Checking in. Sober. Having a rest day. Bought a helmet and a new 2nd lock. Let’s hope for the best.
Reading around, with many people being hopeless (well that’s how I interpret some posts) makes me thoughtful. Thinking back to the very dark hours when noone could help me. When I thought I had tried everything and I was sure there was only this state of misery for me. And I think people back then wanted to help me really and I think many of them gave up on me. I am not mad at them. It’s hard. I just want to say that I am grateful for this huge community where as a this enormous entity of knowledge and wisdom we can help each other. And if the window of reception is not open today, maybe it will be open another day.
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118 days today. At the airport starting the trip to Mexico City for business trip this week.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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Travel safe and sober my friend
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Day 247
I’m still hella tired guys 
My boss and one coworker feel the same, we could fall asleep while standing.
I left early today, when I’m home I’ll have time to nap and relax. It’s warm, 27°C and no wind. Of course it’s warmer in the city because there is still too much asphalt and not enough shadow. Typical for this city, although we have a lot of trees already. Still not enough.
I met a neighbor yesterday. Usually he’s quite nice and always up for a chat. This time he was kinda grumpy and didn’t even wanted to say “Hi”. I, again, questioned if I did anything wrong in the past.
The same feeling I have when someone doesn’t respond to me right away (I wrote about that in a previous post).
Now that I understand why I am like this it’s much easier to not start those racing thoughts where I think I’m the problem. I really like that 
Heading home now, then me-time 
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Day 12. Doing pretty good. Looks like a nice decent day, I’ll hit the gym if I can find someone to take me. My girls are doing good. Not much to say today. Much love
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Morning Check In
Day 477
Goood morning TS fam! Hope everyone is doing well today!
I got some slight anxiety going on this morning for an upcoming appt for my son. I also didnt sleep well (had a using dream) but did manage to get to the gym for 6am. My workout wasnt the greatest but im happy that i attempted it.
Its 8am and I already put the laundry away and am having my morning coffee 
I have a Bible Study zoom mtg shortly and then will get ready for his appt. Praying, praying, praying all goes well!
Ya i guess thats it for today. Oh and i have to make some homemade fondant today also for my cupcake toppers. Thats always a messy job lol 
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
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I am genuinely happy for other people’s accomplishments. I was just saying that sometimes it makes me feel less than. I think it’s important to be able to share in this thread feelings or thoughts that we know we shouldn’t have without being made to feel judged or even more less than (i.e. selfish or self centered).
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I was responding to Amy because I really liked what she had to say. I have no idea what your post even says.
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Hello all,
Checking in on Day 1,773 Sober.
God Bless!
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Loads of hugs my friend. 
898 days free and sober! I know you know that the voice telling you that booze will help is Bullshit! I know it’s hard to remember the early days of sobriety and all that you’ve conquered but hopefully if you have posts here or kept a journal you can remind yourself of your personal journey. I’m sure it was not an easy one. Whatever life is throwing at you – it is easier to navigate sober. Are you able to get your blood tested to make sure you are not deficient in any vitamins. Are you able to change up your nightly routine so that possibly you can go to bed more relaxed and at peace which would help start fresh the next day?
Sometimes we are the “thing” that has to change. Our way of thinking, acting and our routines… and our overall perspective. Wishing you loads of strength in figuring out what’s best for you and how to achieve it. You have proven your strength by being sober for so long (this was not an easy task) – keep showing up for yourself You are worth it!
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@chickenlarb I am sorry that you are dealing with so much anxiety and more so sorry about the fact that you don’t feel like you deserve love, affection or attention. We are here for you my friend and offer you the love that you deserve. I do hope that the journaling and mindful stretching helped out.
@xxix has going down with your dosage affected you emotionally before? If this is new – you should consult your doctor (maybe not ready to reduce yet). If not new – how long does it last? Can you try positive affirmations and possible watch some comedy to get your brain thinking and feeling happy thoughts? Life is beautiful my friend and I do hope that you get to start experiencing this very soon
@nastya_is_fighting I am super excited for you – 1 week is huge and I’ve noticed such a positive change in you already. You are so young and been through so much. Sorry about your dream – glad you are not letting it bring you anxiety. Stay strong!
