. Feeling not great still, slightly in a better headspace. Saw my son this morning, helped him bring his books back to school as his taxi driver. On Thursday he will be getting his diploma. We ate a sandwich together afterwards. That was really nice except for the current prices . We ate the sandwiches at his mother’s place, felt like I didn’t want to leave. Had a little conversation in the car. Not in detail but mentioned my drinking didn’t do any good in my life. He nodded and mentioned were going on holiday soon. He’s looking forward to that, me too but hope I manage. I try to not show most of my current struggles to him. He goes with his mother and I stay close by. Last year it went fine. But I was in a better headspace then, the Ritalin I was prescribed worked fine at that time and still working at my job etc. Later it did push me into my trauma’s. And here I’m holding on still, waiting for the next treatment. I’m fed-up with it and I hope I manage.

On Thursday my son will get his diploma. Gonna have diner with his grandparents from both sides. He mentioned that’s unique . It is since we never have been together in that constellation after the separation. But he likes it, so will see how it goes with an open mind.

One day hour min at the time, I’m struggling

[Bomdhil]

Day 7. One week!!! Thank you Lord!!!

[JazzyS]

@sadmemequeen how are you doing today?
@alisa thank you for being here on this journey with me – I am inspired by your love and knowledge every day! Appreciate your big heart very much!
@timetochange ugh migraines are awful – I do hope you find some relief soon
@amy30 Love the attitude – enjoy it all and then on to the next adventure!
@jesile – OOH – very cool on the tattoo part – you should post it on the tattoo thread. Glad that you marked the beginning of your sobriety with this reminder.
Speaking of tattoos-- @anon15828629 how are you friend? Been a while since we’ve heard from you. Hopefully you are doing well. Looking forward to seeing those 3 tattoos you recently got
@crystalclear WOW 1390 days af is very impressive. I do know how having an addictive personality can manifest bad behavior in anything that we do. We need to focus on healthy behaviors to be addicted to like meditation / walks / self-care to counteract the bad obsessive behavior. This is not an easy task but it is a doable one. Recognizing the patterns is a huge first step. Much love and support!!
@misokatsu I’m sorry to hear about your dream and having lost a good friend (even one that my have not been the right fit – it’s hard to let go of our connections that made us feel whole and gave us a sense of belonging / closeness). You are a beautiful soul and I’m sure you will find and cultivate new friendships that are more your speed now (just give it time).
@mira_d wow love – thank you for sharing your minds process today – It hit home on many parts and I others I just want to give you a huge hug and say you are not alone – you are doing the absolute best you can. You are correct that just because we’ve healed from a situation doesn’t mean that that particular situation can’t come back later in life to be dealt with again (possibly with a different perspective or possibly for a different reason) – I’m impressed with your thinking. Keep being awesome and showing up for yourself – you are stronger than your addiction and with support can overcome anything.
@Rockstar24777 grateful that you are back on the other meds and at least the familiarity helps you cope better with them and you do manage some sleep.

Checking in on Monday morning
I am trying to move around and get things done but am finding it really hard all of a sudden. Will try to eat something and take my Vitamin D to see if that helps with the energy levels at least. Wishing every wonderful sober Monday! Sending much love

[HappyDays]

61 days and life is great! Everyday is a good day…Finally going back to work tomorrow after my accident so thats actually exciting…next check in will be 90… Have a great day everyone

[Mira_D]

Thank you so much JazzyS, i love reading your posts and how you respond to all of these people. Appreciate the love & understanding hope the vitamin D helped

[Juli1]

Day 5 evening checkin

FCK alcohol

Sober and calm.

Will cook some dinner (Veggie and Tofu with Szechuan pepper) soon.

Much love

[Amy30]

Second check-in because I have to share. Y’all know that gig I applied for the other day and thought I didn’t get? Yeah… I got it!

[Lance83]

Beginning day 6 feeling happy but cautious

[Cjp]

Yayyy congrats on the gig @Amy30

[JazzyS]

Congrats Amy!!!

[KarenKW]

Checking in sober. I’m really struggling with depression and anxiety today. I took the morning off work and went for a walk and then took a nap. Felt a bit calmer after the nap, but now trying to get some work done and struggling more. This fucking sucks. This triggers cravings because I just want to numb myself. I know we don’t do that anymore. But I’m tired of feeling my feelings because they are shit. I’m doing all the things - hydrating, eating healthy, walking, journaling, checking in here. Why do I still feel so awful? I sometimes forget that it’s an actual disease and not a personal failing. I feel broken. I need a hug, but don’t have anyone around that I can call to come over. I don’t trust anyone enough to be vulnerable. I’m grateful for this community being a safe space. I’m not in any danger of hurting myself or others. Just taking it OFDAAT.