@JessicaAnn93 You are doing great Jessica – 11 days is no joke. I do think you should set a timer to at least check in here once a day. Try to make it a part of your daily routine so that you don’t lose days and start your isolation cycle. The moods in early sobriety are all over the place – trick is to be aware of this and not allow yourself to get sucked into the negative void. You are strong and have proven this with your 11 days! Keep going and hopefully the depression will ease up too.
@JennyH Yeah 3 weeks! Is there a reason you are only attempting sobriety with willpower alone? With you school starting and you being back to work properly all the stresses will reappear and can cause you to become overwhelmed if you are not prepared for it. You are doing great so far and with ODAAT can continue your streak – Not sure what has you believing that you won’t be able to build on the numbers. We have faith in you – hope that you start feeling it too!
@Luna2022 Glad to see you back here and so thrilled that @Twizzlers was able to help you find your way. Appreciate your words! I am so glad that you are able to see that you are in no way inferior or failing. We do indeed have different paths to the same goal. Being active here really helps us with keeping focus of that goal even if we side step from time to time. I too love this community and am so grateful to have found it – glad we are on this journey together.
You crack me up – I love it! Excited for your hiking / camping adventure – do post lots of pics! Glad to see you back and posting
How lovely to read this! We all have our grumpy moments that have nothing to do with others but unfortunately, we do project it outwardly. I do try to smile when I am around people even when I’m feeling shitty because smiles are contagious (as are frowns). Next time you see someone frowning just smile at them. Know you are not the reason for the frown but you could be the reason for them feeling better :wink
@butterflymoonwoman I’m not 100% sure but there may be a correlation between the anxiety of your son’s appointments and your using dreams? Not sure how you would lessen the anxiety to avoid the dreams but maybe food for thought? I do hope everything goes well for you and your son. Sending out positive vibes
OOF it’s Monday and I feel exhausted from the weekend…My Late Monday morning check in
I’m sober and irritated with my body but happy with life 
No threat of giving in to my DOC - had some vegan pizza with the vegan cheese (processed crap) and it was good at the time but not sitting too well. Such is the risk when I eat out. Going to cook something healthy and anti inflammatory tonight (possibly a ton of turmeric) 
Have a great sober Monday my friends - sending much love 
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I love this, I don’t look nice to others when my face is relaxed (resting bit*h face hahaha) so I try to have a slight smile on my face all the time when I’m outside.
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You always find the perfect perfect gif 
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Great news on one week free, yay 
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Thanks so much @Misokatsu I will be glad when this week is over and I can move forward.
Thanks for your reply @JazzyS I was here a year ago and got a couple of months so have been cautious to celebrate too much. I am not deliberately doing it on willpower alone, think I am just really tired and still grieving. I have sort of stumbled here and with willpower am making it stick. I do know I need to have a stronger plan in place though. Do you ever just feel so weary you can’t seem to add anything new in? I know how to abstain but the work to remain sober seems like such a lot of effort and am hoping I will get more energy after the funeral.
Edit to add, I am the same with vegan cheese and have to avoid now. My body didn’t react well to my lunch and have no idea why so had a very gentle dinner. Enjoy yours 
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Thank you a lot! Your words so much mean to me.
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I feel this! What’s going on emotionally? Read: “There’s a hole in my love cup” … might be time to get rid of people/places/things that got you feeling down! We usually are most influenced by the 5 people we spend the most time with. Are they draining your life force? Btw congrats on your sobriety! That in itself is amazing! Sending virtual hugs!
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Holy shit yes! I would often have to stop listening and taking in new information (this used to royally piss off my mother as she was trying to help me). Its gotten a lot better in the past month
Im glad tou stumbled upon sobriety. Grateful you do have the willpower to get you through this moment. Sending you comfort in dealing with the funeral. Hopeful that youll gain the energy to seek out support irl soon but know we are always here for you- virtual support 247…
Ps- i think its the oils they use for the vegan cheese…i do like ciao brand but even that i can only do once a month if that…enjoy your light dinner…
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Thank you everyone for the kind words. On day 8. Went to my noon meeting which is so cool. It’s every day and I can have it in my lunch break. I love the people and everyone is so nice. I’m in a good place right now. Cravings are very bearable. I tell them to shut up anyway. Have a good one everyone
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Congratulations on your 7 days self harm free Nastya
Beautiful 
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