[CATMANCAM]

@Dee19 I struggle a lot with these myself, they come out of nowhere, then WHAM! Solidarity 🩵
@SadMemeQueen unresolved trauma can definitely amplify pain around anniversaries and triggers, keep talking to your therapist about everything, and I hope your pain subsides soon 🩵
@Misokatsu I’m sorry you lost a friend like that I had 2 friends like that in my younger years, and although neither of them died, they did both disown me when I came out as trans 10 years ago, so in a way, I can relate to those what/if thoughts and feelings.
@Mira_D thank you for your share, it resonated a lot
@anon53116147 congrats on 40 days enjoy the fireworks tomorrow
@Rob11 sorry you’re struggling sending strength 🩵
@Bomdhil congrats on your week
@HappyDays congrats on 60 days
@Amy30 congrats on the gig!
@KarenKW I’m sorry it’s still so rough for you, you’re doing the best you can, and that is good enough. Sending strength and a virtual hug 🩵

1057 days no alcohol.
522 days no cocaine.
37 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.

I went to my initial therapy session, but I’m left feeling disappointed because it was just form filling, even though I’ve completed lots of online forms already, and she said there’s some more to do next week as well, so there was no actual therapy, which to me seems an unfair use of the time I’m supposed to be having therapy. I did however, have a huge stroke of luck… there were no disabled spaces behind the building I was going to, where I usually park when I go into the city, so I had to park in one of the councils car parks, where disabled customers have to pay now, not an issue, but I had to guess my registration plate, as it’s a new ish to me car, I also saw the expiry time and it said 11:18, so I thought that’s plenty of time to get back to my car (I was focused on 11 because that was my appointment time, but I should have added another hour onto it, since my appt ended at 12pm), I realised my error during the session at 11:42 and was very angry at myself, convinced I’d get 2 fines, one for getting the last digit of my reg plate wrong, and one for going over the expiry time by 40mins. Then, on my way back to my car I realised I hadn’t displayed my disabled badge either, and as I was parked in a disabled bay, I could have gotten a fine for that too…but, there were no fines attached to my car at all, so I guess the Universe was on my side this time

My plan to take myself to the cinema for my birthday tomorrow morning, is void, because I wouldn’t be out in time for my cessation nurse phonecall. There are 3 other showings but not til the late afternoon and evening, so I’ll have to see when/if my family want to see me and work around them. Hopefully I can still go.

TW mentions weight-loss.

I met my auntie, uncle, and one of their friends for lunch today, and their jaws dropped when they saw me, and they were saying things like ‘look at you!’ ‘You’ve shrank’, I didn’t realise the stone I’ve recently lost was so noticeable, but I appreciated their support. I always fail to see my progress, especially when I’ve still got such a long way to go (before I’m considered to be a ‘healthy’ weight according to the BMI scale).

🩵

[Sissychris39]

701 days: no pills
13 days: no credit cards
6 days: no overeating

[AlexWayhill]

Late Check-in on day 189. The working week already had some stressful moments waiting for me, but the wonderful hiking weekend has filled my battery to the max, so it didn’t really matter .
Stay strong, my friends, and have a good and sober day and night .

[LeeHawk]

@KarenKW

I’m doing all the things - hydrating, eating healthy, walking, journaling, checking in here. Why do I still feel so awful?

You are really fighting for your sobriety. I see that. What’s missing is connection. Have you made any sober connections you have regular contact with? What about a recovery meeting with online meetings? This is the single most important tool I have outside of TS.

[Catmama23]

27 days AF. Not much to report just saying hi I hope everyone is having a good sober day and finding some peace

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Checking in
Day 505
Today has been buuuusy. But i planned it to be that way. Was up by 530am to workout. Then had my morning coffee while i did some laundry. Washed up the bed sheets and changed those. Took my son out for a bike ride. Did dishes. And now all i have to do is clean the bathroom. I feel tired, but a good tired. I also had my Dr appt to follow up on my new meds which helps me with my anxiety. She increased those so that should help. Overall its been a good day! Hope everyone else is having a fabulous day also!

[KarenKW]

I know I need to build up my social network. One of my coworkers has become a really great friend and is also sober. We chat all through the workday but she’s been on vacation. I did join a local sober Facebook group that gets together on occasion. I just hate going out and meeting new people.

[Bomdhil]

@CATMANCAM thank you. I hope to mantain the momentum

[Newsoberhuman666]

Checking in on day number 5. The days are slowly getting easier but the dreams about doing the stuff I left are getting stronger